Gory greetings! Your old pal Brain Hammer is back with another batch of Brain Hammer approved PICKS FROM THE CRYPT. This time around I’m throwing the spotlight on a terrible trio of criminally underrated backwoods bloodbaths from the early days of the 80’s horror craze. LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!
MOTHER’S DAY (1980)
Buy Mother’s Day Here
http://imdb.com/title/tt0081186
This holiday favorite begins inside a rather tatty looking self help meeting. After the graduation ceremony a young couple bums a ride home from a sweet looking old lady. The shady acting couple seem to have sinister intentions, and when the old woman’s car suddenly breaks down on a lonely stretch of road in the woods her imminent demise seems inevitable. Suddenly a pair of masked psychopaths show up and attack the couple. They swiftly decapitate the dude sitting in the backseat and then violently assault the girl on the roof of the car. Then things take a turn for the bizarre when the old woman joins in. She strangles the girl and then congratulates the killers for a job well done. The psychos are the demented old woman’s sons - Ike & Addley, and they have made their mother very proud!
As the opening credits roll we take a trip down memory lane with a tasty trio of wacky prank pulling college roommates that call themselves the rat pack. We then get to spend a little time with each of the girls all grown up after college. Trina is a pool party throwing high roller enjoying the fast life in Beverly Hills, Abbey is a mousy loser suffering under her sick and dying mother’s oppression in a tiny apartment in Chicago, and Jackie is a spineless slut constantly being taken advantage of by men in the Big Apple. The girls had made a vow to stay friends forever and reunite once a year for a mystery weekend where they meet at a different place chosen by that year’s leader.
Continue reading ‘Brain Hammer’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT VOL. 37: Brutal Backwoods Butchery!!!’
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Your old pal Brain Hammer is back from the grave with my latest edition of PICKS FROM THE CRYPT. This time around I’ve selected three of my very favorite flicks featuring a lunatic on a psychotic killing spree. These classics are often overlooked by horror fans and deserve a larger audience. Best of all, all three of these flicks are available on dvd and can easily be found for a reasonable price. LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Actress Kim Richards is one of the sexiest chicks I’ve ever seen. She’s become my ultimate time machine fantasy. I want to take a time machine back to 1984, find Kim Richards on the set of MEATBALLS II and fuck her brains out!
Gory greetings! Welcome to a very special edition of Brain Hammer’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT. This week’s PICKS are a terrible trio of cult classic 80’s exploitation flicks from the notorious Spanish writer, producer, and director Juan Piquer Simon. Juan grew up raised on a diet of classic American cinema in his native Spain and considers himself an adamant fan of fantasy, thriller and horror films. Juan Piquer Simon’s efforts are infamous for being so bad, that they’re actually good. Simon has even been called the Spanish answer to Ed Wood.
I’m a huge fan of his flicks, especially the ones featured in this column. Something about the horrible dubbing, the incoherent editing, the incomprehensible plots, the tacky synthesized music; it all adds up to create pure movie magic! For all of their many, many faults, Simon’s flicks are hysterically funny and entertaining as Hell. They also deliver the goods in the splatter and sleaze departments, with plenty of scenes of flesh ripping ferocity. In honor of the one and only Juan Piquer Simon, LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings! This latest edition of PICKS FROM THE CRYPT features a terrible trio of cult classic 80’s horror flicks that boldly go where Ridley Scott had already went in ‘79. I’m talking OUTER SPACE baby! Well, not really outer space because that would cost too much money. In these flicks the ghastly alien horrors of outer space come to Earth and wreck havoc on humanity. LET THE CHEST BURSTING BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Brain Hammer’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT Vol. 32: Hardware Holocaust!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of hardcore hardware hack ‘em ups that all feature plentiful scenes of power tools piercing flesh. LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are three of my all time favorite 80’s slasher flicks. All three flicks feature eye popping and mind blowing special effects from the legendary Tom Savini.
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Your old pal Brain Hammer is back from the grave with my 30th installment of Brain Hammer’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT. Big thanks to everyone who has read my demented ramblings in the past 29 columns and kept coming back for more. The highlight of PFTC for me so far has to be the time that none other than Herschell Gordon Lewis himself called my review of Blood Feast remarkable and astute. I’m still patting myself on the back over that one!
Gory greetings! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrifying trio of underrated horror flicks from the dying days of the 80’s horror craze. These three flicks are often overlooked when discussing 80’s horror for some reason, and all three are personal favorites of mine. Best of all, all three of these horror classics are available on dvd and can be easily found for a reasonable price. LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of classic 80’s horror flicks that all take place within the cozy corporate confines of everybody’s favorite hang out spot – the shopping mall! (and a furniture store!) These sloppy shopping sprees don’t just cause massive credit card bills, they also quickly rack up staggering body counts. Prices aren’t the only things being slashed… LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of incredibly bizarre 70’s horror flicks that are often overlooked by horror fans. These fucked up flicks are so overlooked in fact that I’ve actually encountered more than a few people who had already had them in their collection and didn’t even know it! All three of these obscure horror gems are widely available on dvd, either by themselves or included in reasonably priced collectors sets. It’s time to give these flicks the attention they deserve. LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Ever since “28 Days Later” and the running zombies of the “Dawn Of The Dead” remake came on the scene there’s been a raging debate as to what is a zombie and what isn’t. I look at it like this: if it isn’t a walking corpse – it isn’t a zombie. Speaking of zombies, this week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of hardcore horror favorites from 1980 that are often mislabeled as zombie flicks despite the fact that there are no living dead in any of them. Prepare yourself for a walking, living nightmare and LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Seasons beatings horroryearbook alumni! This special holiday edition of PICKS FROM THE CRYPT features a fearsome foursome of festive fright flicks that all feature a murderous old Saint Nick killer. HO! HO! HO! LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of old school horror flicks that all feature heaping helpings of cannibal gluttony. I hope you’re hungry! LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of high school hack ‘em ups. We can all relate to how bad high school sucks, and these fantastic flicks should more than satisfy anyone’s thirst for classroom carnage! LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN…
