I’ll keep this review short and sweet. No need for an elaborate synopsis here, if you’ve already seen a NOES flick in your lifetime you know exactly what to expect. 1, 2, Freddy’s coming for you…
You know what I always thought was missing from the original Nightmare On Elm Street? A bunch of pasty teenage boys in black banana smugglers. Fortunately the good folks at Platinum Dunes are on the same page as me. The casting of a mush mouthed, liver lipped dead ringer for the fag from Twilight was another inspired choice. I dare anyone to watch the big reveal of Freddy’s back story without pissing themselves laughing at this dork standing in the background in his bikini. This movie is slightly less gay than Freddy’s Revenge, but is just a touch gayer than two guys blowing three guys.
The other thing missing from the original Elm Street was the internet. Now that we have the internet, no one needs to bother writing a decent script anymore. Just have your characters go online and do a little research instead. Did you know one crack at a search engine would reveal all the details of your former classmate’s deaths? Neither did I. But this is 2010, and no horror film would be complete without our hero watching a “video blog” that ends with a lame attempt at a jump scare.
Continue reading ‘The Brain Hammer review of A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)’
Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! This latest batch of Brain Hammer approved PICKS FROM THE CRYPT are a terrible trio of hardcore exploitation favorites. Three classic genre flicks filled with racism, violence, rape, & most importantly: REVENGE! I love flicks where lots of scumbags get wasted, especially when they really have it coming – and these are three of the very best! Fuck turning the other cheek! LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
Picking up from last week’s episode, Stefan is locked away by Elena and Damon, forcing him to give up the human blood he has become so addicted to. Stefan becomes so consumed with guilt, over everyone he has hurt over the past century that he decides that he shouldn’t even attempt to go on living.
Published by wil April 29th, 2010
in NEWS.
Horror Yearbook’s official A Nightmare on Elm Street review (by our very own Brain Hammer –the only opinion that matters!) will be published sometime this weekend, but until then what are the top critics and the blogosphere saying about Elm Street? Nightmareonelmstreetmovie.com is keeping track for you and so far the results are not so great!
“NOES is more likely to put you to sleep than keep you awake!” — Aint it Cool News
While George Romero is busy burying his own legacy, and Eli Roth is busy collecting STDs with Peaches Geldof, Christopher Smith, is becoming one of HYB’s favorite horror directors. Smith’s last three films Creep, Severence and Triangle are highly recommended for all HYB readers!
Below is the trailer for his latest film, Black Death. Thanks to Bloody Disgusting for getting their head out of Platinum Dunes’ ass long enough to upload this on the interwebs! “Set in an apocalyptic medieval world, Death details the story of a band of brothers whose quest is to hunt down a necromancer against the backdrop of the first outbreak of bubonic plague in England.”
Alec Tuckman does a wonderful job combining genres in a horror film that deals with some dramatic elements as well. The relationship between parent and child is strained by this new life in a new town, with a new father. The fact that these are regular people living in a Hollywood town is also refreshing as I also live in a very tourist-friendly area.
Published by wil April 29th, 2010
in DVD/Blu-ray RELEASES.
The long-awaited Dark Night Of The Scarecrow DVD is now available for pre-order
on Amazon — the official release date is listed as September 28, 2010!
Published by wil April 27th, 2010
in CONTEST.
Horror Yearbook and Magnet Releasing invite you and a guest to a special advance screening of Survival of the Dead, followed by a Q&A with George Romero and a zombie walk prior to the event!
The screening takes place at the AMC Metreon (101 Fourth Street, 3rd Floor San Francisco) on May 13, 2010 at 7:30. Meet up for the zombie walk is at Justin Herman Plaza in San Francisco at 6:00 PM. Zombies with the best costumes will win guaranteed seats to the screening and Q&A.
Elena and Caroline are in the running for Miss Mystic Falls, essentially a beauty pageant for the girl who most embodies the spirit of community in Mystic Falls. Caroline is determined to win, but Elena nearly backs out. The only reason she goes through with it is it was very important to her mother. Even though Elena knows that she wasn’t her real mother she still wants to follow in her footsteps. Stefan agrees to be her date. He seems to be far more upbeat and optimistic lately. Elena assumes that this is just because he got past the cravings and is happy to get out of it alive.
Published by Kyle Krueger April 27th, 2010
in Secondhand Terror.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s your good friend Kyle Krueger, the bastard grandson of a hundred maniacs, bringing you another discarded wonder. And it goes by the name “Popcorn”.
Published by Moronic Mark April 27th, 2010
in NEWS.
Moronic Mark actually has a celebrity guest introducing today’s show! Yes, Ron Jeremy, a man who has been on “Family Guy”, The Surreal Life, alot of great Troma movies, and a couple of films that can be found at the back of the store, is on today’s show.
Transylmania will be available on DVD April 27th, 2010. Check out the trailer and special features below.
Stoked over the smokin’ Romanian hottie he’s meet online, an über-randy college student talks his dimwitted friends into joining him for a semester of beer, babes and bongs at what they think is a prestigious Transylvanian university.
Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre comes to DVD in May 2010 courtesy of E1 Entertainment and promises to be one of the most talked about horror releases of the year.
Directed by Julius Kemp (Wallpaper: An Erotic Love Story) and written by award winning novelist and lyricist Sjon Sigurdsson (Dancer In The Dark), the film stars old ‘Leatherface’ himself, Gunnar Hansen (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), as the ill-fated captain in charge of a tourist whale watching trip that takes a horrifying turn.
Twitch Film is making a big deal about Takao Nakano’s “gleefully trashy” flick Big Tits Zombie. You can check out the age restricted trailer below and follow the link above for more info!
Published by Moronic Mark April 19th, 2010
in NEWS.
Starring: The Barbarian Brothers, Don and David Paul (of Duh THE BARBARIANS and D.C. CAB), George Lazenby (HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE and the “Emmanuelle” tv series), 2 twin boys who make Zach and Cody look like Pacino and DeNiro, Mother Love (MR. NANNY) and poor poor Paul Bartel (EATING RAOUL) as restaurant guest.
