The Janitor
Written and Directed by Andy Signore, Starring Andy Signore & TJ Nordaker

I sat myself down in front of the television to watch this flick with the anticipation of it being at least a little entertaining, and it was! But I’m still not sure if it was entertaining in a good way or a bad way.

The title alone had me a bit skeptical as to any seriousness of it, but reading the summary I assumed there’d be at least some seriousness. I’m not sure however, if the filmmakers were going for realism at all or if they were just tossing ideas around blindly and hoping the gore-chips landed in good places. It was funny though. Sometimes.

Moving along, the opening scenes were not at all enticing. Gross, would be a mild way of putting things as I saw no reason “The Janitor” (played by writer/director Andy Signore) was to get pissed on (literally) whilst cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush. Then it occurred to me, “Hey, this is setting the tone for The Janitor’s frustration and anger” Ok, it worked. Lionel, the bearded, throaty-voiced janitor, I mean “Custodian” (don’t call Lionel a janitor, it seems to really tick him off!) embarks on a bit of a tangent throughout the film but for the oddest reasons. Ok, maybe not the oddest reason, but just like every other janitor (apparently), Lionel is subjected to the daily disrespect all janitors endure. Do janitors really experience such disrespect? Personally, I don’t know, as I’ve never taken the time to really get to know any. They’re just so beneath me!

This begged the question, “If janitors really do suffer this lack of respect, perhaps it would indeed cause them to go off the deep-end?” This sets the tone for the story, and realistically, it actually does work. Shitty jobs warrant shitty remarks and comments from people who work better jobs, like that guy flipping your burger at McD’s when he tells you to “get a life.” But lets talk about the gore factor, and the fact that the acting in this flick was so bad that I asked myself if any portion of the film could be taken seriously to any degree.

In horror, there are rules that must adhered to when placing comedic undertones that allow the viewer to relax from a scene and chuckle, but what we’ve got here us failure to offer any genuinely laughable lines, outside of the bad gore and bad special effects that just beg to laughed at. I was in stitches through about 40% of this flick, and probably not where the writer would have liked me to be laughing either. What should have been funny was not, and what seemingly was supposed to be taken seriously, was laughed at. Was it the writer/director’s intention?

There were of course a handful of decent scenes that provided some degree of a real film. Lionel’s motivation for going out and ripping people’s arms off, lighting some dude on fire, and eventually turning his back on his only friend in the world, (another Custodian, of course, Mr. Growbo, played by TJ Nordaker) after accepting a job at a local sorority, and then being told on his first day that he in fact did not get the job led to the climax of the film that offered up some great tits and ass shots by some very sexy chicks, and let’s face it, what’s a cheesy gore flick without great shots of perky titties and firm arses, right? [insert cheer here] Hey! I’d lick a floor clean if it meant I’d be staring up at great tits and arses all day. N’est pas?

Lonely, desperate for change, and with his love interest suddenly gone, Lionel takes on a protégé who actually brightens the movie up a bit. It was fun to see a psychopathic janitor SORRY, CUSTODIAN, share his love and passion for cleaning peoples’ shit from the crappers. Such ninja-esque training occurred here and it was a fun surprise. I never knew a toilette brush would actually be used as a weapon, and a deadly weapon at that. This shed some light on the creativity of filmmakers Andy Signore and TJ Nordaker.

I can understand filmmakers these days going out and getting a bunch of people together to make a cheese-gore-flick, but even the shittiest stories, when the acting is decent at best can be far more entertaining. The Janitor had its good moments though, like the bits of smiley-ranting the big boss at Lionel’s original place of employment, the Generico Corporation, was a fun dude. Kind of reminded me of my old boss who tried too often to use humor whilst being insulting.

Marked as a comedy, The Janitor was fun all in all, but even though the story was something I actually enjoyed, I still think the acting could have been better. There were often some great little bits that could have been better, of course, but the fact that this is definitely a low-budget film, I think the film makers have accomplished what is was they set out to do; To make a fun, entertaining and often dry bit of film. The camera work was ok, but nothing worth raving about as it was somewhat bland and could have used more steadicam to POV our tweaking Custodian.

So where am I going with all this? Well, The Janitor is a fun, light-gory flick that should be watched while you’re doing the dishes or cleaning the cat’s litter boxes, but if you’re really into the “obvious-bad”, it is not a flick to be taken seriously. Then again, I’m pretty sure this is precisely what the director had in mind anyway.