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Directed by Tobe Hooper
Review by Tyler Shainline
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2″ was basically dead on arrival when it snuck into theaters in mid 1986. Could you blame it? “TCM 2″ had everything going against it: It was a pointless and dated sequel with a terribly distracting score and no big-name stars. Well, there was Dennis Hopper, fresh off “My Science Project.” Hmmm, I guess I stand by my previous statement. “TCM 2″ faded away into a coffin of obscurity along with two more sequels and a horrible remake fighting to hammer in the final nails. This was extremely unfortunate for “TCM 2″ belongs on the list of comedic horror-cult classics like “Evil Dead,” “Return of the Living Dead,” and “Dead Alive.” Perhaps if it had been released with the word “dead” in the title somebody would have taken notice.
The original films’ director, Tobe Hooper, returned to direct what would be his last great film before subjecting himself to a myriad of tepid television projects, like “Freddy´s Nightmares” and “Tales from the Crypt.” Whereas the first “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” went for horrific simplicity in both the gore and exposure of its villains, for the sequel Hooper dives headfirst into 80´s excess. Rather than repeat the brilliant patient pacing and slow revelations of its 1974 forefather that made you wait almost thirty minutes before unveiling its family of killers, “TCM2″ gives you Leatherface and gut-churning gore in the first three minutes and never slows down.
The film starts off with an opening monologue reminding us about the first movie, and informing us that Leatherface and company were never caught and that “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” has not stopped. It still haunts Texas today. This soliloquy is perhaps the only moment of the film presented with any amount of gravity. The remaining ninety-eight minutes running by with severed tongue placed firmly in cheek.
The original “Massacre” began with a 1970´s victim staple, “the cross-country traveling teens”; to keep the newer film relevant in the “me decade,” Hooper opts for the favorite cannon fodder of 80´s slasher films, arrogant yuppies! Two utterly unlikable lads get their Beemer into a chainsaw accident while on the phone with leggy local area DJ “Stretch” (Caroline Williams) in what has to be one of the most memorable chainsaw attacks ever captured on film. The investigation into the accident brings out Lieutenant ‘Lefty’ Enright (Dennis Hopper), who has been searching nearly thirteen years for the family that cut up his nephew Franklin. That’s right, horror’s ultimate wiener, the wheelchair-bound Franklin; and the uncle from the first film is out for revenge. Why anyone would want to do anything but thank Leatherface for the most appreciative film murder outside of Sofia Coppola´s end in “Godfather 3″ is beyond me, but that´s Lefty´s motivation, and Hopper eats it up with gusto.
While Hopper´s unrestrainable scenery chomping usually destroys films like “Waterworld,” “Super Mario Brothers,” or “Space Truckers” (has he been in a watchable film since “Blue Velvet”?), in “TCM2″ it actually helps propel the otherwise unrealistic Lefty character into the madness necessary to keep the movie on track. Lefty is visited at his hotel room by Stretch, who believes that her recording of the chainsaw vs. yuppie battle may help with his search for the killers. Lefty gets her to play the tape every hour on the hour as a “request” in order to bring out the killers. Lefty then visits the town chainsaw dealer in order to prepare for his assault. The scene with Hopper testing out giant chainsaws while the saw salesman giggles with childlike glee is possibly Hopper´s career-defining moment. When Hopper kicks the bucket I hope during that year´s Academy Awards required “death montage,” they pass on “Easy Rider” clips and go for shots from this scene. Hopper is all dressed up like a rhinestone cowboy from hell, complete with ten gallon hat, enormous pilot sunglasses, and armed with a six-foot chainsaw that he uses to attack a tree stump like it had the script to “Hoosiers 2″ hidden beneath its bark.
Although the first “Massacre” film was light on the killer family´s back story, this flick exposes a great and ingenious mythos that would go on to be completely ignored by the following sequels and remakes. It´s revealed that the Leatherface family surname is, in a stroke of sublime genius, “Sawyer,” and that Leatherface´s father Drayton (Jim Siedow, the only original cast member to return for the sequel) runs the family´s award-winning chili company. At the Texas/Oklahoma Chili Cook-off where Sawyer´s “The Last Round-Up Rolling Grill” is named the best chili manufacturer, Drayton is asked his secret. His reply: “I got a real good eye for prime meat; it runs in the family,” and if you need me to tell you where he gets his “prime meat,” then you´re reading the wrong review.
After spending an entire day playing Lefty´s “request” on the air, Stretch seemingly fails to bring out the killers and waits in an empty radio station for Lefty to return with more information or instructions. Instead she gets a visit from genre great Bill Mosley as Chop Top (who is presumed to be an updated version of the “hitchhiker” from the original film), along with his little brother, Leatherface. Hooper makes a fatal mistake in casting Bill Johnson as Leatherface, who brings none of the dynamic energy to the character that Gunnar Hansen created thirteen years prior. In fact, all of the movie´s slowest and least-interesting moments occur when Johnson´s Leatherface is on the screen. Luckily, Mosley´s Chop Top commands your attention every second he´s in a shot. Whether he´s screaming out epithets or simply scratching at the skin surrounding his metal-plated skull with the heated-up end of a wire coat hanger, Mosley takes the scene over and makes it his. As proven in Rob Zombie´s “The Devil´s Rejects,” the camera loves Mosley, and thankfully Hooper is not afraid to exploit that.
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Unfortunately, for every great scene involving Hopper, Siedow or Mosley, Hooper forces us to try and believe or even care about Johnson´s poor excuse for a Leatherface. Yeah we get it: Leatherface is a sexually dysfunctional man-child and the chainsaw is an extension of his penis. The idea is interesting but poorly executed by both Hooper and Johnson. You can simulate sex with all the oval-shaped tubs of ice and phallic chainsaws in the world, but you can´t make the audience care. With the exception of his final scene in a chainsaw battle versus Lefty, treat Leatherface as you would Liv Tyler´s Arwen from Peter Jackson´s “Lord of the Rings.” Whenever Arwen appeared on screen, you knew you were safe to make a dash for the toilet because nothing involving either the story or your interest was going to occur, and it only helps this film slightly that Leatherface is a little easier on the eyes than Steven Tyler´s horse-faced daughter.
Lefty finally reappears following Stretch, who herself has chased the Sawyer brothers back to their subterranean lair/butcher shop. The set designs are wonderful, from the “Fine Young Cannibals” and Beatles “butcher cover” posters adorning the radio station walls to the skeleton-filled Sawyer family lair to cases of Shiner Beer (which before the turn of the century was only available in Texas) reward repeat viewings. It wasn´t until recently that I noticed a skeleton riding a bomb ala “Dr. Strangelove” hung above the Sawyer family dinner table.
After being separated from Lefty by falling down a hole into the Sawyer´s hideout, Stretch has another painfully drawn-out encounter with Leatherface that ends with her at the dinner table to be turned into the main course. This leads to the reintroduction of another Sawyer family member featured in the original “Massacre,” Grandpa! Just as in the previous film, Grandpa is portrayed as the original and best killer of the family, only age has robbed him of his skills. Though the family still proclaims him a “one hit killer,” his weak arm needs more than a little help simply to knock out Stretch.
The final battle between the Sawyer´s and the tag team of Lefty and Stretch is nothing short of inspired. Leatherface finally reminds us of the character horror fans embraced years ago, and Hooper´s Lefty reminds us all that when you try to fight fire with fire, you usually end up getting burned. Full of dueling chainsaws, heaps of gore, and the unveiling of “Grandma,” the concluding moments of this film do not disappoint. While some viewers have complained about this film´s slightly abrupt ending, I thought it fit this film´s fast-paced momentum perfectly.
While Tobe Hooper went for the jugular in his original 1974 “Massacre,” he saws into the funny bone with his sequel. Perhaps it was the intentional and sometimes unintentional humor that kept fans from embracing this film upon its release, but the world of “splatstick” has broken wide open in the last ten years and it´s time to give this fun film its due. If you were willing to sit through Michael Bay´s snooze-inspiring 2003 “Texas Chainsaw” remake, then you owe it to yourself to give “TCM2″ a try; you´ve obviously got enough time on your hands.
7 out of 10 Severed Heads
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