Published by Greg September 1st, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 70's.
aka Delirio caldo
Director: Renato Polselli
Cast: Mickey Hargitay, Rita Caldana, Raul Lovecchio, Carmen Young, Christa Barrymore
Criminal psychologist, Dr. Herbert Lyutak is a violent sexual deviant who has been killing young women and is now under suspicion by the authorities. His gorgeous wife begins to also suspect something when she finds a bloody dress in his hiding spot in their home. Herbert is tortured by his “illness” so much so that it has rendered him impotent. But his wife loves him so much that she wants only for him to “love her” and do with her whatever he wants (including playing rough). But he will not let himself harm the woman he loves. In fact, he wants to divorce her to keep her safe but she will not allow it. She begs him to stay and act out his aggressions on her.
Review by Greg Baty of The Playground Movie Review
Continue reading Delirium (1972)
Published by Brain Hammer August 29th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL).
It’s the war to settle the score! This explosive feud ignited when I stumbled across some less then flattering reviews of one of my all time favorite flicks, the 1984 Charles E. Sellier Jr. classic - SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT! I’d like to throw down with these chumps triple threat style with a terrible trio of SNDN reviews.
Check out a pissworthy write up from the Onion AV Club, a classic pissed off review from Siskel & Ebert, and the deranged ramblings of yours truly. I’ll let anyone who has the GUTS to make their way through this holiday holocaust decide which review is the winner.
First and foremost it should be made known that this Death Race has almost nothing to do with the 1975 Roger Corman produced classic. Other than a handful of character names, the film’s title and the fact that there are cars involved there is little connecting this remake to the original. Truthfully, this race has more in common with video games like Mario Kart and Twisted Metal than it does with the black comedy it’s supposed to be a remake of.
Mirrors manages to resist the simple ghost story clichés and predictability. Even though it is not among the greatest, it still severely squashes the vast majority of mediocre films that have premises that are not all that different. It accomplishes this by having a solid story and doesn’t feel the need to reveal it in a big twist. Instead, it gradually is revealed to us at piece by piece at the same time our main character is learning and discovering the information for himself and learning what he has to do to stop what will otherwise be the inevitable.
With such a funny and offensive title like RetarDead, How did Rick Popko manage to make such an un-funny and non-offensive film? The sequel to Monsturd, RetarDead is not without any smirks or chuckles, every time they mentioned the “poop monster” I giggled like a 14-year-old girl. But leftover jokes from its predecessor doesn’t make a good follow-up.
Pineapple Express is a stoner comedy given to us by the Apatow team and written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg who gave us the hilarious and very fun Superbad about this time last summer. The stoner character that Rogen gives us is very similar to the character he played in Knocked Up. Interestingly enough, Pineapple Express manages to still bring new things to the table and gives us a completely different tone unlike any other Apatow film. It is really a crime and action stoner comedy. The comedy seems to make the action seem more bizarre and the action highlights that the comedy is really the only medicine in a situation this messed up. at times it is more one than the other, but in many ways these different aspects highlight the other.
Kai (Wong) is in the midst of fucking his boss’s wife when he is interrupted by said boss and promptly reprimanded… or humiliated, whatever… tomayto, tomahto. Anywho, this enrages Kai and he kills everyone in sight and if they have a vagina, he rapes them. 10 years later, he has escaped the Hong Kong authorities and is now living in Johannesburg, South Africa which, oddly, has a “China Town”. He works for a restaurant owner and his cunty wife who take advantage of their knowledge of his “situation” by underpaying him and generally mistreating him.
Sure this is a romantic-comedy and has nothing to do with horror. So why am I talking about it? Because it’s Another USA Up All Night “classic”, it has Michelle Bauer naked and I’m really fucking bored.
We live in very interesting times. A year ago, I would never have given any thought to Rob Cohen’s The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor. The first two Mummy films were fun, disposable entertainment that owed more to the Indiana Jones films than to the great Mummy films from Universal Pictures and Hammer Film Productions. No one would call Stephen Sommers a visionary, but he knew how to make decent summer popcorn films loaded with CGI effects and pleasing characters. The best thing to come out of The Mummy Returns was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the Scorpion King. He even got his spin off film the following year– The Scorpion King.
Published by Noel Penaflor August 1st, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL).
If the answer is yes, then perhaps you need to go online and go to HellCorrespondence.com (yes that is an actual URL) and get a little vengeance in your life. All you have to do is call Hell Girl (real name: Ai) and her pals and they’ll take care of it for in ways only Japanese anime can…
The Ruins is an adaptation of a novel, directed by the original author, Scott. B. Smith. They both have the same basic story outline, but the movie does have a few differences. The main is that the characters; most of what happened to a given character in the book happens to a different character in the movie. Besides that it is pretty minor, but loyal fans of the book might still have problems. For those who haven’t read it though, there aren’t too many problems to be found with the movie.
After 6 years the X-Files is back, hitting the big screens after 9 seasons of being on the air (7 of those which were actually good). Who wouldn’t want to believe that after more than half a decade Mulder and Scully hadn’t worn out their welcome, and that X Files faithful would welcome them back with open arms, ready to tackle aliens, government conspiracies, cigarette smoking octogenarians, black oil, abductions and whatever creator Chris Carter and his crew cranked out? It’s been said that The X-Files was one of the most cinematic shows ever put on television, and having been a casual fan in the late 90’s, I’d have to agree.
A group of friends are stranded in the woods after their car breaks down. They stumble up on the house of a sadistic family and find their secret locked downstairs. Ah hell, I’ll tell you it is a metal mouth with an appetite for human flesh. Sound familiar?
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Welcome to the fifth (and most likely not last) edition of IT CAME FROM THE MAILBOX, an exciting new column where your old pal Brain Hammer reviews whatever random crap the gold folks at horroryearbook decide to send my way.
Ok, so Jesse Metcalfe (Desperate Housewives, the original Miguel from Passions) plays this guy who wants to help his sister who’s in an asylum. I guess he’s never heard of hiring a lawyer so he takes the stupid route and goes about this by getting himself commited, via cutting himself up & acting crazy in public. (For the record: If you walk into a looney bin drunk and punch anyone in the lobby, that works too.
