First and foremost it should be made known that this Death Race has almost nothing to do with the 1975 Roger Corman produced classic. Other than a handful of character names, the film’s title and the fact that there are cars involved there is little connecting this remake to the original. Truthfully, this race has more in common with video games like Mario Kart and Twisted Metal than it does with the black comedy it’s supposed to be a remake of. The original film was a hilarious commentary on the downward spiral of American culture where human life added up to little more than points on a scoreboard. This version of Death Race is more about cool people looking awesome while CGI effects occur all around them. Corman’s Race is a hilarious romp filled with outrageous car designs and over the top carnage. This Death Race courtesy of renowned hack Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, AVP, etc.) is stupid, pointless, heavy on the effects and nu metal soundtrack and light on plot or character development. In the end as retarded as it is, Anderson’s Death Race is a fun ride that is the poster boy for unapologetic mindless summer drivel. It may not be good, but damn its fun.
Death Race 2000 took place in a colorful future where gaudily glad contestants earned points for running down innocent civilians during a cross country race. This Death Race has a handful of uncharismatic prisoners identifiable only by their skin color trying to win five races in order to get set free. Whereas the original flick took place across the entire country this time around the race occurs within a self contained island with no innocents available to be used to generate a socore, just the finish line. All of the action and those involved are watched over by the ruthless Warden Hennessey. Unbeknownst to the general public the beloved masked driver Frankenstein was killed during a fiery finish in what was his fourth win. Fearing viewers would fail to tune in if they knew Frankie was dead Hennessey has former race car driver Jensen Ames (Jason Statham) framed for the murder of his wife. A few months later he ends up in her prison where she tells him that the only way that he will ever see his daughter again is if he takes over the mask and becomes the new Frankenstein. Of course he agrees (otherwise the movie would be over) and for the remaining hour of film time Statham does what he does best, drive fast, drop appropriate one liners and be an all around bad ass until the film’s obvious ending.
Every single one of the drivers opposite Statham’s Frankenstein is a stereotypical version of whatever race or creed they might align themselves with. Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson) is the black bad guy who says things like “‘fo ‘sho,” and “that is wack!” 14k (Robin Shou) is the Asian bad guy who he says things in subtitles, Hector Grimm (Robert LaSardo) is the Mexican bad guy who calls people “ese” and “puta” and so on. Sure there are other white guys besides Frankenstein but they’re broken down by region, there’s the Nazi, the white trash hillbilly, etc. There is absolutely no character development in the flick whatsoever which is a real shame considering the waste of talent available at Paul Anderson’s fingertips. Why bother casting Ian (Deadwood) McShane in the part of Coach if all you’re going to do is have him say bullshit lines like “What is he doing?” and “I hope you know what you’re doing.” He’s a great character actor that’s wasted on a limp role, the least Anderson could have done was let him call somebody a cocksucker.
The cars in Death Race 2000 were works of art that carried on the charismatic vision of the drivers themselves and looked like adult versions of the cars from Hanna Barbara’s Wacky Races. Calamity Jane drove a car shaped like a bull complete with sharpened horns on the front. Machine-Gun Joe Viterbo’s garb and his car reflected his mobster persona, Matilda the Hun and Herman the German drove around in a Nazi themed ride. Basically every character’s car was designed with the driver’s identity in mind. In this remake ever car looks alike, metal wielded to metal on top of more metal, other than the size of the automobile, little on the exterior distinguishes it from the others. But to be fair the cars (and their drivers) expire so fast that it doesn’t even matter, attention is given much more to what the rides look like while they’re exploding than to what they looked like intact.
This movie was not made for fans of Death Race 2000 it was made for fans of The Fast and the Furious and video games where driving over glowing circles arms your car with weapons or shields. There is not one original moment to be found in Death Race but with the constant barrage of explosions, popping heads and crushed limbs most movie goers will fail to notice. Given the rabid, unexpected applause that punctuated many of the death scenes during the screening I attended I doubt that more than a handful of the audience members even knew it was a remake. If you’re looking for a thought provoking commentary on the downward trend of American entertainment, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for a mindless, fun unregrettable waste of 89 minutes, strap on your seat belts and enjoy the ride. Paul W.S. Anderson might still be one of the worst working filmmakers on the planet but at least this time around he made a shitty film that entertains and yes Death Race is far better than the 2002 remake of Rollerball.
6 out of 10 Statistic spouting stuttering simpletons
