For two decades now, The Toronto International Film Festival has provided an amazing venue for the horror genre with its Midnight Madness series. This year, TIFF’s Midnight Madness kicked off opening night with the most high profile movie in the history of the programme: Jennifer’s Body, penned by the academy award winning writer of Juno, Diablo Cody.

The film starts with a promising first twenty minutes in which I was completely uncertain as to where it was headed. I almost believed I was watching something I had never seen before, it was fast and confusing, and then Megan Fox was suddenly roaring and vomiting. But the build up has no payoff, it quickly devolves into watching high schoolers bicker and tamely experiment with sex in front of their Fall Out Boy posters. The film waits far too long to expose the secret to Jennifer’s oddities, and by the time the characters make the realization the viewer made an hour earlier, it is no longer interesting.

It also takes no time at all for Diablo Cody’s trademarked brand of dialogue to become the single most tedious and unbearable thing about the film. Like some great artists, she has invented her own lingo. Sadly, this lingo is retarded.

Jennifer’s Body is what must be the first real hipster horror film, taking the genre from the fans and contorting it into something trendy and obvious. It fully embraces the fad culture it should be making a mockery of, while entertaining some of the most blatant and obnoxious references to actual horror culture I have ever seen. At one point, completely out of the blue, a character asks “Is that my Evil Dead shirt?”, as if trying to impress the genre audience. I was not impressed. I was merely annoyed.

Body is like the movie I wanted to write when I was a freshman in high school, before I knew any better. But I grew up, and it seems Diablo Cody hasn’t.