Mall horror is a thorn in the side of many an experienced horror fan. The label applies to films that span any number of fright sub-genres. However, there’s one thing these movies all have in common — they suck.
To clarify, “mall horror” is characterized by films that are light-weight in scares, relying mostly on a worn cavalcade of clichés; short scenes of silence being shattered by a burst of loud music, usually accompanied by something jumping out at the on-screen character being the most common and damnable, and derivative in story, to the point that the majority are remakes. Asinine twist endings aren’t required but are common anyway. “Unrated” DVD releases that claim to be “the version too intense for theaters,” but actually add nothing more offensive then what’s all ready there, have quickly become a requirement as well. The one main aspect that categorizes a picture as mall horror is its need to appeal to easily startled teenage girls. In other worlds, if a fourteen year old girl dressed like the latest Bratz doll and says “The Foreboding Closet” is the scariest movie she’s ever seen, you can probably rest assure that said motion picture is mall horror.
Continue reading ‘The Horrors of Mall Horror’
Published by wil May 13th, 2008
in ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS.
The days of any kind of genre or cult fan meeting in one place to hang out and share in their enjoyment of whatever it is they enjoy are long gone. The “fan convention” has been replaced by over-stocked and over-priced celebrity worship gatherings. San Diego’s Comic-Con and conventions like Creations Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors are a who’s who of studio PR machines and washed-up horror “celebrities” in need of a paycheck
Published by wil April 25th, 2008
in ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS.
atching Charles Band films is always great because it is fun to try and guess what other horror films he “borrowed” ideas from. The man has made a long career out of reusing other movie schemes, ripping himself off so many times he probably doesn’t even realize he is doing it anymore. His favorite sub-genre to milk is the “tiny killer flick,” thanks to the surprise success of 1984’s Ghoulies, which prompted Band to make 1986’s Troll, 1989’s Puppet Master, 1990’s Subspecies, plus countless others.
When I moved to NYC to study filmmaking at the School of Visual Arts, my uncle, who got me a job behind the candy stand at Cinema I (now Cinema 1, 2, 3rd avenue. Robert Craig Sabin—who would later star in my film SLIME CITY—worked there as well, and James Lorinz, the star of FRANKENHOOKER and STREET TRASH, worked for the same chain at the Beekman Theatre (immortalized in Woody Allen’s ANNIE HALL) a few blocks away. For my first few nights on the job, I worked with a young woman named Alice Martin, who trained me to replace her. I learned that she had acted in a low budget slasher movie called SPLATTER U.
You really think that the first audiences to be scared shitless by the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre left the drive-in and said, “Wow. I loved how this film commented on the social divide between the crumbling rural backwoods and the invading city dwellers and how the break down of the family structure has forced these backwoods characters to create their own grotesque version of a family. This is fascinating. Lets discuss.” No. No. No.
Published by Brain Hammer January 4th, 2008
in NEWS and ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS.
Gory greetings and happy new year horroryearbook alumni! It’s been a slow stretch with no new Brain Hammer approved dvd releases hitting stores, so I decided to turn my attention to the future instead. After several days spent prowling around looking for info I’m pleased to present the following list of 20 horror flicks (supposedly) coming out in 2008 that I am eagerly, and not so eagerly awaiting seeing.
This is part three of our exhausting 2007 Year in Review. We already gave you an in depth look at Eli Roth and Rob Zombie (Read Here), the two most influential people in the horror genre right now, then we listed our Top Ten Horror Films of 2007 (Read Here), now I give you The Best Alternative, Overlooked and Unappreciated Horror Films of 2007, again presented by our wonderful and eclectic 10% gay staff.
Published by wil December 21st, 2007
in ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS and TOP TEN LIST.
Well here it is our first and maybe last top ten horror movies of the year list. I realized something about top ten lists; they are a lot of fun when someone else picks them. Since this was such a major pain in the ass, and our original motto at HYB (even though we are far removed from our original vision) was to leave no horror film behind, this is actually part two of three of our “Year in Review.” Part one was our in-depth look at the film careers of Eli Roth and Rob Zombie. (Read LEADERS OF THE SPLAT: An examination of the films and careers of Rob Zombie and Eli Roth Here).
This is Part 1 of our “2007 Year in Review” which will be followed by our Top Ten of 2007 and our recap of the little films that deserve an honorable mention. LEADERS OF THE SPLAT: An examination of the films and careers of Rob Zombie and Eli Roth…
by Gary G.
Unlike a lot of people I won’t be talking shit about “Rob Zombie’s Halloween” because I haven’t seen it yet. It seems like a lot of horror fans have the knives out for this one so to speak. I’d rather talk some shit about the first eight Halloween flicks instead, and offer some insight as to why I think the franchise has no place to go but UP.
A couple years back, some snide critic coined the term “torture porn”- and probably smiles with smug satisfaction every time it’s used. Too bad for him he didn’t copyright it, which come to think of it, sounds like something Lloyd Kauffman would do.
Horror fans of all ages. I Implore you! Watch out! The EGG-HEADED DESTROYERS are among us and determined to extinguish you and every horror movie you love. They’ve decimated the once vital indie/art house movie scene with their endless overanalyzing and have set their beady, pretentious eyes on what used to be the most unaffected, loose and free genre of filmmaking left. The horror genre. And we are to blame for their infestation of our ranks.
Published by wil July 2nd, 2007
in ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS.
This weekend I purchased Dolph Lundgren’s “I Come in Peace,” “Splatter University,” and of course,“Death Spa,” on VHS. While watching “Death Spa” I got inspired to have a smack down between it and the wonderful slasher film “Killer Workout.” I would say I was going to do more articles like this one, but that would be a flat out lie. So here is a head to head battle for the ages (and don’t get used to it)…
As reported here last week, a piece in The New York Times has declared the horror genre dead, leaving us all with no choice but to divert our love and money toward some other genre or pursuit. We won’t have any further inspiration to murder toddlers. And if we’re going to commit heinous acts in the name of Our Lord Satan, we’ll have to do so without the well-planned blueprints of Hollywood screenwriters.
Published by wil June 14th, 2007
in ORGINAL ARTICLES/ RANTS.
Lame horror websites like this one will review anything: scripts, magazines, books, movies, and your mother’s apple pie. As long as it makes us feel important and better than you, we will review it. So I decided to review Dread Central’s new podcast feature Splattrax, (why not) where each week, I guess, you can watch a bad movie at the same time as the DC gang and listen to them try to be Mystery Science Theater.
