TERROR INC. – Issue #5 of 5
Written by David Lapham Art by Patrick Zircher
Marvel MAX Comics
It’s here at last. The final issue of Terror Inc. is in my hands, and the blood in my face has caused red balloon cheeks to implode in a fire of envy. I use the word “envy” because writer David Lapham and artist Patrick Zircher have hit four-for-four bullseyes with one shot left on the dartboard. There’s just no way to miss… and they don’t. Five by five, and I should be jealous. Instead, I’m envious… and thankful. This series has been a blast. Issue five is a full-on blitz of action, causing page after page to endure massive amounts of tears, sweat, and drool as Mr. Terror, Talita, and Mrs. Primo battle it out to make sense of it all. It’s a drug in its purest form, and it’s been out of my system since December 2007. I just hope this isn’t the end? Marvel Max has an exciting enterprise with Terror Inc, and it needs to be fleshed out for more opportunities. Definitely film. Maybe television. Another miniseries? A born necessity. David Lapham has intricately crafted a tale that waves slightly to Shakespeare, but doesn’t mirror image it. The theme lines are banded tightly, allowing the story to breathe into the audience like a stream of apple pie in a bakery, but straight-lined to meet the goal. Will love be our savior or the destruction of us all? I was really surprised by this series, and picked it up with a smirk of nostalgia. “I remember this guy!” thinking back to the 90’s comic book craze. And then I turned the page, and saw David Lapham writing, and goose bumps traveled down my arm. I turned more pages, and Patrick Zircher’s art had me awe like a 13 year old at Disneyland. And the two combined to create one of the best series to sneak up on a person. Terror Inc. is a smile when mentioned and a rush of blood to the brain when memory serves the experience. A cult comic book classic!
GRADE: A SERIES GRADE: A (Horror Yearbook’s Comic Book Series of the Year – 2007)
HALLOWEEN: NIGHTDANCE – Issue #2
Written by Stefan Hutchinson Art by Tim Seeley
Devil’s Due Publishing
Halloween Comics
I spoke to the writer of this series, Stefan Hutchinson, and gave him my thoughts on Halloween: Nightdance #1 outside of my humor-intended and flavorful reviews, and he was very cool and professional about my insight. It was a “shaking of hands” over email scenario, and I truly hope my perspective upon his writing is taken into consideration. (I also hope other writers and editors lend a hand in realizing Hutchinson’s full potential, but I realize I’m asking for a lot there, so I’ll continue to be the piñata.) So rather than beat a dead horse and piss off his fans some more by continuing to tear apart his unrealistic, star-obsessed and overly emo Judith look-alike, I’ll go for the constructive criticism route and offer up what I really like about the book. I feel this is the best way to get the point across since the letter grade at the bottom was apparently ignored completely the first time around. So… without further ado… constructive criticism:
The middle story shows cinematic flair as the dead body transitions to the living, and it creates a flowing mood from the present to the past. There’s depth in the loss of this woman, as the boyfriend lays her head down on the cold hospital floor. Her eyes barely closed, lifeless, and then with Tim Seeley’s experience in panel transitions from Hack/Slash, moves to a living backstory of two young lovers enjoying their youth. Hutchinson scores big using playful innocence and adolescent adventurism as the painful attachment in these two characters to the audience, causing the reader to care about them becoming victims to the boogeyman, Michael Myers. More importantly, the boyfriend being able to run away from death and having to live with this sudden disturbance in his “young in love” life; this nightmare of a scenario. Also, Michael Myers is used sparingly, creating a tension in the story that is more haunting and surreal than “in your face” slashing seen in other horror movie franchise books. It’s an element that intrigues the reader, giving Michael Myers a lost mystique after so many movie sequels. The shadows make him strong, and Seeley draws him well in that environment.
GRADE: B- CONTINUE READING? I’ll be there until the end to see how this plays out.
FREDDY VS JASON VS ASH – Issue #5 of 6
Dynamite Entertainment
WildStorm Entertainment
Written by James Kuhoric Art by Jason Craig
“There are no original ideas left.” That’s Kuhoric’s excuse for using every quote available in all three movie franchises for this series. If that were indeed true, then man… that would be a long line of writers, artists, creators just waiting to slap your ass, James. Oh wait, “Ash” said it, not the writer, so I guess it’s okay. PFFFFT. Whatever. Surprisingly, this is the best issue of the series. Jason Craig has been pretty good thus far, but for some reason, felt he needed to step it up a notch or something as the art really lights up the page and jumps out at you. Some really fantastic stuff from Craig and the colors finally meet the cinematic presence the comic book was trying to achieve all along. The writing continues to bring this series down from low to lower as panel after panel, Kuhoric believes in playing it safe and delivering the almighty carbon copy quotes. In fact, if one had the time, they could sit and pick out what movie each line was from. But who has the time? I don’t. I’ve wasted enough time and money on this series as it is. (WildStorm is one of the few publishers that doesn’t send me books, and I can see why.) It kind of reminds me of that one time when Jason met Leatherface in the comic books back in the 90’s, and the Hewitt family invites Jason in for some hot, Jessica Biel-like dinner, and Jason is all like, “I don’t eat peas! F that Sheet!” and they throw down. Saw vs. Machete. I think Simon Bisley did that one. Well, at least that one was funny. One issue left for this series, and it can be dead and buried right next to Ash’s girlfriend.
GRADE: B- CONTINUE READING? There’s a few more scenes to copy from the movies, so let’s see if they’re covered in the last issue.
MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 – Issue #5 of 5
Marvel Comics
Written by Robert Kirkman Art by Sean Phillips
So the hunger just… disappears? Somebody get Jared on the phone and ask him what he would have done without Subway. I mean, I can’t go 2 minutes without salivating over the idea of a Wendy’s triple stack for linner. (Yes, I said linner) So the Marvel Zombies finally meet their goal only to lose their thirst for brains, blood, and Forge’s beer gut? I’m kind of disappointed with that resolution. Luckily, Hulk thinks idea stoopid too, and begins killing zombie heroes left and right, including the flawed Phoenix zombie. (Sorry, that would never happen.) I thought Hawkeye kicked the bucket in the last issue though? Sometimes this series, especially in the middle, tells a solid story with some bright, rich humor, only to be scattered in an explosion of unnecessary nods to modern culture. Firelord does the South Park “Kenny” voice where we don’t understand him, but the other zombies do. That was REALLY lame. And then it turns into World War Hulk, only writer Robert Kirkman says Hulk beats Iron Man. Okay… what the hell happened to the story here? It’s like running a race, winning the whole way, making fans jump out of their seats, rooting, hollering, laughing… and then the runner stops to take a shit on the race track? Something tells me Kirkman has too many books to write, and lost control of this drag race. As a whole series, it’s pretty good though up until this point and Sean Phillips art is always a joy to look at. But man, the ball was dropped and then flushed down a giant monster toilet bowl. Either they wanted to leave it like this for a possible sequel or hell… maybe Kirkman wanted to piss people off? I don’t know. I just can’t believe it ended like this. Time to watch Bug again and see if that is just as crazy of an ending.
GRADE: C SERIES GRADE: B+
GRIMM FAIRY TALES – Issue #22
Zenescope Comics
Written by Joe Tyler Art by Joe Dodd
That hot cover from Eric Basaldua had me finally reach out and read this book. That’s not to say Al Rio’s covers have been less tantalizing, but for me, I’m all about Ebas and Snow Queens! (The female kind please) Why I haven’t read this book until now is basically two things: Money and fundamentals. I like sticking with the classic fairy tale I read back in elementary school, and maybe the original Disney versions. So I was skeptical to read this, even though the Snow Queen is by far the sexiest baby doll. Now that’s a white woman, Badabing! So basically, each Grimm Fairy Tale has a modern twist to the original, having characters stop their wicked ways to read a book given to them by a sexy teacher named Sela. Each story reflects what is going on now in the character’s life, and how it relates to a classic Grimm Fairy Tale. How they go about their life after reading the story determines whether or not they live or die or learned their lesson. It’s an interesting concept, and I’ll have to go back and read the other classic tales to really enjoy the premise because this issue was fairy tale lite. It was more of a segment from The Chronicles of Narnia, and I guess Sela and Belinda the Snow Queen have history, maybe prompting a future smackdown? I don’t know. I’m a noob here on this book. But I might check this out going forward, especially if Eric Basaldua keeps drawing them covers. And I still love you Al. Your girls are sexy too, but I… I am the sexiest dude of them all. So says the mirror on the wall.
GRADE: B CONTINUE READING: Sure. I can see how this could get addictive.
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