Every day millions of teenage girls sign onto the internet to; act like idiots on YouTube, socialize with their friends, and do whatever teenage girls do on the internet. Every day millions of perverts sign onto the internet onto to watch teenage girls on YouTube, talk to teenage girls on the internet, and do whatever else perverts do on the internet. I imagine keeping up on the latest teenage trends is tiring. You don’t want to get caught talking about Miley Cyrus dating Nick Jonas, because OMG that it so not true, Cyrus is a skank. Jonas is like dating Selina Gomez. U R so STUPID!
So its time to shelve your Harry Potter books, and read our quick guide on How to Pick Up Teenage Girls Using Twilight. Like the Anarchist Cook Book, just because we told you how to make a bomb doesn’t mean we think you should do it and use it to blow people up.
We’re kidding, this is just a quick guide to the new Twilight movie, but who else would be interested in something like this besides teenage girls and perverts? And I’m willing to bet we get more perverts than teen girls here at HYB!
Twilight 101:
Twilight the book (via wikipedia): Twilight is a young adult vampire novel written by author Stephenie Meyer, originally published in hardcover in 2005. It is the first book of the Twilight series, and introduces seventeen-year-old Isabella “Bella” Swan who moves from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington, and finds her life in danger when she falls in love with a vampire, Edward Cullen.
Twilight the movie(via wikipedia): Twilight is being adapted into a film by Summit Entertainment. The film is being directed by Catherine Hardwicke and stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson as protagonists Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen, respectively. The screenplay was adapted by Melissa Rosenberg. The movie is set to be released in North America on November 21, 2008
The Characters (via Filmgrenade.com)
Bella Swan – Played by Kristen Stewart — Isabella “Bella” Marie is the daughter of Charlie Swan and Renee Dwyer. Charlie and Renee were married at a very young age, and Bella was born soon after. After some time they divorced and Bella moved to Phoenix, Arizona with her mother. Bella’s mother eventually married a baseball player named Phil, and this made Bella feel like she was holding her mother back from living a good life. So she decided to move back to Forks, Washington with her father. Once she gets to Forks she meets and falls deeply in love with the a boy named Edward Cullen. She soon finds out that Edwards and his family are vampires but decides to stay with him where they continue to fall deeper for each other.
Edward Cullen – Played By Robert Pattinson — Edward Anthony Masen Cullen is the human son of Elizabeth and Edward Masen born on June 20, 1901 and died in 1918. Edward suffered from the Spanish Influenza when he was 17 years old. The only one who could save him was a mysterious young doctor named Carlisle Cullen. The only way to keep Edward alive was to transform him into a vampire. Both of Edward’s parents had eventually died from the Influenza pandemic. He was reborn and currently lives in Forks, Washington with his adoptive vampire family. His new parents Esme and Carlisle, and siblings Alice Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale and Jasper Hale.
Dr.Carlisle Cullen – Played By Peter Facinelli — Dr. Carlisle Cullen is a Vampire who is seen as a father figure to the Cullen family. He was born in the 1640’s and lead an attack on a group of Vampires. He crossed paths with one vampire and ended up getting bitten and turned into one himself. Carlisle hated being a vampire and tried to kill himself in many different ways and obviously failed every time. He became desperate and tried saving himself when he crossed paths with wild animals which he attacked. Carlisle discovered that he could survive off of animal blood instead of humans. Carlisle works in Forks hospital and no longer has a flavor for human blood. One day in the Early 1900s, he came across a teenager suffering from influenza and decided to save him because of his begging mother.
Esme Cullen – Played By Elizabeth Reaser — Esme Cullen is Carlisle’s wife and was once a human as well. Carlisle turned her after she attempted to commit suicide due to her sons death from a lung infection. She is the second person Carlisle turned and is a very loving person. She accepts Bella right away and is grateful for her being there for Edward. She is the adoptive mother to Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett.
Jasper Hale – Played By Jackson Rathbone — Jasper Whitlock also known as Jasper Hale to non-family was born in 1844. He was involved in the Civil War on the Confederate side at the age of 17, but he lied and said he was 20. He was quickly promoted to a Major and served during the 1st Battle of Galveston. While evacuating women and children he saw three women who turned out to be vampires (Nettie, Maria and Lucy). They decided that he would be a perfect member for their vampire army.
For the complete guide click here
