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Author Topic: BEWARE THE EGG-HEADED DESTROYERS!!!  (Read 1025 times)
WIL
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wildoublefart
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« on: July 10, 2007, 07:54:35 PM »

A few years ago me and a very close friend of mine decided to make it our mission to create a voice for the forgotten horror fan. We knew for every “shitty” horror film there was a fan that thought this so-called “shitty” horror film was gold. Old horror films were becoming like Michael Jackson records, we all knew they sold well but you couldn’t find one fucking person who owned one.

It’s like they all grabbed their “shit” and ran away, so it couldn’t be remade, ridiculed or had some political commentary forced into it where it didn’t belong. As the Jovanka Vuckovic’s sharpened their fangs to suck the blood and fun out of horror, a problem arose. These people, NOT us, became the voice of horror. Legions of horror “fans” with their horror t-shirts, colored contacts and stupid tattoos branded themselves with even stupider names, and started the cut & paste horror website, pushing the fan sites off the map.

Soon we were bombarded with months & months of “news” about someone taking a fart on the set of the new “blockbuster” horror movie, while the small horror film almost went on ignored. It was bad, it was a bore, it made me hate the genre, fuck it made get banned from almost every horror website on the Internet.

So I took the copies of my favorite horror movies and instead of running away with them and hiding like some fans did, I threw them at their faces. I thought, fuck it  I’ll cut & paste their news and mix it with our own agenda. I’ll take their red carpet they rolled out for their icons and have my icons walk on it, then I’ll wipe my ass with it and hand it back.

In all my travels I have met lots of horror experts and they don’t look like the people running the major websites and they don’t have names like Mr. Disgusting or Spooky Dan. They were just normal looking people who loved horror films, but there is one expert that I met that trumped us all…His name is Gary G. and I found him hiding alone in Philadelphia PA, with a horror collection that would put most horror collections to shame. He didn’t wear his love of horror as a badge as most horror “fans” do, he didn’t have a jack skeleton lunchbox, or wore all black, nope, he is a black guy with glasses.

I know you’re thinking what does his race and eyesight have to do with anything?
Well the reason I mention what Gary looks like, is because here I met someone who should be telling the world about horror, a true fan and he was just a normal person. Not the wanna-be celebrities who are supposed to be  “the voice” of horror on the Internet or in print these days; he was just the regular fan, a guy who liked horror a lot.

Mostly because I can’t focus more then 20 seconds at a time, has Horror Yearbook lost it’s way. While I am busy getting drunk and acting like an ass, sometimes we lose focus, but I am very happy to reintroduce Gary G. back to Horror Yearbook so he can smack me and you back on track!

With that I proudly give you Gary G's - BEWARE THE EGG-HEADED DESTROYERS!!!
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I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
gprime
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« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2007, 01:52:34 AM »

Jesus Christ, you're an even bigger loser than Rich.  This site offers nothing unique.  It's just another horror fan site, and not a very good one at that.  It's a glorified blog, not a "special place for the true horror fan." 

Does your ego always get this sloppy after a night of drinking?  Stop trying to suck your own dick, stop playing on your MBs, and start, you know, adding CONTENT to your little web page. 

I'm sorry you felt left out of the smart people's conversations on other MBs.  Sucks to be you, I guess.  Maybe, instead of trying to lower the bar when it comes to discussing horror, you might consider putting more effort into learning to compose thoughts intelligently.  Read a fucking book once in awhile.  Maybe, instead of getting drunk and watching horror movies, you could ... I don't know... occasionally watch one sober.  What a crazy idea!  You might actually see something in one that's worth discussing with intelligence. 

There are no horror snobs out there.  You are competing with no one.  This bullshit about other elitist horror sites and publications exists only in your drunken mind.  You are a tool.  Get used to it.

 Cheesy
« Last Edit: July 11, 2007, 01:54:20 AM by gprime » Logged
WIL
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« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2007, 02:18:45 AM »

That was such a sad attempt to get me riled up I don't know what to say. I could care less what the asperger, little corn cob smoking geeks at Dread Central think.

« Last Edit: July 11, 2007, 11:13:10 AM by WIL » Logged

I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
WIL
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« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2007, 02:26:33 AM »

P.S. thanks for backing up our point for us.
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I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
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« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2007, 10:53:04 PM »

Old School! Thank you. About time someone shit down the throats of these uppity faggots who do nothing but hijack a genre that wasn't made for them. In love with Bruce Campbell, cool. Not my wet dream but that's fine with me. In love with Bruce Campbell because your asshole friend had a shitty VHS dub of Evil Dead 2 back in '94 that you watched, didn't enjoy, but because it's a "true" horror fans movie, you rode the bandwagon to popularville. Fuck you. I'm perfectly happy with my Jeepers Creepers DVD's and my box set of Sleep Away Camp. And you go on a read your worn out copy of On The Road at a coffee shop with all the other "pay attention to me" kids. Just remember to cut your toenails before you put your flops on.
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WIL
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« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2007, 10:58:59 PM »

Thank You! Heh!  Wink
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 12:48:34 AM by WIL » Logged

I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
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« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2007, 11:08:09 AM »

I've never considered myself an egg-head, but I rather like the term 'Destroyer."  That's cool!

The thrust of Gary's passionate piece seems to be, "It's bad to apply serious criticism to genre movies."  It also seems to be, "Either you like what we like, and look at it the way we look at it, or you're against us." I strongly disagree, and everyone approaches movies, music, literature, and even drugs from different subjective points of view.

My own feeling is that if you support big budget tits-and-blood fests like HOSTEL you get more of the same.  And that's why there was a HOSTEL 2.  From what I hear, 2 was better than 1; whatever, I don't care.  But do the fans of these films really need another one?  What kind of message are yous ending when you tell people to support more of the same, or when Gary says that people shouldn't criticize these things?

 What the horror genre needs is more original films and fewer remakes and sequels.  Again, Gary and I disagree on that point.  I like to see serious criticism of these films; it's why my favorite SF mag was CINEFANTASTIQUE, back when it was really snooty, even though I always felt insulted when I read their reviews of my favorite movies and TV shows.   That magazine used to really piss me off, but it served a much greater purpose than promotional pablum like STARLOG, and it taught me to view films with a critical eye. Then it morphed into a much more conventional thing, concentrating on   episode guides and nonsense like that, and the revival a couple of years ago was just lame.

I don't know what any of this has to do with Jevonka. I've already gone on record as saying that I think RUE MORGUE is the best horror magazine ever, and that I think it's editorial outlook has flourished under her direction.  I've met her and Rod briefly once or twice, and I know Monica somewhat socially.  I wouldn't say I'm really friends with any of them, but with the short distance between Buffalo and Toronto, I'm happy to run into them from time to time. I've also been upfront that their support is pretty important to my projects from a marketing perspective, so you can dismiss my statements as those of an ass kisser, but that ain't the case; I had a fanboy letter printed on their letters page even before I had a publishing deal for PERSONAL DEMONS or a  DVD for SLIME CITY, and I don't write fanboy letters often. Smiley

Wil, I'm a big fan of HYB, and I think all of you do a great job here.  I love that you guys support my stuff, which few people have even heard of, and that you've given me a little section here where I can spam all of my stuff and people can ignore my posts, and you post all of my press releases with great fanfare, etc.  In fact, I consider  y'all my biggest  supporters.  Hell, I'm going all the way to San Jose for Silicon on my own dime, and plan to get toasted with all of you! I enjoy the irreverent attitude here more than the other boards I frequent, and I always feel iike a left out doofus  whenever I miss a big flame war.  You crazy kids!  I think your mission  statement is a great one (and certainly beneficial to me).  There's room for the serious approach of RM and the approach here.  In fact, the genre is better served by having a wide spectrum of coverage.  I don't see how attacking other forums/mags helps anyone; I feel like that little kid in KRAMER VS. KRAMER, and what happened to his career after that movie?

Now, who do I have to fuck to get the membership here to watch GRUESOME?
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« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2007, 11:19:07 AM »

Murder watched it he said it was OK.

 And thank you. It really wasn't a personal attack on  Jovanka at all. I have dealt with her and she is great, but it is just two different approaches to the genre and we try to support all of them the  best we can. We just don't care for her approach sometimes, that is all. I want her to continue to make Rue Morgue and do what she does because Rue Morgiue is a great magazine most of the time.

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I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
WIL
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« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2007, 11:20:26 AM »

Now someone watch the damn Johnny Gruesome video  Tongue
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I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
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« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2007, 11:23:51 AM »

I"M GUMBY, DAMMIT!

I mean, I'M EGG-HEADED DESTROYER, DAMMIT!
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JOHNNY GRUESOME  Trade Paperback and CHEAP SCARES! LOW BUDGET HORROR FILMMAKERS SHARE THEIR SECRETS Now Available! GRUESOME CD, Mini-Movie, Mask,  Comics - www.johnnygruesome.com; PERSONAL DEMONS and SLIME CITY -- www.slimeguy.com
WIL
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« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2007, 11:30:47 AM »

Yes you are1 Now exuse me I have to go report on celebrity nipples over at my other website.
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I have loved some ladies & I have loved Jim Beam and they both have tried to kill me in 1973.

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this!

BELIEVE!
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