Carnivorous
Starring: Lauren Fain, Wes Brown, Louis Herthum, DMX
Directed By: Amir Vilinia
Written By: Evan Scott
Release: May 26, 2009
Grade: D+

Carnivorous isn’t a horror film to take seriously and wasn’t meant to be but it had the potential to be cheesy fun or just a horribly formulaic and ridiculous film. Sadly, the final product leans more towards the ladder. There really aren’t any funny moments here, not even in the sense that it’s “so bad it’s good”. Just about everything we see is void of any intelligence, especially from the stereotypical characters and the poorly written dialogue. It is clearly trying to rip off Anaconda, but it is just that; a rip off, nothing more.

When Alan Cade (Herthum) was young he stole an ancient writing device from a voodoo priest nearby. He uses this on his abusive father, which unleashes this monstrous creature with a massive snake body and a snappy crocodile mouth on him. Years later, Alan is happily married until a group of teenagers accidentally kill his wife in a car accident. To get revenge he draws with this voodoo tool again, promising that these teenagers will be the creature’s next victims. Some of the teens begin disappearing and the others realize that there is a dangerous creature out there that might be connected to what’s going on. However, they have no idea what they are dealing with until they come across Alan. Realizing what he has done, he tries to put a stop to the monster. So he goes to the voodoo priest’s grandson, Nick (DMX), for help. Nick has been desperate to kill the creature he calls, Lockjaw, for quite some time and agrees to help to take him down. However, once his victims have been drawn they are as good as dead.

The acting was pretty bad here overall. DMX has a much smaller role than all of the marketing of him as the star would suggest, but he actually does better than most. There is some cheesiness in some of his dialogue, but overall he is easy enough to accept in this role. Louis Herthum is the only other actor who gives a decent performance. All of the teenagers show no emotion and all the lines are delivered extremely flat, clearly just reciting words on a page. They are all very empty characters so I can see how it would be hard to bring anything real to them, but there are a few who clearly are supposed to be likeable and stronger characters, but this translation doesn’t really take place.

The script is really generic, but the one good point, and really the only positive aspect of the movie, is the back story we are given on Allen. During this, there is actually some realism and emotion. This is also one of the few points that feels at all inventive. It could have been more generic in how this creature came to life and in fact the movie didn’t even have to go in to its origins at all. However, it does and we see that Lockjaw doesn’t pick it’s victims, but is only following the orders it has been given to kill through drawings. This could have been taken even farther to suggest that the real killer impulse came from humanity and Lockjaw was simply the weapon. Unfortunately, it didn’t go in to this more, but it still is there. The back story with Allen gives justification since it was through a young boy who clearly didn’t understand the powers that this voodoo device possessed. He was scared in his own home and wanted a way to save his mother from feeling this too. However, once he grew up and used it, knowing what it would do, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that he would use it then be so desperate to stop it after he was the one who brought it back to life. The film could have been much better if more of the concentration would have been more inline with the material we are given early on.

Once we are in present day, the story line is extremely dull and something we’ve seen done better many times. It shows completely indecent people, many who likely deserve the fate they are about to get. The girl meant to be the one we are supposed to identify with and cheer for has terrible judgment and gives us far too many reasons to question here. The guy who is meant to save her from her misery, is a nerdy and timid guy who isn’t very brave at all. The two of them as our heroes makes for a pretty pathetic expected outcome. The dialogue is truly terrible here as it is completely unnatural and idiotic. The CGI and the monster itself aren’t anything special, but I have seen much worse in creature films. The ending is ridiculous and of course they have to end it with that wink, telling us yes they stopped the monster, but of course it will live on and the cycle will continue. The back story clearly wasn’t enough to save this film and overall it is very frustrating, foolish, and just another generic killer creature movie.