MICROWAVE MASSACRE (1983/but shot in 1978)
Directed by: Wayne Berwick
This time Moronic Mark takes on the classic horror/comedy title (but horrible flick), MICROWAVE MASSACRE and wonders how movie can deliver the promises of it’s title without any blood. At least, there’s plenty of boobs even though that’s not mentioned in the title. He also takes on Hulk Hogan(’s sandwich) and Frosty the Snowman gone wild.
Continue reading ‘Satan’s Screener: MICROWAVE MASSACRE It’s Titastic!’
This time Moronic Mark battles a cricket and a totally unique yet mind-numblying awful flick with grown men in Halloween masks. There’s also a shitload of naked women in it (many are quite spankeriffic), yet he still can’t reccomend it cause it’s 85 minutes of torture.
Moronic Mark gets another taste of Tang (aka director Charles T. Lang who he calls “Tang” just to be an asshole) and surprisingly, he likes the results. Sure the movie is a generic shot on video craneshot and mullet filled cheesefest, but then the gore comes in the last 20 minutes and the flick becomes entertaining.
Moronic Mark celebrates his 20th bad movie review episode in order to save his soul with a fourth helping of a Todd Sheets’ effort. He this review off starts by giving him a musical “tribute” since Todd makes Ed Wood, Uwe Boll, and Joel Schumacher look like the Three Tenors of Cinematic Achievement.
Video after the jump!
Just a standard slasher flick with an outstanding cast. You got former Funicello funbag groper and crooniner, Frankie Avalon as the killer. The original honor student by day, hooker by night, ANGEL, Donna Wilkes as his target. DIRTY DOZEN er and “Baywatch” star, Richard Jaeckel as the loving abusive alcoholic father. And Lainie Kazan sings the slasher flicks love theme. Somehow this flick has been forgotten, yet Moronic Mark still has to endure it.
Satan and Moronic Mark throw us a curveball this week by reviewing the never released, Roger Corman produced, Fantastic Four. It may not be a horror movie but it is pretty horrible.
The latest episode of Satan’s Screener: Unborn Sins is about abortion, but mainly it’s a cheesey mess that is fun to dance to. Watch the video after the jump.
Moronic Mark continues his quest to watch and review the worst movies ever made. Now he has to take his third dosage of Kansas City Missouri’s village idiot, Todd Sheets, with Todd’s film, SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH (a blantant SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA knockoff that’s actually financed by David DeCoteau).
Moronic Mark accidentially sold his soul to Satan, while drunkenly filling out applications to job postings on the internet. Now he has to watch and review the worst movies ever made and post up the results in his little webshow called “Satan’s Screener.” This Episode: Hellmaster - Video after the jump!
Moronic Mark accidentially sold his soul to Satan, while drunkenly filling out applications to job postings on the internet. Now he has to watch and review the worst movies ever made and post up the results in his little webshow called “Satan’s Screener.”
Tonight, Mark watches the Canadian clusterfuck, 13 aka City in Panic… Watch the video after the jump.
