We used to have a section on Horror Yearbook called Please Make the Pain Stop!, it was mostly just us bashing “fake scream queens” on the YouTube, but it looks like it is time to bring it back. With After Dark Films producing their own films, and all the crappy remakes, we may need it again.

Saw V is also the perfect movie to help us bring the PMPS series out of retirement, because it should be stopped. Hopefully this year’s Saw will put an end to the franchise. While I am all for horror movies having as many sequels as possible, Saw just doesn’t have what it takes to continue. They painted themselves in a corner and instead of just going bat-shit insane to keep it interesting, each year we have to painfully watch as they try and explain a “plausible” scenario so they can keep the cash cow going. Films like Friday the 13th kept it simple, Jason gets hit by lighting, comes back to life, kills, dies, repeat, but with Saw everything has gotten so out of hand (and not in a fun who gives a shit way) it should make any horror fan cringe.

I offer the same suggestions for Saw V as I did last year with Saw IV:

Bring Jigsaw back as a zombie.
We find out that Jigsaw implanted his brain in a cyborg body.
Jigsaw’s puppets come to life and take over.

Now those would be interesting sequels, instead we get this:

“In the fifth installment of the SAW franchise, Hoffman is seemingly the last person alive to carry on the Jigsaw legacy. But when his secret is threatened, Hoffman must go on the hunt to eliminate all loose ends.”

I don’t even remember who Hoffman was! Saw V will be in theaters October 24, 2008, and hopefully audiences will not so we can truly Make the Pain Stop!