Zombie Strippers has everything packed into its ninety four minute runtime that the title implies. It’s got copious amounts of great gore, enough big beautiful breasts to make Christina Applegate break down in tears, icons from the worlds of horror and porn, plus legitimately funny comedy. What more could a viewer want? Well, maybe a cohesive plot, convincing actors and a general sense of direction that doesn’t include ham fisted, obnoxiously redundant and outdated political satire so basic that it would make Mark Russell wince. Then again, anyone who picks up a film with the moniker Zombie Strippers expecting to see anything besides tits, ass and blood is lamer than this film’s attempt at political satire. Surprisingly enough, mixed in with the nipple rings, devoured genitalia and jabs at the outgoing Bush Administration (does he even have keys to the White House at this point?) is a surprisingly deft underlying feminist theme. Hidden behind blood drenched double d silicone implants of course.
In the near future G.W. is entering his fourth consecutive term in office when a secret government agency accidentally unleashes a chemical virus that reanimates the dead. Unlike most zombie causing toxins, this one reacts differently depending upon your gender. Men instantly go full zombie while women retain their identity and sanity all while gaining zombie related powers like super strength, agility and the nagging need to rip the flesh from the bones of the living a devour it. A team of Marines fail to isolate and contain the virus when one their own gets infected and escapes into the Rhino strip club. The first stripper to get infected is the club’s top girl Kat (Jenna Jameson) and after her initial zombified trip to the pole drives the audience into a frenzy all the girls want to “upgrade” to zombie status. Once word gets out that there’s something “special” about the dancers at the Rhino, attendance soars. Since the virus allows the girls to maintain their grip on humanity, they keep working; the only problem is that the patrons they’ve been feeding off return to life as mindless flesh craving zombies. The club’s owner Ian (Robert Englund) realizes the potential cash to be made and locks up the reanimated corpses of his former cliental in basement downstairs. Everything at the Rhino goes tits up though when Kat’s archnemisis Jeannie (Shamron Moore) attempts to out do the club’s top earner and inadvertently sets all the male zombies free for a fleshy climax that simply begs for a sequel.
Far too often a film with a handle as outrageous as Zombie Strippers”fails to make good on the promises made by their eye catching title and box art. There are two important factors that assist in making Zombie Strippers one of the rare films that actually exceeds title related expectations. The first and most important is Patrick Magee, one of the best effects creators emerging onto the horror scene today. The other is a cast of women who are actually willing to take of their clothes in front of the camera and remain nude for extended periods of time. Usually these exploitative films simply had some schmuck slap a great title onto a shit film and then the parties responsible simply shrug their shoulders when the actual product fails to resemble the film’s title in any way shape or form. But with Magee’s horrifically brilliant prosthetic effects mixed with some passable CGI work the zombie part of Zombie Strippers is effectively covered. The latter part is more than taken care of by a bevy of bloody beauties that seem more than happy to show off what god and Dr. 90210 gave them. To be fair though, outside of Jameson none of the women involved had ever pole danced before appearing in this film and it shows. You’re not going to find any spectacular stripper moves occurring onstage in Zombie Strippers. It’s mostly the standard gyrating, swinging around the pole and kind of flopping around on the floor like a sexually rambunctious fish out of water that one sees from most women that haven’t spent their lives picking up dollar bills nude while attempting to maintain some sort of dignity. But hey, at least they get naked every chance they get which is more than I can say for many actresses who take on stripper roles. Jessica Alba, these extended middle fingers are directed at you.
At its core, Zombie Strippers is a horror comedy and for all intensive purposes it succeeds on several levels. Sure it falls flat on its face when it tries to make any sort of political commentary, but the scenes featuring the custodian Paco (Carlos Medina) and Madame Blavatski (Carmit Levite) are amongst some of the funniest things I’ve seen this year. When Blavatski says goodbye to Paco with a, “Vaya con Ronnie James Dios” I damn near shit myself I was laughing so hard and it’s now become my favorite way to tell somebody adios. Even Jameson is funny in this flick, her timing is dead on and after her performance I would gladly watch her in a comedic film where she keeps her clothes on. Englund does a fine job as well, even if he simply does the over animated corny shtick he’s been doing for years since his Freddy job became somebody else’s nightmare.
Even though it’s by no means a smart film, Zombie Strippers does have an air of awareness and complexity not often found in the genre. I watched the film a few times with different groups of friends and both times the women who I expected to be harsh critics of the film enjoyed the hell out of it. While they guys that I watched it with dug the gore and boobies the women honed in on a pro feminism theme that completely went over our heads. In hindsight I recognize it but at the time I was transfixed but the pendulous bosoms on display and heads being ripped open like Pez dispensers. Get together with some friends that would enjoy a flick entitled Zombie Strippers, get your drink on, order a pizza and enjoy the nipple infused carnage.
7 out of 10 unexpected donkey sightings
