Cavegirl (1985)
Sure this is a romantic-comedy and has nothing to do with horror. So why am I talking about it? Because it’s Another USA Up All Night “classic”, it has Michelle Bauer naked and I’m really fucking bored.
Nobody likes the nerdy Rex (Daniel Roebuck of Dudes, Disorganized Crime, Bubba Ho-Tep, plus a shitload of other stuff), not even Michelle Bauer’s naked boobs like him. Poor guy. Anyway, his archeology class (they have those in high school?) goes on a field trip to a mine shaft that somehow transports him back to the Stone Age. Oh wait, he was fondeling some magic crystals and I think maybe got shot by a missle? Doesn’t matter.
He exits the mine and soon runs into some silly cave-people who don’t like him either. The Cavegirl, is played by Cynthia Thompson (Tomboy, Traci Lords Not of this Earth). Her film career wasn’t very extensive which is a shame cause she’s so damn hot. Anyway, the Cavegirl, Eba discovers Rex sleeping and I guess is facinated by his 80s clothing.
Continue reading ‘Chris Short Takes: Cavegirl (1985) & Hundra (1983)’
A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from Molly asking me if I would be interested in reviewing a fucked up movie called CALAMITY OF SNAKES that a friend of HYB’s was distributing. She even assured me that it would be a really fun movie to watch while drunk or high.
an, I’m almost offended no one here at Horror Yearbook has reviewed this classic yet! This is one of the best treasures the 80’s gave us and so much better than the original, if you ask me! USA Up All Night used to play this all the time when I was a teenager, but when that show went off the air and we eventually entered the era of DVDs, Mary-Lou became a distant memory.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you killed your mother’s abusive boyfriend in front of a mirror, then twenty years later broke that mirror, reassembled it, bled on it, and hung it up in your kitchen? If so, then “The Boogeyman” has the answer for you!
Welcome to a time when movies had songs written exclusively to use the title in the chorus, nurses were sexy and smoked in the hospital hallways, and the host of a New Year’s Eve New Wave countdown show could be in her mid-40’s and still hip! Welcome to New Year’s Evil!
Published by Greg December 3rd, 2007
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 80's.
Mad Scientist, Dr. Pretorius and his assistant, Dr. Tillinghast (Combs) have invented a machine called the Resonator. The machine creates vibrations that stimulate the pineal gland. The gland grows to abnormal size and gives you a sixth sense that allows sight into another dimension (as well as making you a horny bastard) and the creatures and monsters that inhabit it. But they can also see you and they aren’t very nice.
Published by Greg November 27th, 2007
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 80's.
Gather around the boob tube, it’s a reunion of the cast from Porno Holocaust and this time they invited the stunning Laura Gemser! OK, technically Porno came out after Erotic, but you get my drift. D’Amato has brought together the gang for, well, basically the same movie as last time
Published by wil November 27th, 2007
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 80's.
A while back (depending on when you read this) Charles Band and his company Full Moon made a comeback, offering a variety of great and long sought after merchandise, including the discontinued Puppet Master box set, the never before released Subspeices box set, and the long overdo Trancers box set.
[Editor's Note: Because I am a drunk idiot and called Roy - Ray in our Street Trash 2 article (Read Here), and Roy pointed out we have never reviewed any of his films, Brain Hammer came to my rescue. So here it is BRAIN HAMMER REVIEWS STREET TRASH!]
From the tender young age of nine up until fifteen I went through a lot of changes; everything from the sound of my voice to my tastes in music fluctuated wildly throughout those six formative years. In spite of all the changes I experienced one thing remained the same, which was the giant “Monster Squad” poster that was posted in a place of honor on the wall facing my bed.
Originally released during the fall off 1985, “Re-Animator” took the horror world by storm and made icons out of its star Jeffrey Combs and its director Stuart Gordon. The plot of “Re-Animator” is loosely based on sci-fi horror writer H.P. Lovecraft’s cheesy “Herbert West: Re-Animator” magazine serials that were written as a parody of Mary Shelly’s “Frankenstein.”
Vincent Price plays a librarian whose niece is executed for a string of murders. When a journalist comes to investigate, he tells her stories of the haunted town of Oldfield and its connection to the murders. Each of the 4 stories appear in their own clever segments featuring…
[Editor's Note: You would think this was the greatest review ever written since Molly bugged me two weeks straight to post it. So here it is, Molly Celaschi's review of the classic film "Savage Streets." Now leave me alone!]
Jane, a local news anchor, has realized that her neighbor is the rapist/ serial killer that she has been reporting on nightly. Jane goes on a one woman mission to hunt him down before he can get to her and her deaf-blind sister she takes care of. When her lawyer boyfriend refuses to help, she is on her own. Jane starts playing phone games with the killer and turns the tables on him…
A group of scientists researching cancer treatments unintentionally kills the daughter of a voodoo priest. The priest hopes to get his daughter back by opening the third gate of Hell. Fast paced, fun action ensues as demonic zombies are unleashed. A group of mercenaries arrive to add to the fun, which leads to a downbeat ending. Why? Because there is a Zombie 5!
