Granted, it’s not as stupid as that Narnia movie (any movie with a talking beaver unless it involves Kylie Ireland or Gianna Michaels should be expunged) or for those of you who stayed awake through it (and according to Box Office results not a lot of you did) Speed Racer, but it comes pretty close…

I didn’t think it was possible for writer/director/egomaniac M. Night Shyamalan to make a worse movie than his uneven sunken Lady in the Water, but I’m wrong. I’ve been wrong before and I’ll be wrong again before I shuffle off this mortal coil, but I didn’t want to be. I really Didn’t.

I liked The Sixth Sense a lot, and no I didn’t get that Bruce Willis was d—d back in ’99 when I saw it. I was too wrapped up in the story to be thinking twist…and I’m guessing you didn’t get it either. If you say you did you’re a lying motherhumper…OR, it was one of about 15 possibilities you threw out while you were watching it, and it just happened to be right. That doesn’t count either. Anyway, I like Unbreakable the more times I watch it (simply for Sam Jackson’s big-ass eyes and weird fro), and I liked Signs…the first time I saw it…

Continue reading ‘The Happening (2008) Movie Review’

Parks are closing down for the season, and that goes for our titular park, Grizzly park, so named because there are probably Grizzlies out and about… But before they can be closed, they have to be cleaned. They WILL be cleaned by juvenile delinquents forced to do community service.And it just so happens that a serial rapist/killer has escaped and killed the person about to transport said juvenile delinquents to Grizzly Park.

It’s 1988. An 80’s rock icon named Billy Jump (Stephen B. Thomas) accidentally gets killed in a fit of rock-star hysterics as the beer he’s drinking makes lethal contact with an electric guitar. And as we all know…beer and electricity don’t mix. Not with the human body anyway…