Hollywood is getting so bad that they may start remaking your home videos. You better hide your childhood tapes before Dakota Fanning is playing you getting potty trained, trust me she will do it as long as she doesn’t have to shave her head.
Every time I swear off posting remake news something so stupid comes along and sucks me back in. Yahoo! Movies reports that Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine, creators of the hit Web series Ask a Ninja, are writing an adaptation of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
Why would you remake something like this? I can’t even begin to tell you how incredibly stupid, asinine, and lame it is. Forget the current Nightmare on Elm Street remake and whatever else they have planned, if this is not the travesty that proves to you that we should stop spending our money on remakes, then I have no idea what is.
At least be smart, if you can’t help yourself and have to go to theaters to see the current Michael Bay raping of a classic, then at least buy a ticket for something else, then sneak into the remake, that way at least you are not supporting them.
There are probably a thousand decent original scripts floating around that will never be made because Hollywood execs can’t get their heads out of their asses long enough to discover them. Meanwhile hacks like Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine keep feeding the machine so they can get their foot in the door. Why would you rewrite something that no one wanted to see in the first place, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes belongs where is has always been; one of the worst movies ever made. It is like remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I do not want to see better looking “killer tomatoes,” or someone else’s take on the film, leave it in the cult vault where it belongs and try writing something original for poop sakes.
It is almost like we have given filmmakers a free pass to plagiarize, or rip off ideas under the new name –remake. People have spent years accusing directors like Quentin Tarantino for being a rip-off artist when all he did was pay homage to movies he truley enjoyed. I rather sit through the rehashing of certain film genres, like the slasher film, over and over as long as it is an attempt at a new idea, nothing wrong with making your own version of a film like Killer Tomatoes, but why remake the entire idea. If Night of the Living Dead spawned every zombie movie that ever followed fine by me, but did any of us need to sit through Tom Savini’s version?
Charles Band (Fullmoon Pictures) has been milking his success with Ghoulies for his entire career but at least that brought us other great classics like Puppet Master and Troll. There are a lot of other vegetables out there that Nichols and Sarine could have used for their own original film, allowing us all to leave one cult picture off the remake chopping block.
