aka Yi boh laai beng duk
Director: Herman Yau
Cast: Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Yeung Ming Wan, Fui-On Shing, Wong Tsui-ling, Miu-Ying Chan
Kai (Wong) is in the midst of fucking his boss’s wife when he is interrupted by said boss and promptly reprimanded… or humiliated, whatever… tomayto, tomahto. Anywho, this enrages Kai and he kills everyone in sight and if they have a vagina, he rapes them. 10 years later, he has escaped the Hong Kong authorities and is now living in Johannesburg, South Africa which, oddly, has a “China Town”. He works for a restaurant owner and his cunty wife who take advantage of their knowledge of his “situation” by underpaying him and generally mistreating him.
So Kai goes along with his boss to buy some cheap meat from the nearby Zulu tribe and they stumble upon the tribe in the midst of a ritual for some of their people who are infected with the Ebola virus. After purchasing the rancid meat from the tribal leader (who spoke fluent English with an American accent) they accidentally run into a tree and wreck their vehicle.
Review by Greg Baty of The Playground Movie Review
Continue reading Ebola Syndrome (1996)
Satan and Moronic Mark throw us a curveball this week by reviewing the never released, Roger Corman produced, Fantastic Four. It may not be a horror movie but it is pretty horrible.
Moronic Mark continues his quest to watch and review the worst movies ever made. Now he has to take his third dosage of Kansas City Missouri’s village idiot, Todd Sheets, with Todd’s film, SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH (a blantant SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA knockoff that’s actually financed by David DeCoteau).
Moronic Mark accidentially sold his soul to Satan, while drunkenly filling out applications to job postings on the internet. Now he has to watch and review the worst movies ever made and post up the results in his little webshow called “Satan’s Screener.” This Episode: Hellmaster - Video after the jump!
I like to think that I’m a pretty astute movie watcher. Even the most convoluted plots tend to make sense if you watch them intently enough. That is not the case when a movie is just plain shitty. When the story is secondary to say, gore, you had better ba-ring it (imagine me saying that with my pointer finger waving around and my neck making a circle with my head)!
Published by wil January 30th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 90's.
Wow, we used to watch a lot of crap in the 90’s, and I guess Swamp Thing: The Series was part of that category. If you wasted a lot of beautiful Saturday afternoons watching Small Wonder, or Evie Garland on Out of This World, or if you own the Saved by the Bell DVD box set, this may be for you. But be warned, >i>Swamp Thing: The Series is really only for serious crap hunters, because this is truly a test for even the best of us.
The story follows Ana (played wonderfully by the beautiful Francesca Neri) as a sharp shooter performing in the circus. She falls in love with a journalist named Marcos (Antonio Banderas). After a brutal rape and several murders later, she finds herself on the run with Marcos chasing after her.
This has a seemingly convoluted plot. Carter (et al., played exceptionally well by John Lithgow) begins to grow strange when he learns that his wife is having an affair with her ex.
Ice from the Sun (1999)
Directed by Eric Stanze
(N/R), 120 mins
Review by - Molly Celaschi
Uhhh…I guess it is about a man named “The Presence” that rules an alternate universe between Heaven and Hell encased in “ice from the sun” (not making this up). A suicide victim named Allison is hired as an assassin to hunt [...]
Savage Harvest
Directed by Eric Stanze
71 Mins
Review By Molly Celaschi
This is about, well, I am not sure exactly. I think a group of kids decide to camp near a lake where a Native American tribe elder was doing voodoo, got lynched, and buried in a water hole. They somehow conjure up some demons, a portal to [...]
