2008 may be remembered as the year the superhero film dominated, but for the horror genre it was the year that the zombie film made a comeback. Kick starting the reemerging of the walking dead flick this year was the man who originally defined the genre, George Romero, with his heavily politics-driven Diary of the Dead. 2008 also marked Troma founder Lloyd Kaufman’s return to the director’s chair, with his own political zombie satire Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. Ex-porn star Jenna Jameson starred in Zombie Strippers. The American’s remade the foreign zombie flick [REC] as Quarantine. And The Weinstein’s Dimension Extreme label cashed in on the zombie craze with Zombies Zombies Zombies, The Zombie Diaries, and Automaton Transfusion.
While it may have been a great year for zombie fans, the rest of the horror community found themselves having to work a little harder to find better horror films this year. The best horror films were not in theaters; they were in art houses, dollar theaters and on the DVD rental shelf. DVD distributor Dimension Extreme lead the pack bringing us great films like Inside, Teeth, and Rogue while Lionsgate left horror veteran Clive Barker pissed off at the handling of his film Midnight Meat Train by dropping it in second-ran theaters. Darren Lynn Bousman was equally bamboozled over the lack of support for his film Repo! The Genetic Opera, and even the shit farmers at After Dark Horror managed to deliver the well received Frontiere(s) while sparing us the agony of suffering through another one of their After Dark Horror-Poop-Fests.
Meanwhile, 2008 was a confusing time for theatrically released horror films again. The excellent post apocalyptic Doomsday and the wonderful horror film The Ruins both performed poorly at the box office, while Liv Tyler’s The Strangers and the Saw franchise struck gold for R-rated horror movies. However, the teen phenomenon Twilight broke box office records and a PG-13 in-name-only remake of Prom Night impressed with a $20,804,941 opening weekend. Making the R-rated/PG-rated horror debate an even playing field once again was the flop of The Haunting of Molly Hartley by showing that one can never really predict what movies will succeed or die, PG-13 or not.
So was 2008 a great, good or bad year for horror? It was like every year- full of surprises, disappointments, much debate and many ups-and-downs. One fan’s crap is someone else’s gold. And while aging horror fans try to hold onto to their favorite films and franchises, younger horror fans are christening the new horror classics� (Saw!?!). I can, however, say 2008 was a much different year from 2006 and 2007. There was no undebatable best film like The Descent and no tearing apart of the fans like with Hostel and Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake (Diary of the Dead?). It was a quieter year, one where a horror fan had to be just that, a fan, a fan willing to do a little dirty work to find their Top Ten Horror Movies of 2008.
So once again I offer you Horror Yearbook’s Top Ten Horror Movies of 2008. The list was voted by all of our writers and message board members, with me overseeing the final ten. Top ten list are always debatable, and none are ever right or really wrong. These are just the films that managed to impress our staff and community this year. I hope you enjoy it and here is to a great 2009 in horror!
– WIL Keiper
#1. Inside Buy Inside Here (Unrated)
It’s been a long time since a horror film actually made me lose my fucking mind. Thank you Inside. For reminding this cynical, desensitized old school horror fan how good it could feel. I’ve rarely turned my head away from a movie in disgust and felt that what I was seeing was too much even for me, until I I saw the final ten minutes of this movie. And it felt good. Not only is Inside the best horror film of the year it is, by a landslide, the best french horror film EVER, the best post modern slasher film in ages and it sports the single greatest female slasher in all of horror history. That’s right! Beatrice Dalle’s portrayal of The Woman, the evil, knife wielding psycho who terrorizes a fully pregnant mother over one very long Christmas Eve night, now sits firmly atop horror film history as the genre’s most frightening and relentlessly bloodthirsty villainess. Often, in slasher films especially, an audience secretly wants the villain to succeed. Not here. I couldn’t wait for somebody to kill this crazy bitch. All praise to directors Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, working with Bustillo’s original screenplay. The film is gorgeously shot and edited and awash in poetically composed images of blood and viscera. Thankfully the filmmakers kept their story simple and tight and resisted the urge to crap it all up for some bullshit psycho babble twist ending that would essentially ruin the entire movie. Go suck a baguette Haute Tension! This is how you do it. — Gary G.
#2. The Ruins Buy The Ruins Here (Unrated Edition)
After Inside, The RUINS is the second most squirm inducing movie of the year. You wouldn’t know it from it’s bullshit ad campaigns and the early reviews from pissed off critics who had to pay to see it because it wasn’t screened for them. Movie studios usually give this type of half-assed treatment to the latest crap fest starring Vin Deisel. Why such a well made, well acted film was given such shoddy release is a mystery. THE RUINS is a shocking, horrifying and emotionally draining film experience. The story goes like this; four college students on vacation make their way into the Mexican wilderness to visit some ancient ruins and end up…..well. the less you know about what happens to them the better. But, needless to say, these kids get fucked. Some critics voiced their displeasure with the fact that very little explanation was given to what the characters encounter. Um, well, pardon me, but I think, and I’m just guessing, but, come closer, I don’t want to shock you, but – I THINK THAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT. We, the audience, don’t know any more about the origins or back story of “the ruins” than the main characters do. Some smart asses also felt that the film’s “killer” was too silly to be believed and instantly dismissed it. Idiots. The ruins aren’t even the point. The point of the film, and the highly acclaimed novel by Scott Smith, is how these four normal, everyday young kids deal with a seemingly hopeless, life or death encounter with a horror that none of them understands. It’s a survivalist tale not unlike Deliverance. Will these kids step up and save themselves or will them succumb to paranoia and fear and rash decisions? Bravo to the talented cast of young actors who really bring home the feelings of terror and hopelessness the characters endure. At the screening I attended the audience was clearly shaken and disgusted. My Mexican vacation is now canceled. — Gary G.
#3. Quarantine Buy Quarantine Here
Quarantine has the unique honor of being not only one of the first remakes released in the US before the original film, but it also has the rare quality of being a remake that holds up well enough to the original. Many people have not seen it’s “predecessor” [REC], but they have seen the fast-paced action adventure Quarantine in theaters. This film is exciting and relevant- It is Cloverfield without the motion sickness and lame monster; it is Diary of the Dead without the sermons. And the best part is that there are no amazing characters; just regular people. The main girl is simply a beginning journalist with a great comradery with her cameraman. And with all the goofy stunts we pull at Horror Yearbook, this is something I can easily relate to. But minus the zombies. — Molly Celaschi
#4. Frontier(s) Buy Frontier(s) Here
This year we witnessed an intense explosion of French horror. In my eyes, Frontier(s) was the most brutal, interesting, and meaningful of these films. The film takes a dangerous state in France directly deriving from the reality of the country’s race riots in 2005 in to a very intelligent commentary on the subject. It would have been much easier to show this through a drama or documentary, but writer/director, Xavier Gens, chose horror to creatively expose the evils he saw. The film made me truly proud to be a horror fan it was everything that a horror film should be. The neo-nazi’s in the film are a representation of the French government. This choice was obvious with their idea of perfection needing to be dominant and with the French government’s lack of tolerance or very many rights of equality or freedom of expression. There was a fear of the police brutality especially given the anarchic state that was present and the neo-nazi’s are the ones who end up handing out that brutality on their behalf in the way of torture and imprisonment. By using such intense proportions of gore and intensity, it put in to perspective the severity of what went on and how threatening the government had been. Inside of all of this, are very complex and interesting characters, gruesome kills, high levels of tension, and a strength not just through the characters but through the film, the spot on writing, and a promising future of horror. It shows us that horror is a genre that can do good, even going beyond a viewing of the film, producing a bond and vital energy that we should feel whenever a movie is done right, as the brilliant Frontier(s) certainly is. — Kelsey Zukowski
#5. Cloverfield Buy Cloverfield Here
You never forget the first time you see Cloverfield. It is the monster movie for the 21st Century. The film’s greatest strength is that it is told from the victims’ point of view. The military and its failed efforts are only part of the story. The scientists do not figure in the film’s storyline at all. Remember in the great monster movies of the Fifties, a scientist or a military figure was the hero. In Cloverfield, we follow several characters as they try to escape New York City after a mysterious monster has attacked the city. Mass panic follows as everyone tries to evacuate the city. The scene on the Brooklyn Bridge remains one of the film’s most effective scenes. The sound effects are the film’s strongest asset. By using the camcorder footage as the way to tell the story, the film’s director, Matt Reeves, builds on what made The Blair Witch Project work so well in 1999. Yet Cloverfield has an added meaning because it is the perfect cinematic metaphor in the post-9/11 Age– the film captures the terror, chaos and fear of that infamous day better than any of the so-called political films that came before it. Above all, it is a terrific monster film– it truly scares you as you watch it. In an age where many would rather watch movies at home, on the computer or on handheld devices, Cloverfield remains the ultimate in communal movie going experience. I will never forget being in that crowded theater; all of us being frightened together because we never know the origins of the monster. He is never destroyed; he is always out there. Fear never takes a holiday. — Jerry Dennis
#6. Midnight Meat Train Buy The Midnight Meat Train Here
Was Midnight Meat Train great? Not really. Did it deserve a real theatrical release? That is debatable. What MMT is though, is an original horror movie; not another zombie flick, not a “throwback” and not another shaky-cam Blair Witch style movie with heavy social commentary. It was just a good horror flick adapted from one of the best horror author’s short stories, and in 2008 you couldn’t ask for much more than that. Oh yeah and it starred Brooke Shields. — Kevin Touch
#7. Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead Buy Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead Herre
Poultrygesit started production in 2006 but did not see a DVD release until 2008, and unlike Return to Sleepaway Camp it was well worth waiting for. It was an instant Troma classic joining the ranks of The Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet and Terror Firmer as one of Troma’s all time best. Lloyd Kaufman showed us once again he hasn’t lost his touch delivering one of the funniest, and smartest social satires we have seen this year. Like I said, “Screw Diary of the Dead because Poultrygeist is the political zombie movie to beat this year, and nobody did! — Wil Keiper
#8. Mother of Tears Buy Mother of Tears Here
I generally hate the phrase “instan classic” because it usually means (a) it’s not and (b) it was made with that intention and therefore too self-aware. Mother of Tears, however, is that rare film deserving of that title its got everything; naked witches, killer monkeys, lesbian psychics, demons helpful ghosts, a plot that makes absolutely no sense, and characters that have completely inappropriate responses to traumatic situations. What I love about this movie is you can tell Argento thought he was making something good and instead he made the most enjoyable fantastically awful movie I’ve seen all year. To top it all off, daddy actually films his daughter, leading lady Asia Argento, (who looks like HELL) NAKED IN THE SHOWER! — Andrew Walsh
*Note: Abdrew handed in his write-up on notebook paper written in cursive. He has truly lost his mind and has redefined HYB’s ghettoness.
#9. Gutterballs Buy Gutterballs Here
There have been a lot of horror films that claim to be throwbacks, but more often than not this is just used as a ploy to bring in viewers. Gutterballs more than any other film is a true throwback film. The movie looks and feels like an 80’s revenge slasher. Sure the characters could have used a little bit of work, but many of the slashers that this film is paying homage to had throwaway characters as well. Especially through those in the film that are impossible not to hate, it makes you crave their deaths and makes it all the more fun when we see their blood. The film adapts the theory that sluts and anyone engaging in sex for that matter must be the first to die. Gutterballs is very resourceful with its’ kills being at a bowling alley. There are pins shoved down throats followed by genitals being cut open, strangulation by bowling shoe laces, a face shoved in a hot ball waxer that severs a head with blazing hot metal that completely opens up the flesh of his head, and the bowling pin up the rapist for a taste of his own medicine. Nearly every one of the deaths includes a bowling pin in some twisted way. This fit’s the atmosphere perfectly, but it has a higher significance than this. It relates directly to the extensive and brutal rape scene at the beginning of the film. This scene is raw and difficult to watch, depicting the perfect tone for the horrors of rape. The pin is part of so many deaths because it represents revenge. Throughout the film we are given references to Sorority Babes of the Slime Bowl-O-Rama, Halloween, and Manic. Gutterballs is a great horror throwback that is an inventive and fun film. — Kelsey Zukowski
#10. Return to Sleepaway Camp Buy Return to Sleepaway Camp Here
Was the ten year wait for a fourth Sleepaway Camp worth it? Of course not, did you really think it would be? However, the fat and annoying Alan made this movie one of the most uncomfortable and hilarious watches of the year, helping him and Return sneak onto our top ten list for this year.
Why Strangers Should Have Made the List by Amanda By Night
Buy The Strangers Here
I just don’t understand the backlash against The Strangers, especially from the old-schoolers. I understand that its simplistic approach to the hot button topic of home invasion might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but from the creepy opening frames to the slow burn towards total chaos, The Strangers was a 70s horror film at heart. Yeah, it’s too flawed (those last few minutes – oy vey!) to lay among the ranks of similar movies like Last House on the Left or Torso, but it’s also the director, Bryan Bertino’s first film, and he almost knocks it right out of the park. As a straight horror story, it’s timeless and effective. As an experiment in sound it hits every note. And as a metaphor for the end of a relationship that was lived without meaning, The Strangers is an eerie portrait of the modern America’s self-important attitude towards everything and everyone around them. I can forgive the film its flaws when the outcome is a nail-biting and thoughtful mediation on a real fear. Give me true life terror over some lame wet ghost any day.
Brain Hammer’s DVD Release of the Year: Pieces
Buy Pieces Here
This was hands down the coolest dvd release of the year. No contest. I had been eagerly awaiting this release for ages and as expected, the good folks at Grindhouse Releasing did not disappoint. It may take them years to release the stuff that they promote, but the wait is always worth it. The special features for this two disc release include the original Spanish soundtrack with original score, never before seen in depth interviews with director Juan Piquer and star Paul L. Smith, and a massive gallery of stills and poster art. Add some especially gruesome cover art and packaging and you have a big fucking winner. Now if Grindhouse Releasing would hurry up an release An American Hippie In Israel my life would be complete! You can check out my review of Pieces here.
Best Not Horror But… Close Enough
Rambo
I’m sure I wasn’t the only one full of apprehension when Sly Stallone announced that he was making a return as Rambo in the fourth installment. I mean, isn’t this guy like 60 or something? Then that brilliant four minute trailer of guts, decapitations and things blowing up real good emerged, and I knew Sly was a man you couldn’t keep down. Luckily the trailer was just a taste of what the entire film had to offer and this newest sequel not only reignited one of the best action franchises of the 80s but it also brought home that we the audience were ripe for more organic action fare. Although there are some CGI effects, Stallone kept the violence looking as real as possible, which sometimes led to an uncomfortable viewing experience. I mean that in a good way! It might not fall under the genre of horror but there are enough horrific moments to make even the most world-weary fans happy. Now word on the street is that Sly is prepping for Rambo V and I for one can not wait. — Amanda by Night
Doomsday *No description
Punisher: War Zone *No description
Chris’ Horror Porn of the Year: Evil Head (Watch Trailer Here)
Biggest Asshole of 2008: Queen Cunt from Creation
Runner-Ups
Mehitobel Wilson
Calvin Lutrell
Moronic Mark’s Worst Movie(s) of the Year:
If you know me, you’ll probably know that I have a strange ability to sit through any crap movie. From the zero budget shot on shiteo crud of Todd Sheets to the computer graphics gone bad assembly line of the Sci Fi Channel (ironically, 10 years after canceling Mystery Science Theater 3000, the channel produces movies that could be viewable only with the assistance of a guy in overalls and puppets). But the worst of the year by far in the world of rotten to the core horror film crap of extraordinary magnitude (you have my gratitude (sorry bad habit)) comes from the big budget studios of La La Land. Like a latter day Kennedy, they took all their previous good fortune and well being and doved them into the water while date raping a party guest. They fucked it all up.
And it’s a tie!
And yes, they are both rated PG-13.
So the Worst movies of 2008 are:
Prom Night – Say what you want about the Day of the Dead remake that came out this year on direct to DVD (and believe me it’s horrible), at least it had zombies in it. Prom Nigth only has a prom night. It’s like the films director, Nelson McCormick, took a test audience of the original 1980 flick and the opposite of what they liked about that feature in order to make the in title only remake. Gone is the intriging revenge story of a childhood prank that went wrong and it’s replaced by Law and Order rip from the headlines wantabe plot with a killer teacher played by Kelly Bundy’s ex-husband who has a thing for Britanny Snow. Sure, the original Prom Night wasn’t a masterpiece by any streach of the imagination, but it deserved more than this shit pickle.
Twilight – Now I like Pretty in Pink and I like vampires, but I don’t want to watch Pretty in Pinkwith vampires. Did they come up with this dreck from a brainstorm session from the line to get in to the N.K.O.T.B. reunion concert. Jesus Jumping on a Pogo Stick this flick is a needless waste, but what gets me is that used tampon of a tampon movie is being watched by an endless mass of brain less backward fucktards that it makes my head hurts. It is so not a horror movie, but since it theoretically involves vampires, you know that anytime a dim-wit tries to pull a retrospect a half ass retrospect of horror images they’ll retardedly tack on images from this pansy of a flick.
These movies are approved by your grandmother, but never approved by me.
Random Quotes: The Best Quotes From 2008
“Is that an actual Pay Phone being used? I haven”t seen a working one of those in years. Kind of like Corey Haim, except the Pay phone has stayed in shape and people actually remember something a pay phone has done in the past 20 years.”
– Noel Penaflor from his review of The Haunting of Molly Hartley
“you fucking gay ass bitch sitting in ya mother’s basement looking like a fake egghead from the old batman shows have you looked at yourself in the mirror latley you skinny gay fuck!!!”
– Rakeem J.H. Lawrence (Director, Writer, Cinematographer, Producer, Editor, Composer, Visual Effects, Miscellaneous Crew, Make-Up Department, Costume Designer, Casting Director, Camera and Electrical Department of THE CRATE) responding to Moronic Mark”s Satan’s Screener review of his film.
“I have respect for [author] John Everson and unfortunately couldn’t publish: ‘most people who pick up a book titled ‘Sins of the Sirens’ roll their eyes and put it back down because they are sick of reading more erotic fiction written by fat, molested chicks.’”
– WIL Keiper responding to Mehitobel Wilson acting like a pretentious cunt.
“I wish to thank you, WIL, for opening Horror Yearbook to a film so borderline as CODEX ATANICUS. It proves that behind a great website there is always an open-minded brain.”
– Director Carlos Atanes (Codex Atanicus)
“You are a bitter, faggot. Suckadick. I’m sorry that I have millions of fans and 6 people read your shitty horror reviews… It’s a tough life…. I know… but Costco is accepting new applications and I might be able to put in a good word. This message is rated 7 out of 10 of your mother’s pussy flaps.”
– Andy Milonkis’ Response to Tyler Shainline ‘s Killer Pad Review
“Thanks for reading my review, that brings me up to 7 regular readers! You totally made my day! The people in my office loved your email! None of them knew who you were but they thought it was great. Good luck with your career!”
– Tyler’s response to Andy Milonkis
“is funny.. i knocked up a virgin & the only name i know her by is ‘that fat bitch’ “
– An everyday conversation with Chris Cooper (aka Murder Punk) and no he is not kidding!
“Homeland Security! This isn’t terrorism! These are snakes!”
– Tara Reid in Vipers
“I hate writing about dead people.”
– WIL’s response to Jerry Dennis on the Movie Geeks Unite Podcast in regards to the death of Charleton Heston
“Horror Yearbook is nothing but trouble! All the time!”
– Mr. Disgusting owner of Bloody Disgusting
“Can you get this guy off the phone, or I’ll hang up!”
– Mr. Disgusting on the Horror Movie Fan’s Podcast after WIL called in
“I officially want to rape Horror Yearbook now.”
– Opera Phantomess from the Repo! The Genetic Opera Message Board
THE QUOTE OF THE YEAR!
“is it worth the money?
does it blow you away like the other 4?
is their BLOOD?”
– From marilynmansonfan asking Horror Yearbook about SAW V
Horror Yearbook 2008 Highlights: — I meant to collect all of our highlights and milestones over the past year but I forgot, this is all I have. Did you notice most of them are about me? — WIL
Tyler Shainline breaks the news that Robert Englund would play Freddy Krueguer in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake if he had the chance, putting an end to many months of rumors and speculation. Unfortunately more people looked at Daniel Harris’ tits on Horror Yearbook in one day than read his Englund interview in one year!
Wil gets banned from all Fangoria conventions at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors in L.A..
WIL fights with Mr. Disgusting on Horror Movie Fans Radio.
Once again I thank my wonderful staff for all their hard work. HYB would be doo doo without you.
HYB Staff In no particular order
Amanda By Night
Molly Celaschi
Chris Cooper
Jerry Dennis
Gary Gaymon
Brain Hammer
Noel Penaflor
Tyler Shainline
Kelsey Zukowski
Moronic Mark
Andrew Walsh
Kevin Touch
Sarah Pullin
