I have a few problems. First, I chose a profession doing something I hate. Now I love horror movies and love the fact that I spend all my time talking about them on the Internet, but I hate movie reviews and interviews, which is a big part of HorrorYearbook.com. So why do I have my own horror website then? Well because I wanted to spend my time talking about them. I have all these great articles I want to write, ‘Women in Cages: My Love of Women in Prison Movies’, ‘The Top 10 Accidently Gay (or Not) Horror Movies’ and so on, but because I’m so busy running the site I never have time. That’s what I got writers for, but my two main writers don’t really write that often. One is so busy editing my stuff to make me look like I can actually write, he really doesn’t have time to write himself. He still does when he can and I appreciate that (and yes, I added that part because he will be editing this).
The rest of my staff are great, they work for free and keep me very well supplied with articles, reviews and interviews (Molly, Patrick & Shane, love ya all). So what does this mean, sometimes I’m forced to write reviews of movies myself, which leads me to my second problem…I tend to ramble about other crap then the actual movie I’m suppose to be reviewing. See now why I try not to write movie reviews? So once again, since I’m the only person to have seen the movie ‘Perfume,’ it’s up to me to try and review it. Wish me luck!
The people behind ‘After Dark Horrorfest’ are touting this as the scariest movie of 2006, and after seeing what they think are 8 films too scary for theaters you should know that claim holds no water. In my opinion the scariest movie of 2006 is ‘Jesus Camp,’ but that’s another review.
‘Perfume: The Story of a Murderer’ directed by Tom Tykwer (Run, Lola Run) based on Patrick Süskind’s novel ‘Das Perfum.’ Like most of Tykwer’s movies, ‘Perfume’ is pretty good and pretty too damn long. The story revolves around Jean-Baptiste Grenouille who was born with no odor himself but develops a superior olfactory sense. Which means he can smell real good!
He can smell things like copper, rocks, and things you and me can’t normally smell. One day he discovers one of the best smells known to man, a red-headed woman with small breasts. In a creepy attempt to smell her he breaks her neck, obviously killing her. He then realizes not all scents last forever, which sends him on a journey to make and preserve the perfect scent. A scent so perfect it can bring cities to ruin and still leave him time to get a soft-shoe in (If you get that reference, E-mail me, you deserve a prize).
Whatever the hell his name is starts working for Giuseppe Baldini, (Dustin Hoffman) a perfumer who’s career has taken a turn for the worst. Giuseppe promises to teach Jean-Baptiste how to preserve smell and in exchange Jean creates him lots of great new perfumes to sell in his failing perfume store. Not realizing Jean wants to preserve the odor of things like dead cats and concrete, Giuseppe has to send him somewhere else to learn the secret of the ancient art of distilling smells (I forget the term they use). That turns out to be just putting flowers in water and collecting their scent in animal fat. Soon Jean-Baptiste gets obsessed with another red-head (a rich one and you know how that always turns out) with small, cute, boobs and his adventure takes a turn towards the dark side. To preserve the smell of women, Jean-Baptiste must shave their heads, smear them in fat, then kill them, and he needs 13 to create his wonder perfume. He begins to terroize the town becoming one of the first serial killers of his time, but it’s all worth it, and trust me you’ll see why.
‘Perfume’ is not really as shocking as it may sound. The most shocking scene is Jean-Baptiste’s birth, where his mother thinks he’s just another still born and spits him out on the dirty floor of a fish market leaving him for dead. She is promptly hanged for this. This is the beginning of a long history where everybody who seems to get involved with Jean ends up dead. The movie is well shot, and well acted. Ben Whishaw (Layer Cake) who plays Jean-Baptiste is excellent, but as always the person who steals the show is John Hurt (Dogville) as the narrator. The man’s voice puts Morgan Freeman to shame in that department as his voice elevates every movie he narrates one step higher. Acutally, ‘Perfume’ drags a little during the parts that he is not involved in.
With all said and done I enjoyed ‘Perfume’ as that kind of movie that’s not your typical fare and only comes along once in a while. People who do not watch a lot of movies may rave about it, others who don’t like things on the darker side might not. And like I said, my only complaint is it dragged on a little too long, but for the most part it really is a breath of fresh air, pun intended.
