I saw most of Party Line waaaaay back in the early 90s when it was first running on late night cable. I didn’t remember much except that Leif Garret wore a wedding dress (!) and people spoke on the phone to each other. Not much to go on, but since I’ve been walking down this lane of fragmented Cinemax memories, I decided to pick up a copy and give it a go.

Wow.

I mean wow in a good way. Like, I totally have a new appreciation for psychosexual thrillers from the 80s and 90s. It was strange time folks, people still tried to include a story in the midst of its tawdriness, and for the most part, a lot of these films weren’t as bad as some people would have you believe. Party Line is about a supposedly incestuous rich brother and sister who bide their time by hitting the club circuit and slaughtering whomever they can pick-up. The sister, Angelica (the awesome Greta Blackburn) lures horny men into her clutches with offers of real wild sex, then her brother Seth (Leif Garrett) shows up and slits their throat. He dons a red wig and takes no prisoners.

Enter Dan (Richard Hatch from the original Battlestar Galactica), who is a typical goes-against-all-the-rules-but-gets-the-job-done kind of cop. He just happens to be at the nite club where the latest murder happened. He’s all angry, but dude he just cares. He ends up being paired with Stacy (Shawn Weatherly looking divine), a by-the-book assistant in the D.A.’s office. And together they check out this awesome 80s club with a killer live band kicking out the great synth pop grooves. They actually encounter Seth who tries to give them false info to throw them off their game. Unfortunately, this blows up in his face when he’s asked to leave his info with an officer for further questioning. Whoops!

While all this evilness is going on, there’s a sixteen year old nymphet named Jennifer (Patricia Patts) who likes to call the “Party Line” while she’s babysitting. It’s so funny to see this precursor to internet chat rooms, which itself is now archaic. I like this idea better because you actually get a voice on the other line. I mean, not that I’ve done that or anything… Anyway, Jennifer is addicted to calling 976 numbers, so it’s not long before her lecherous employer, Mr. Simmons (Terence McGovern) wants a piece of Jen’s action. He calls the party line one night as she’s arranging a date with The Fireman, aka Seth. By the way, Jennifer goes by The Explorer, which disturbs me.
The next day, Seth shows up at a café with his requisite red suspenders and another party line listener approaches him as if she was The Explorer, much to Jennifer’s dismay. Then comes Mr. Simmons and the three soon leave to meet up with Angelica for a night of rough and weird sex. Things don’t go so well for the anonymous girl and Mr. Simmons and they end up in a field in Malibu all nekkid and dead and shit. Jennifer soon realizes she was just inches away from a madman and goes to Stacy to help catch the killer. I mean, someone needs to bring Mr. Simmons’ killer to justice. Right? Right? Oh, damn, I’m losing you…

Party Line rules. Aside from Leif in drag which would clinch any deal, the dynamics of his relationship with Angelica are amazing. It doesn’t take much to aggravate her and she’s always calling Seth a “Mama’s boy,” and slapping him. Personally, I think he kind of likes it. She totally rules the roost and when she’s not playing mind games or killing, she’s working out – and she works out a lot.

Unfortunately, Angelica is the smart one, so it really doesn’t take long for the shit to hit the fan. But c’mon, did you really want more than 90 minutes of transvestite Leif Garret slitting throats? Yeah, I wanted more too. This is a fun movie with good performances, featuring Richard Roundtree in a small role creating cinematic gold. I also thought Leif was perfect for the part with a very subdued appearance. The real star though is Greta Blackburn. She wears only the best late 80s gear and has the coolest frosted perm this side of Dynasty! She’s a complete delight and I think if this movie was just her slapping Leif for an hour and half, I’d love it all the same!

Party Line was directed by William Webb who also helmed the cruelly slandered The Banker with Robert Forster! Webb is obviously one stone cold genius.