Cover Story (1993) (This is part of our new section Not so Basic Instincts: The Best in Sex Thrillers by Amanda By Night.)
Gregg Smith, where are you?
Gregg was the writer/producer/editor/director of Cover Story, an early 90s erotic thriller that spun a convoluted yet entertaining tale of a reporter and his obsession with a dead girl. It’s bit like the old Dana Andrew’s movie Laura, only with boobies. Also, there’s rap-music galore (Ram Luv, I adore you!), gay gangsters, Tuesday Knight (Nightmare on Elm Street 4) in the WORST wig in the history of wigs (Take that Loni Anderson!) and Robert Forster as the guy who couldn’t generate an emotion if you ate his kid in front of him (and yes, he’s STILL gorgeous!).
William Wallace is Matt, the guy who sometimes wears open vests without shirts. One night, his girlfriend Allison (Marisa Cody) gives him some nookie and then blows off her head. A year later Matt finally moves into a new place, determined to get back to work and back to living. He moves into the apartment of a dead girl named Reen (Tuesday Knight) and becomes obsessed with learning about her after the landlord gives him a videotape where she’s all donned in mime makeup and goes on and on about how turned on she gets looking at herself. Oh-Kay. Anyway, Matt also meets frumpy law student Tracy (Tuesday again) whom he likes but thinks is uh, err, frumpy (and he’s right). I mean, Reen wore MIME makeup, which is way hotter. While Matt attempts to learn about Reen and how she ended up all dead-like, these gay Mafioso types keep harassing him and breaking into his apartment and pulling guns on him and stuff. Apparently Reen left something behind and these guys are determined to get it. And it’s not the clap!
Continue reading ‘Not so Basic Instincts: Cover Story (1993) Movie Review’
Published by Greg September 27th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 90's.
“WARNING: EXTREME EROTIC HORROR!!” boasts the cover of this Polish sleaze-filled, zero budget, giallo/slasher curiosity. Someone like me (and most of my readers) who is always looking for something different, entertaining and challenging, how could I not pick this up right away? Well, mostly due to my unfamiliarity with it. I have been seeing it, as well as its subsequent sequels, on different genre DVD websites for a couple of years but never pulled the trigger until now. The cover looks as lurid and boundary pushing as anything I have ever seen. And after reading the synopsis, I just had to see it.
Kai (Wong) is in the midst of fucking his boss’s wife when he is interrupted by said boss and promptly reprimanded… or humiliated, whatever… tomayto, tomahto. Anywho, this enrages Kai and he kills everyone in sight and if they have a vagina, he rapes them. 10 years later, he has escaped the Hong Kong authorities and is now living in Johannesburg, South Africa which, oddly, has a “China Town”. He works for a restaurant owner and his cunty wife who take advantage of their knowledge of his “situation” by underpaying him and generally mistreating him.
Satan and Moronic Mark throw us a curveball this week by reviewing the never released, Roger Corman produced, Fantastic Four. It may not be a horror movie but it is pretty horrible.
Moronic Mark continues his quest to watch and review the worst movies ever made. Now he has to take his third dosage of Kansas City Missouri’s village idiot, Todd Sheets, with Todd’s film, SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH (a blantant SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA knockoff that’s actually financed by David DeCoteau).
Moronic Mark accidentially sold his soul to Satan, while drunkenly filling out applications to job postings on the internet. Now he has to watch and review the worst movies ever made and post up the results in his little webshow called “Satan’s Screener.” This Episode: Hellmaster - Video after the jump!
I like to think that I’m a pretty astute movie watcher. Even the most convoluted plots tend to make sense if you watch them intently enough. That is not the case when a movie is just plain shitty. When the story is secondary to say, gore, you had better ba-ring it (imagine me saying that with my pointer finger waving around and my neck making a circle with my head)!
Published by wil January 30th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 90's.
Wow, we used to watch a lot of crap in the 90’s, and I guess Swamp Thing: The Series was part of that category. If you wasted a lot of beautiful Saturday afternoons watching Small Wonder, or Evie Garland on Out of This World, or if you own the Saved by the Bell DVD box set, this may be for you. But be warned, >i>Swamp Thing: The Series is really only for serious crap hunters, because this is truly a test for even the best of us.
The story follows Ana (played wonderfully by the beautiful Francesca Neri) as a sharp shooter performing in the circus. She falls in love with a journalist named Marcos (Antonio Banderas). After a brutal rape and several murders later, she finds herself on the run with Marcos chasing after her.
This has a seemingly convoluted plot. Carter (et al., played exceptionally well by John Lithgow) begins to grow strange when he learns that his wife is having an affair with her ex.
Ice from the Sun (1999)
Directed by Eric Stanze
(N/R), 120 mins
Review by - Molly Celaschi
Uhhh…I guess it is about a man named “The Presence” that rules an alternate universe between Heaven and Hell encased in “ice from the sun” (not making this up). A suicide victim named Allison is hired as an assassin to hunt [...]
Savage Harvest
Directed by Eric Stanze
71 Mins
Review By Molly Celaschi
This is about, well, I am not sure exactly. I think a group of kids decide to camp near a lake where a Native American tribe elder was doing voodoo, got lynched, and buried in a water hole. They somehow conjure up some demons, a portal to [...]
