Gory greetings horroryearbook alumni! Welcome to the fourth (and most likely not last) edition of IT CAME FROM THE MAILBOX, an exciting new column where your old pal Brain Hammer reviews whatever random crap the gold folks at horroryearbook decide to send my way.

This time the mailbox was stuffed with a package full of goodies. The highlight was an advance copy of BRUTAL MASSACRE: A COMEDY, a new horror comedy that Anchor Bay Entertainment is promoting as an irreverent mockumentary about a horror film shoot from hell. The key word in the title is comedy. This is not a horror film, this is cheesy comedy all the way. BRUTAL MASSACRE boasts an all star cast of horror film legends, and is original for casting them all in comedic roles.

Former Dr.Pepper spokesperson, disco one hit wonder, and American werewolf in London David Naughton stars as Harry Penderecki, a notorious b-horror director attempting to jump start his stalling career. Harry has earned a spot in the horror hall of fame for his cult classics BOWEL MOVEMENT, SASQUATCH AT THE MALL, and the ill conceived first ever slasher flick for kids KILLER KOALA. Harry falls on hard times when his highly anticipated feature I’LL TAKE THE RING BACK AND YOUR FINGER TOO! flops at the box office. After a few misfires, including the feeble FISH WHO ATE FLESH, Harry manages a bit of a comeback from the international success of his film GARBAGE MAN when the Garbage Man thrash metal theme song becomes a smash hit in Germany.

Harry then teams up with a sleazy producer obsessed with titties and begins work on his big comeback film, the aptly titled BRUTAL MASSACRE. A documentary crew follows Harry as he stumbles his way through the incredibly troubled production. Harry’s partner in crime is his profane production manager Natalie. Natalie is played by Ellen Sandweiss, who is best known for taking a tree branch up her snizz in THE EVIL DEAD. I’m not sure what’s more degrading, being raped by a demon tree or being covered in poo and subjected to the ridicule of Brian O’Halloran. Brian is of course best known as Dante in CLERKS, and for some reason that guy really grates my nerves.

The film crew includes Gerry Bednob from THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN as a token comic relief Indian (no piece of shit comedy is complete without one!) and Ken Fucking Foree! It’s always great to see Ken in action. Ken’s character Carl isn’t quite the bad ass that Joe Grizzly was, but like Joe Grizzly we do get to see him take a shit. Directors obviously know that if you need a horror icon to take a shit, Ken Foree is the only man to call. Carl even tells a tender tale about shitting his pants on another shoot that could bring a tear to a glass eye. This film has an obsession with feces that is quite disturbing.

Speaking of disturbing, the one and only original Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen shows up and pretty much steals the show as the disgruntled and profane property owner Crenshaw. Old man Crenshaw (not to be confused by Old Man Crenshaw in BOGGY CREEK II) repeatedly tells the crew to do whatever the fuck they want to his place and even thoughtfully offers to play the killer. Crenshaw is clearly a sweet old man, but he also doesn’t hesitate to tell one of the pussy farts on the set that he could twist his head off and go bowling.

I got a few chuckles out of this one. Fangoria comparing this to SPINAL TAP is pretty fucking ridiculous, but easy to understand considering that the beginning of the film is one big ad for the magazine and their conventions that my drunken and shiftless editor Wil is such a fan of. I also found it highly amusing to read a raving online review written by a dude who appeared in the movie. Unlike those jokers, I can actually offer an honest and unbiased opinion.

That said, this flick is still pretty damned funny. Not quite a classic, but a I think horror fans with a sense of humor will dig this, and anyone who has suffered through the creation of a low budget horror film will certainly be in stitches. Best of all, there’s no shortage of naked titties. Hats off to writer and director Steven Mena for his wise decision to throw in plenty of titties to keep perverted viewers with short attention spans riveted.

BRUTAL MASSACRE: A COMEDY (not to be confused with Brutal Massacre: The Broadway Musical) is available on dvd thanks to the fine folks at Anchor Bay Entertainment. The dvd includes a behind the scenes feature, seventeen extended and deleted scenes, and the trailer. Brain Hammer approved.

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!

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