Once again Greg Baty of The Playground Movie Reviews finds another exploitation film worth a look!
Schoolgirl Report Vol.3: What Parents Find Unthinkable (1971)
aka Schulmädchen-Report 3: Was Eltern nicht mal ahnen
Oh, boy… if you are a fan of the smutty movies I review you are in for a treat with Schoolgirl Report. I haven’t seen the others in the series (I will remedy that soon) but if they are anything like this one, every exploitation fan should own them. The “teenage” sex, nudity, kink, depravity and perversion shown in this psuedo-documentary is astounding. No, it’s not “hardcore” porn. There is no penetration.
This is a “softcore” German skinflick the likes of which I have never seen. The narrator walks us through the stories of “teenage” (I put that word in quotes because I hope and pray that these girls were of age) girl sex stories that are supposed to be things that their parents would never believe. Following each story, they go to “man on the street” interviews with parents and teens alike to ask them their opinion of the story. Some are disgusted and some are titillated by the questions.
Buy Schoolgirl Report 2: What Keeps Parents Awake at
Continue reading Schoolgirl Report Vol.3: What Parents Find Unthinkable (Lots of great pictures NSFW)
Prelude: A man is given a taste test for a new mango energy drink. He loves it but maybe a little too much. The company has put too much of… something in it and it turns the dude into a hyperactive, murderous zombie gut-muncher!
A few years later: A new guy starts a job at Eco-Elixir, a once successful Earth-friendly energy drink company. He is a part of the street team whose job it is to go to events and promote the juice. He has all of these heady ideas about how he can help the company but doesn’t know that rival company Jock Juice is gunning for them. Everywhere that Eco-Elixir goes, Jock Juice follows and outdoes them.
While not really a horror film Greg Baty’s review of Joe D’Amato’s Nunsploitation flick “Images In a Convent” was just too good for me to pass up!
Soon a after a young woman named Isabella is forced to stay in a convent, weird and evil things begin to happen there. She rebels against the sisters by acting out sexually and starts planning her escape. Then, a man is found injured in the courtyard and is taken in by the sisterhood. He turns out to have plans of his own to defile each and every virgin in the church. An evil spirit tormenting and tempting all of the nuns with sexual desire shows up around the time the man was found. Could he be the human incarnation of the demon? Isabella plans on using the man to help her with her escape, but can she trust him?
hat comes to mind when you read the phrases “low budget”, “straight to DVD” or, my new favorite “shot on DV” about a horror movie? Don’t wanna guess? Fine, I’ll tell you what you think; contrived, badly written, badly acted cheese. And there are not many movies out there that will prove you wrong. Don’t misunderstand; I love low budget cheesy horror if it’s fun to watch. It’s when they take themselves too seriously that pisses me off and “Carver” does just that. I probably don’t even need to tell you the plot because you have seen it a ba-jillion times. But I like to torture people, so here it goes…
Dr. Viktor Vasilienko is a mad scientist who wants to punish “Capitalistic society” for their wrong-doings. He creates a serum called “The Rage” (I know, ironic, right?) to infect humans and turn them into flesh eating mutations. But during his experiments to try and create an antidote, he is attacked by one of his mutants and the monster escapes. After he escapes and dies he is eaten by vultures. The vultures turn into mutants and carriers of “The Rage”.
Published by Greg February 27th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 70's.
One day after dropping her new husband Francesco off at the airport, Virginia is overcome by visions of a murder while driving. The vision is of an old woman being buried in a wall of a home after she is killed. She doesn’t think much of it until the arrives at her husband’s villa which she plans to redecorate as a surprise while he is gone. When she arrives and looks around she begins to see objects in one of the rooms that was in her vision.
Neurotic scaredy-cat Victoria is invited to Paris by her fearless, free-spirit sister Carolyn (P!nk) to blow off some steam. She arrives exhausted and overwhelmed by the city but Carolyn wants to take her to an underground (literally) party straight away. The party is being held in the (in)famous underground ossuary beneath Paris that houses approximately 7 million dead bodies called, well, the Catacombs.
Published by Greg February 8th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 70's.
Three girls break down out in the middle of the desert on their way to Las Vegas for a gig at a casino. They are rescued by Andre who takes them back to his house to call for help. When they arrive the girls get curious after they see a cougar locked up in a cage next to a huge barn. So they go into the barn and see other girls chained to posts and desperate for help themselves. Andre finds the girls snooping and chains them up in the barn as well.
Deep in the jungle some explorers find and capture a very rare and deadly parasite. They are warned by a tribal witchdoctor of the danger but before they can heed the warning, the female of the group is attacked and the parasite invades her…um, vajinga. As the description on the DVD says, this scene is reminiscent of the first scene in Peter Jackson’s Brain Dead (aka Dead Alive). But I digress…
A group of American friends head off to Ireland to meet an old college chum to camp out under the stars and trip on some famous Irish mushrooms. Obviously you have your stoner, his hippie girlfriend, the pretty girl and her meathead boyfriend, the Irish guy and of course, the good girl who has never done drugs. Upon arrival they are told about what ‘shrooms to pick and what they look like. But only 2 of them were told which ones were EVIL!
Published by Greg January 27th, 2008
in MOVIE REVIEWS (ALL) and Movie Reviews 70's.
Harry Reems plays a no-named Vietnam Vet/rapist/serial killer with PTSD and suffers from flashbacks. Along with that comes his need to make up enemies and kill them as a way to deal with the pain. So, he uses his job at the local gas station to get girls’ addresses. Once he gets their info it’s on to the stalking, raping and finally the slashing. He uses the old “We don’t take cash here, I need a credit card along with your address for verification” bit… amateur.
Steelweb Studios and the “Carnal Morgue” brings you three tales from David Quitmeyer, the guy who brought you Slaughter Disk in their first volume of short films. They are presented in the unrated director’s cut.
By now everyone reading this should know what a grindhouse movie theater is and what kind of movies played there. You also probably already know that since Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s double feature Grindhouse, DVD companies have clamored to cash in on the newest genre buzzword. Which is ironic since Grindhouse was such a bust at the box office.
After toxic chemicals are dumped into a “lagoon” a team of science geeks from the local college are sent out to investigate the site. What they find is disgusting pollution, inbred rednecks, bloodthirsty humanoid fishes and *GULP* a shitty movie!
Oh look, it’s another group of hot teens in yet another haunted/possessed house! And check it out, the group dynamics are the same as every other movie; a sensible couple, a jock, a whore, a stoner and a nerdy guy! This has GOT to be good.
