Published by Andrew December 29th, 2009
in NEWS.
Top Horror Bitch of the Year: Leah Pipes as Jessica in Sorority Row:
What would a slasher movie be without it’s requisite bitch? For every virginal good girl there must be her opposite number, the yin to her yang. In recent years many under-qualified nouveau 90210 wannabes have attempted to make a name for themselves in the pantheon of horror bad girls by flatly delivering lines in Valley Girl-esque tones and stomping around in stiletto heels. They have tried to place their names beside such luminaries as Wendy in Prom Night, Barb in the original Black Christmas, and Gail Weathers in Scream. They have tried, and they have failed. Miserably. This year there was one actress who took an overstuffed, convoluted, who-dunnit mess of a remake and it worth the price of admission. She came , she saw, and she stole the movie from the bland final girl the way only a good bitch can. Her name is Leah Pipes, also known as Jessica from Sorority Row.
It’s not that she has the best lines (she does), it’s that she knows how to use them. Each one is a weapon of mass comedic destruction aimed at her counterparts and the audience. When she tells the corpse of one of her sorority sisters that she looks awful, she plays the moment to full effect, relishing the fact that Jessica actually means what she’s saying. She’s not trying to be funny; she’s just that big of a bitch. True mean girl snark comes from understanding the character enough to know why she is who she is; it takes more than an eye roll and a half-assed sneer. Bravo, Jessica, bravo. You were the only thing that kept me from asking for my ten bucks back.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you killed your mother’s abusive boyfriend in front of a mirror, then twenty years later broke that mirror, reassembled it, bled on it, and hung it up in your kitchen? If so, then “The Boogeyman” has the answer for you!
Welcome to a time when movies had songs written exclusively to use the title in the chorus, nurses were sexy and smoked in the hospital hallways, and the host of a New Year’s Eve New Wave countdown show could be in her mid-40’s and still hip! Welcome to New Year’s Evil!
Published by Andrew June 12th, 2007
in NEWS.
The New York Times published a piece yesterday claiming Hostel 2‘s weak opening put the nail in the coffin of the horror genre. The article cites the weak performance of Grindhouse, 28 Weeks Later, and most of last year’s horror releases as signs the genre is on it’s last legs, with Saw III the lone exception to the rule.
Published by Andrew January 9th, 2007
in NEWS.
Maybe it’s the gay in me, but I love movies, tv, or comics where there is a lone female warrior facing down an army, a monster, or any other bad guy or gal in her way. There is something more visually exciting about a woman shooting a machine gun, or brandishing a sword, than there is when a guy does it. They just look cuter (I think I just took all the air out of any feminist arguement I may have tried here).
It was entertaining, particularly because Jason Todd Ipson, the film’s director, keeps making the very hot Scot Davis run around without his shirt on. (Thanks for the shower scene too!) It was worth the money and effort I spent to see it.
Published by Andrew November 16th, 2006
in Horror BOOKS.
I haven’t cried while reading a book since the adaptation of ‘My Girl’ I read in the sixth grade (and I can’t believe I just admitted that). But ‘Cell’ took me there because I became so attatched to these characters and their mission.
Published by Andrew October 24th, 2006
in Horror BOOKS.
SEND TO MOBILE PHONE Review by Andrew Walsh I have a weakness for apocalyptic stories, which is probably why I love mostly everything zombie related. To paraphrase “28 Days Later,” when the living dead is involved “the end is really fucking nigh.” So, when I heard about Max Brook’s ‘World War Z,” I just had [...]
Published by Andrew October 24th, 2006
in NEWS.
I know it’s not the popular opinion. I know I will be crucified by the horror elite for saying this, but fast zombies kick slow zombies’ asses. They are far more frightening than the old school walkers. I refuse to base my opinion on the fact that slow zombies came first, or the bullshit explanation [...]
Published by Andrew October 8th, 2006
in Horror BOOKS.
Eyes Everywhere By Matthew Warner Review By Andrew Walsh “Eyes Everywhere” is the story of Charlie Fields, a young, married, father of two, who discovers that he is at the center of a huge government conspiracy. He is forced to question not only himself, but his co-workers, neighbors, wife, and even his own children. Set [...]
Jake West’s “Evil Aliens” is one of the most entertaining movies I have seen all year. It is pure fun from start to finish. There is no pretense, no “social commentary,” no “to hip for the room in-jokes.” It is simply a non-stop roller coaster of blood and guts. One of the many things I [...]
Published by Andrew September 15th, 2006
in NEWS.
Charles Band’s Second Annual, Live Full Moon Horror Road Show, San Francisco CA Sept 14, 2006 EXCLUSIVE 1st World REVIEW – Review By Andrew Walsh I have to say right off the bat I am new to the world of horror. Comics and sci-fi nonsense are more my specialty. If you want to know Buffy’s [...]
