Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Your old pal Brain Hammer is another year older…and not a damned bit wiser. To celebrate my favorite holiday, I shall now post my review of the greatest birthday bloodletting of all time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)

http://imdb.com/title/tt0082498

Virgina is a promising student at an exclusive private school. Despite a troubled background, she even belongs to an obnoxious clique of snobby kids that consider themselves to be the cream of the school’s crop. Shortly before her 18th birthday her friends start turning up dead. To make things even more confusing (and trust me, things get very confusing!) Virgina still suffers from blackouts after a car accident she survived a year prior that took her mother’s life.

The bizarre blackouts seem to coincide with the violent murders, and Virgina begins to fear that she might be the killer. John will never eat shish kebab again. Steven will never ride a motorcycle again. Greg will never lift weights again. At the rate they are going there will be no left for Virgina’s party…alive. The pieces of the puzzle come together at Virgina’s birthday bash, which very quickly becomes the bloodiest party of the year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME is an exceptionally well done Canadian horror flick made by director J. Lee Thompson (10 To Midnight) and John Saxton right at the fevered peak of the slasher genre. This flick’s memorable ad campaign promised slasher fans “six of the most of the most bizarre murders you will ever see” and unlike a lot of other exploitation flicks of the era, this one makes good on its promise. The death scenes are all very inventive (and brutal!) and tightly edited for maximum impact. The “shish kebab” and “motorcycle” death scenes in particular are the stuff of legend for slasher enthusiasts. There are some DEADLY car stunts on display too. The sequences where the rich kids fuck around jumping their cars over a large drawbridge are really impressive, especially considering a stuntman broke his leg in the process!

This flick also delivers an above average amount of character development, as well as numerous plot twists that will keep you guessing throughout. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME is somewhat infamous amongst horror fans for it’s unpredictable twist ending, which comes almost entirely out of left field and makes little sense. It’s actually a dreaded triple twist, and say what you want about that being far fetched, it certainly is neither boring or predictable.

The Columbia dvd release of HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME is good, but could have better. For one thing the original soundtrack was tampered with. Second, the new dvd artwork is fucking horrendous! Why the powers that be at Columbia chose to replace the CLASSIC cover shot of the dude getting the business end of a shish kebab is beyond me. Sure, they included it as an insert, but that seems too little too late. The new cover with a stupid looking chick with green glowing eyes holding a birthday cake in front of a fucking CASTLE sucks! To make things worse, there are no bonus features of any sort. This is a bare bones release. Better than nothing I guess. On the plus side, the film looks great and is uncut, which is what I really care about.

All fans of the slasher genre should consider this flick mandatory viewing. I’ve seen more of these flicks than you could shake a stick at, and this one really stands out as one of the best, made with a cast and crew with considerable talents. It’s a bit overlong, and a bit confusing in places, but a very fun and original horror flick for sure. It also stands up very well to repeat viewings!

Do you DARE watch the death scenes from HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME?!?

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!