“The Strangers” is an absurdly inappropriate title for this film, a more apt name for this flick would have been “The Familiars.” There is not one original moment or scene in the entire ninety minute running time of “The Strangers.” Its basic concept is a complete rip off of the imported horror films, “Funny Games” and “Them.” Perhaps first time writer/director Bryan Bertino thought that the other films foreign origins would allow him to release this movie that borders upon plagiarism with little notice. Sure maybe only the horror fans that have an interest in internationally released flicks would notice, but the correlation between the movies isn’t the only familiar thing about it. “The Strangers” not only creates it’s foundation out of a mixture of the aforementioned Austrian and French films but goes on to build the rest of it’s script out of eternally lamented horror movie clichés. Characters make decisions that even a seven year old would scoff at, uses the “Based on A True Story” tagline even though it’s not, the couple that is terrorized has just broken up, etc. So far, “The Strangers” is the worst horror film I’ve seen in 2008.
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James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) and his girlfriend Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) arrive at the Hoyt family vacation home in an isolated rural area following a friend’s wedding. The couple is in the middle of an ambiguous fight over the fact that Kristen had just turned down James’s marriage proposal for reason that are never fully disclosed. Kristen realizes that she is out of cigarettes and James offers to take a solo drive at four in the morning in search of a pack for her. Just before leaving a strange girl shows up asking for “Tamara,” when she’s told that there’s no Tamara in the house she leaves. But shortly after that the girl returns with a couple of friends that essentially pull sadistic pranks on Kristen and James until the obvious ending happens that is neither shocking, satisfying or even remotely interesting. The film’s only interesting or redeemable moment occurs when Glenn Howerton from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” shows up, but sadly his appearance lasts only minutes and the film fails to recover from his absence.
“The Strangers” is not a film for well versed horror fans, it’s predictable, overflowing with false jump scares and has scenes that drag on for far to long. Compound that with its false “R” rating (this is a PG-13 film if I’ve ever seen one) and it’s unnecessarily hip and overused soundtrack and you have the perfect film for tween horror fans whose only knowledge of the genre is the “Scream” franchise. “The Strangers” is not a scary film, it has creepy moments but they are few and far between and end up being fairly repetitive. How many times can you watch a dork in a Slipknot mask tilt his head left to right while standing behind the heroine? I hope it’s more than three or four times, because that’s “The Strangers” version of scary, a fucking music video.
On the subject of masks, the ones used in this film were obviously crafted with the intent of releasing them for purchase this Halloween. It’s not that they’re particularly striking or original, it’s just that they’re memorable enough to be hung on the pegs between the Voorhees brand goalie masks and ghostface disguises at Walgreens this October. Another valid sign that “The Strangers” was a hack job and that it should have been dumped straight to DVD is the fact that it was supposed to be in theaters a year ago, but its release date kept getting pushed back without any real reason from either Universal Studios or Rogue Pictures. Perhaps they were afraid of the similarities between it and the American remake of “Funny Games,” but its far more likely that negative test audience reaction lead to it’s delay.
Finally, will you douche bag producers stop slapping “Based on a True Story” tagline on films that are not based on a true story? I could not find a single news report or any bit of information relating to any actual murders that paralleled the events that occurred at the Hoyt family’s vacation home at 1801 Clark Road on February 11, 2005. The closest I was able to dig up was the Keddie Cabin Murders which were vaguely similar but were carried out back in 1981. So listen you fuckwad movie makers, stop lying to the people that go see your movies by saying your shitty flicks are based on “True Stories.” It was alright for films like “The Texas Chain Saw Massacres” to do that back in the seventies, but nowadays it’s just annoying and stupid, plus nobody believes you.
Wait, I take that back. I overheard a woman at the screening discussing the film with her friend. I’ll attempt to phonetically replicate her statement. ,” Gurl, ya know dis shit s’ rueal, just like dat Leathyface guy. Yeah dat stuff at da end was da only evidense dey found, (referring to the TCM remake) he still out dere, dats scurry s’ fuck!” Later on when some of the rowdier attendees at the screening began clapping loudly for the movie to start she stood up at shouted” Ya all need to cut dat shit out, ya aint in church!” After the house lights went up, I asked her before she left if she enjoyed the movie. She said “hell yeah, it was ruel scary!” I asked her what was scary about it, to which she replied, “I dunno” and then she turned and walked away. That is the perfect representation of “The Strangers” target audience, and if you enjoyed the film, your peer.
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