Taking a page from the Quiroz brothers’ Hood of the Living Dead, or Snoop Dogs’s Bones, The Hood Has Eyez brings Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left to East L.A.
Featuring the oldest high school students in film history, Hood follows three private school “girls” running around in short plaid skirts, never skimping on the panty shots or T&A. The girls decide to skip school, but of course wind up in the wrong end of tha hood where they are kidnapped, raped, and tortured until one escapes and gets her bloody revenge.
Most reviews of The Hood Have Eyez are going to read like a list of obscenities: rape, dirty sanchez (smearing shit under someone’s nose), castration, tampon licking, coat hanger abortions, and these are just a few things that happen in this film. I say if John Waters could become famous for filming a fat cross-dresser eating dog poop why can’t these guys? Actually, if the people behind Hood should be recognized for anything it should be the fact that they at least made a rape/revenge film, a subgenre not many people tend to revisit these days.
The funniest part of the film, besides the actresses they picked for teens, is during the abortion scene. They used one of those fake plastic pussies I used to sell at my porn shop. I was proud that it looked like they spent a little extra cash on the cyber-skin model and didn’t go with the cheap Wal-mart version. I do have to wonder if it was from one of the crew’s private collection, which is a grosser thought than the actual scene.
As for shock value, I hate to admit it, but the hardcore horror fan that has seen even the basic rape/revenge 101 is not going to be too shocked. Horror fans do not really respond to being outrageous just for the sake of being outrageous. We need a little more.
With that said, The Hood Has Eyez does push the envelope very far. Most movies that claim to be too brutal and controversial these days fail miserably to deliver, but Hood does give you what it promises. It will make pansies who’s mangina’s are still aching from so-called “torture porn” have to go back to the lame label board and invent a new term. It is vicious, crass, and contains no redeeming value. It is only here to offend and shock you and for a lot it people it probably will.
