8 Films to Die For: Nightmare Man
Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
“Nightmare Man” is one of the worst low-budget horror films I’ve ever seen released by a “major” studio. It’s so poorly shot and lit that half the time I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. One could argue the fact that Lionsgate releases shitty, low-budget fare such as this to DVD on an almost weekly basis. The main difference here is that they choose to release this film for a minor theatrical run as part of the second After Dark Horrorfest that crept into theaters like a fart for a weekend last fall. “Nightmare Man” has no business whatsoever being shown on the big screen, let alone being labeled and promoted as one of the “8 Films to Die For.”
Ellen (Blythe Metz) Morris receives a mysterious demonic-looking tribal mask in the mail instead of the fertility mask she had ordered. Later that night she’s attacked and raped by a creature wearing the mask, or was it just a dream? Either way, she’s diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, and after her medication doesn’t help destroy hallucinations of her “Nightmare Man,” her husband decides to take her to a mental institution. On the way there the car runs out of gas, and after her husband leaves in search of fuel, the “Nightmare Man” returns to attack her once again. Running for her life through the forest, Ellen happens upon a cabin where two young couples are vacationing. She bursts in on their hot game of “Truth or Dare” to announce that there’s somebody in the woods trying to kill her. But is the “Nightmare Man” real, or is Ellen just as crazy as she sounds?
Continue reading ‘After Dark Horrorfest: Nightmare Man DVD Review’
Dead” is one of the most mediocre horror films I’ve ever seen. It takes no chances and never veers off the well-trodden path made by the thirty years of slasher movies that came before it. The intent of first-time filmmakers George Bessudo and Daniel P. Coughlin is fairly obvious: they wanted to create a “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” for this generation. Honestly, their endeavor was a success; the only problem is that “Lake Dead” mirror’s the shitty 2003 remake and not the original Tobe Hooper classic.
“The Deaths of Ian Stone” is a recipe of familiarity. It shamelessly takes the best parts of “Jacob’s Ladder,” “The Machinist,” and “Groundhog’s Day,” throws them into the garbage can, and then uses the leftovers to create an underwhelming cinematic meal. It’s an ambiguous film that never gives its viewers a chance to latch onto any of the characters. It makes every one of the many deaths that Ian Stone “lives” through utterly pointless for the audience. Who gives a shit if he’s going to die? You already know he’s going to be reborn again into another boring life.
When 2006’s “Crazy Eights” played in theaters last fall as one of the eight films picked to be part of the nationwide, second-annual After Dark Horrorfest, the movie was marketed as “The Big Chill” meets “Silent Hill.” And for once, the generally misleading folks who write such ad-copy bullshit were right. “Crazy Eights” is just as annoyingly whiney and over dramatic as “The Big Chill” and even more boring and devoid of plot than “Silent Hill.” I just don’t know why After Dark films paid somebody to make these comparisons. I thought they wanted people to pay to see their movies. Wait, they included the comparisons as a compliment?
Even though “Diary of the Dead” was made in 2007 and we’re only a month or so into 2008 I have to say that it’s my favorite horror film of the year (so far) and easily the most entertaining zombie flick to hit the screen in awhile. Honestly, if “Rambo” wasn’t so fucking brilliant in its excessive violence “Diary” would be my number one flick of 2008 with a bullet. Or perhaps I should say with an arrow.
Published by Tyler Shainline February 11th, 2008
in INTERVIEWS.
Robert Englund, the man who made “A Nightmare on Elm St.’s” Freddy Kruger a household name returns to directing for the first time in almost two decades with “Killer Pad.” The direct-to-DVD movie available from Lionsgate centers around three hapless losers who move into a sweet pad in the Hollywood Hills that just happens to be a direct portal to hell. Mr. Englund was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with Horror Yearbook’s Tyler Shainline about his latest directorial effort, “Star Wars” casting rumors, playing an upcoming “Spider-Man” villain, his television work, “Zombie Strippers” and whether or not he’ll return as Freddy in the upcoming Micheal Bay produced remake of “Elm St.”
Damn near twenty years ago “A Nightmare on Elm Street’s” Freddy Kruger AKA Robert Englund took a swipe at directing. His film, “976-EVIL” met with mixed reviews but went on to become legendary late night cable fodder. Englund decided to return for his sophomore effort behind the lens with “Killer Pad,” a decidedly sophomoric horror comedy that sadly fails as both a horror or a comedy film.
Published by Tyler Shainline February 8th, 2008
in NEWS.
According to rumors and various websites Robert England supposedly had no interest in being in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, but it turns out Moviehole and I were originally right (Read Here) in saying that Englund would probably reprise his role as Fredddy Krueger if asked.
It’s no great secret that anything bearing the stamp of Stephen King’s name has been a steaming pile of crap for almost two decades now. It could be a book (“Gerald’s Game,” “The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon”), a movie (“Dolores Claiborne,” “Dreamcatcher”), or a T.V. Series (“Kingdom Hospital,” “The Dead Zone”) either way it was a piece of shit.
Black Sheep” joins a growing list of disappointments for horror fans in 2007. At the top of the list is Rob Zombie’s dismal and unapologetically self righteous remake of “Halloween” followed closely by the much over hyped “Behind the Mask” and the shit trickles downhill from there.
“Ice Cream Man,” however, arrives from the director of such memorable films as “The Temp” and possibly the worst Stephen King adaptation of all time, “The Langoliers.” With a script adapted from a John Farris short story by the guy who wrote the two worst “Texas Chainsaw” films and the two worst “Critters” films, why would I have expected anything else?
Published by Tyler Shainline August 15th, 2007
in INTERVIEWS.
In honor of “The Monster Squad” (Read Our Monster Squad DVD Review Here) finally being released onto DVD, director Fred Dekker sat down to talk to me about making the “Squad” and his love letter to genre films “Night of the Creeps.” I also got him to reveal his favorite Universal Monster, who his favorite horror director is, the possibility of him helming an episode of “Masters of Horror,” what went wrong with “Robocop 3,” his first directorial project in almost 15 years, and when “Night of the Creeps” will finally be available on DVD! Check it out!
From the tender young age of nine up until fifteen I went through a lot of changes; everything from the sound of my voice to my tastes in music fluctuated wildly throughout those six formative years. In spite of all the changes I experienced one thing remained the same, which was the giant “Monster Squad” poster that was posted in a place of honor on the wall facing my bed.
Published by Tyler Shainline July 17th, 2007
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL).
“Re-Animator” director Stuart Gordon ha made a career for himself by developing his cinematic versions of the works from some of that all time greatest Science Fiction and Horror authors. He’s successfully adapted everything from H.P. Lovecraft (“From Beyond”), to Edgar Allen Poe (“Pit and the Pendulum”), to Ray Bradbury (“The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit”). Hell, Gordon even did a decent job bringing a David Mamet play (“Edmond”) to the screen. Never fearful of revisiting familiar themes (he’s done Lovecraft no less than four times) Gordon returns to the macabre world of Poe once again.
To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. The time I left a Tijuana bar shitfaced with a hooker showcasing an Adams apple bigger than mine led to a night full of disappointment. But at least the hooker still had two out of the three holes I was looking to pay for the use of. “Dead and Breakfast” didn’t have anything to offer me other than fond memories of the films it blatantly rapes during its eighty-eight minute run time.
