Nobody Loves Alice (2008)
Directed by Roger Scheck
Official Website

I don’t know how to describe NOBODY LOVES ALICE other than to say it is an updated retelling of FATAL ATTRACTION. The catch is that the unlucky bastard picked on by the manipulative woman doesn’t actually cheat on his lady. In fact, he is set up by his would-be fiancée in an attempt to test his fidelity.

Abigail is convinced by her “best friend” that all men cheat, so she gets antsy when her boyfriend is about to pop the question. On a whim, she asks co-worker Alice to pretend to be a chick hitting on him to see if he will take the bait. It doesn’t work. Actually, he sniffs her out right away and knows it was a set up. Unfortunately, it is too late and Alice claims his ass anyway. Abigail begins to worry when he stops calling her or showing up for work. Can this one broad stop the other broad before it’s too late?

Lead actress Nitzan Mager is GORGEOUS. She looks like cross between Julianna Margulies and Valeria Golino. If you like raven-haired Italian beauties, you will fall in love with her. Actually, this part was kinda confusing because she is supposed to play Alice, a person that no one loves. I realize that the title isn’t meant to be taken literally, but it is a bit ironic that the this particular girl would need to steal a man away from someone not up to par.

There were many interesting statements made (in the case of writer/ director Roger Scheck) about the opposite sex. I say interesting because rather than getting offended, I was amused. For instance, towards the beginning when Abigail is worried that her boyfriend was cheating on her, she has visions of him screwing another girl. But what made these visions so hysterical were that they were played like a horror film with scary music and her panicking. Women are not like that. I just couldn’t help, but laugh. And of course this fear of sex, or “sex as a horror film,” scene is juxtaposed with the unlovable Alice who uses sex to make men love her. I know men think that women do not like sex (“Not now honey, I have a headache”), are afraid of sex (“I’m just not ready yet”), or use sex as a tool (any scenario involving a blowjob), but the truth is we like it just as much as men do…provided it is done right.

Another part of interest was the wedding metaphor. (Spoiler- She tortures the guy!) When Alice chops at the dude in anger, she is later lovingly cleaning his wound. What is funny about this is she is softly talking about her pretend wedding to him as he is screaming in pain. Again, amused by the implications…

I have a feeling some may complain about the look of the film because it was shot on 24p. There were some minor sound and lighting problems, but this doesn’t get in the way of the story at all. For a first time director, Scheck did well and I am curious to see what he will do next.

I have to tell you that despite any minor technical quibbles or possible underlying sexism, I enjoyed the film. It is hard to take your eyes away from actress Nitzan Mager. She has amazing little quirks and facial expressions. I think this made her few minor torture scenes more effective because it was difficult to be infatuated with someone that would do something so disgusting. You also feel more for her character in the end.

Weird Fact 1: One of the songs on their soundtrack is called “Fuckadity” by the Porn King Trio.

Bottom Line: Would make for an interesting date night for sure.

DVD Release: May 20th 2008

Rating: 6/10

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