THOSE DELICIOUS PSYCHO-BABES
By Patrick Green

We all have our favorite scream queens. From Jamie Lee Curtis, who went on to mainstream success, to Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, Debbie Rochon et al, who, God bless ‘em, stuck with our genre, often providing the only bright spot in otherwise dreary films. But what of those misunderstood souls on the other side of the knife? Psychotic chicks need love too, so here’s a scattered salute to the crazy bitches who have us cupping our crotches protectively while sometimes sending our hearts aflutter; a wistful reminiscence of memorable madwomen from across the filmscape.

Pamela Voorhees (played by Betsy Palmer) showed up in the original “Friday The Thirteenth” just in time to proclaim some tidy exposition just before doing battle with the feisty Adrienne King, eventually coming to a nasty end, and thus inspiring her legendary son to greater heights of gory glory. Palmer played her brief role to the bloody hilt, going from soothing to satanic in seconds flat.

Anybody remember “Urban Legend”? Me neither, except for the awesome Rebecca Gayheart going all bat-shit, sporting smeared eye make up and ranting about something or other in the final reel. Truly hot.

Going way back, Bette Davis set the standard for demented dames with “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” If this isn’t a horror film, it’s still a damn creepy one that should be required viewing for any actress cast as a loon. Just check out what’s under that delicious lunch platter Davis serves to sister Joan Crawford, and see if you can match that, ladies. Crawford got to take up the madness mantle in William Castle’s “Strait-Jacket”, swinging an axe, but not chopping wood if you get my meaning.

“Fatal Attraction” gets a nod, not only for the unrivaled insanity of Glenn Close as a jilted one night stand, but also for kick-starting the nineties suspense thriller cycle, which gave us dozens of nutty femmes, including Rebecca DeMornay in “The Hand That Rocks The Cradle” and “Never Talk To Strangers”, Drew Barrymore in “Poison Ivy” and the missing-in-action Alicia Silverstone in “The Crush”

A favorite on everyone’s list, “Carrie” gives us Piper Laurie in a scenery-chewing fanatic/psycho turn that will have you crossing the street when you see the local church ladies coming.

I would be seriously remiss if I failed to mention Isabelle Adjani’s mind-blowing role in the obscure 1981 art house flick “Possession”. Playing a seriously disturbed housewife, Adjani descends into even deeper madness over the course of the film, screaming her lungs out while secreting a strange milky substance in a train station, then making sweet love to a strange tentacled beast.

The absolute Queen would have to be none other than Alice Krige. Starting with a delicious turn as a calculating temptress/vengeful spirit in “Ghost Story”, Krige has been a psycho-lover’s dream. Krige appeared in the Stephen King adaptation “Sleepwalkers”, playing a murderous cat/human hybrid and proving that a corncob is indeed a weapon. As a scientist-turned-cyborg, Krige became the best part about “Star Trek: First Contact” becoming the Queen of the hive, replete with the pale flesh and skin tight attire popular among the borg and goth crowd. So effective was her performance that she would reprise the role in a pair of “Voyager” episodes. Her crowning achievement would have to be as Christabella, the leader of a fanatical religious cult in “Silent Hill.” After consigning Laurie Holden to a truly horrible fate, she would receive her comeuppance and then some, in what may be one of the most disturbing death scenes in a long while. In all these roles, Krige displays a dreamy-eyed complex madness that is fascinating and terrifying.

Hats off to all of you ladies of the lunatic fringe. See you in my nightmares.

Read all of Patrick Green’s articles and reviews at Grave Misgivings