BLOODSUCKING FREAKS (aka the greatest fucking movie of all time)
I don’t remember exactly how old I was when my Father (RIP) brought this flick home from the video store for me to watch, but I had to have been less than 10 years old! My parents actually watched it with me, complaining the whole time about the nudity and finally turned it off during the legendary teeth-pulling/brain-sucking sequence. That’s like 40 minutes in! I witnessed more than enough naked chicks and S&M themed torture in those 40 minutes to make a lasting impression. This flick, perhaps more than any other, truly warped my mind!
Since that awkward experience as a youth, I’ve watched this one more times than I could count. I consider Bloodsucking Freaks to be a perfect film. The only thing that could possibly make it any better would be another scene featuring naked women being tortured.
Fuck Butch & Sundance! Fuck Batman & Robin! Fuck Tango & Cash! The on screen duo of Sardu & Ralphus will surely go down in the annals of cinema history as the greatest of all time. The sadly departed Louie De Jesus displays the same trademark charm and wit he would later bring to his classic roles in “The Anal Dwarf” and “Return Of The Jedi,” while the late great Seamus O’Brien lights up the screen with a combination of grace, humor, and homosexual necrophilia that hacks like Brad Pitt could only dream of one day obtaining.
People who can’t appreciate the sheer genius on display here should take a cue from the caged sexiods and eat a dick sandwich!!!
