Well here it is our first and maybe last top ten horror movies of the year list. I realized something about top ten lists; they are a lot of fun when someone else picks them. Since this was such a major pain in the ass, and our original motto at HYB (even though we are far removed from our original vision) was to leave no horror film behind, this is actually part two of three of our “Year in Review.” Part one was our in-depth look at the film careers of Eli Roth and Rob Zombie. (Read LEADERS OF THE SPLAT: An examination of the films and careers of Rob Zombie and Eli Roth Here).
Part 3: 2007’s Best Alternative, Overlooked, Unappreciated, Direct to Video Horror Films
I decided to leave Hostel 2 and Rob Zombie’s Halloween off the top ten list which was met with some criticism. However, I did not choose to do so because some people did not like these films, HYB is not known for going along with the crowd, and by no means was this an attempt to please everyone. I left them off for two reasons. The first was to open the top ten list to other films who may have not of made it, but deserved to be mentioned. I also believe that Hostel 2 and Halloween will be two of the most influential films for the horror genre from 2007. They really represent 2007’s up and down year for horror, one showing the general publics love/hate relationship with it (Hostel 2), and one proving that R-rated films (Halloween) can still make money. Love them or hate them, neither films are going to go away nor is Eli Roth or Rob Zombie (who no self-respecting horror fan should want to anyway). So you can call these films 1a and 1b of our top ten list, they belong there as much as any of the other films that made it, but there was just too much to talk about to stick them on some lame top ten list. I thought they deserved a section of their own.
The list was voted on by all thirteen of our writers and our message board community, which is where the pain in the ass part comes in. The only film that everyone seemed to agree on was 28 Weeks Later and our message board members overwhelmingly went with Wrong Turn 2, leaving a sea of movies to pick from. No matter how many times I restructured the list, someone hated it. Debates ranged from why Bug made the list when it really isn’t a horror film to how our website has not one, but two negative reviews for The Rise of Leslie Vernon, which somehow managed to creep its way on here and Hatchet did not. Since I had to finalize this damn thing before 2008’s list is due, I just tallied the votes and this is what we came up with.
Also what about the little films? You can go to any two-bit horror website in the month of December and read what some other idiots thought the best horror films were. Last year we opted not to do a top ten, but went with The Class of 2006 (you probably recognize it since it has been in our flash banner for an entire year because our web designer is too lazy to take it down), a look at the little films you probably did not see or hear about. This brings me to Part Three of our year in review, where we will discuss those little films from this year.
So here it is our Top 10 Horror Films of 2007, plus a few other favorites, highlights and quotes from our first full year as website. Love it or hate I could care less; I need a friggen drink! That is our other motto by the way. Enjoy!
#1. 28 Weeks Later Who would of thunk when Fox Atomic released 28 Weeks Later that it would be one of the top horror movies of 2007? When I started getting feedback for our top ten list, even before I decided to eliminate Hostel 2 and Halloween, I was surprised that 28 Weeks was heavily in contention for the number one spot. When I originally saw the poster and trailer for this film, I thought it would be a steaming pile of shit, but I was wrong. It was pretty damn great. I figured as the year went on it would slowly get pushed to the back of our memories, as such heavy weights as Hostel, I Am Legend, the much hyped Hatchet and so on got released, but it wouldn’t go away. 28 Weeks Later is one of those rare sequels that hold up to the original, and make it better as a whole. It continues the story upping the ante, but can stand alone as its own film. It also featured two of the fucking freakiest looking little girls I have ever seen and they were the good guys! So I give you our Number One horror movie of 2007- the only film that got an overwhelming amount of votes from our staff and readers! - WIL Keiper
#2. The Mist The greatest horror of 2007 may be the American public’s indifference to Frank Darabont’s glorious and bold adaptation of Stephen King’s The Mist.
“Fear changes everything.”
One of the best and most honest taglines to any film I have seen in many years. Fear does indeed change everything. First rule of Stephen King books being turned in films– only Frank Darabont should be allowed to make these films. He has an enormous amount of respect for the source material. Yes, the ending of the film is different from the ending of the novella. The ending is one that will divide audiences for many years. For me, it is quite simply the boldest ending I have seen of a major American film in a long time. A freak storm unleashes an army of horrific creatures on a small town in Maine. A small group of citizens is holed up in a supermarket and the fight for survival begins. The beauty of Darabont’s film is that it works well as a monster movie and social commentary. It is one of the best cinematic allegories of the post-9/11 era. The film does what the so-called political films of this year failed to do, it makes you think. The human monsters inside the market are just as frightening as those mutations lurking in the mist. Thomas Jane’s David Drayton says it best: “Sure, as long as the machines are working and you can dial 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, you scare the shit out of them - no more rules.” The film is a stunning homage to the great monster movies of the 1950’s, the original Twilight Zone series and the spirit of Richard Matheson’s timeless stories. The Mist stays with you long after the lights come up. – Jerry Dennis
#3. Grindhouse What does one get when you take two of the best movies of the year filled with over the top gore, car chases, the greatest character actors working today, explosions, trailers for movies you could only dream of, a ton of gorgeous women, two of the best soundtracks of the year and toss in the hottest amputee ever seen on screen. You end up with Grindhouse, one of the best films to hit theaters in years. Too bad hardly any of you fuckers went to see it. Sure, you’ll line up for shit fests like Transformers and Rob Zombie’s craptracular <>Halloween abortion, but a fun and truly original film like Grindhouse gets released to a mostly uninterested and perhaps undeserving audience. – Tyler Shainline - Read the rest of Tyler’s Grindhouse rant at the bottom of the page!
#4. Wrong Turn 2: Dead End This movie is Damned Retarded! I loved every gory minute of it! This is definitely one of my favorite of the recently released horror flicks. It is too ridiculous to be missed, and Rollins fuckin’ rules in this flick! So be sure to watch this flick and have a TV PARTY TONIGHT!!! - From Larry on our Message Board
I decided to give Wrong Turn 2: Dead End the nod for three reasons – the plentiful gore, Henry Rollins is in it, and Crystal Lowe gets topless. It’s worth a look for those reasons alone. - Brain Hammer (who rated this number #10 on his picks)
#5. Severance Wow. Four months away and this site still smells like ass. Anyway, Severance is not only one of the best horror films of the year, but the best horror-comedy so far this decade. Usually when you get a movie like this you can either be funny or gory, but Severancemanages to give is both in huge peals, and with a deft mastery in tone by director Christopher Smith to avoid the bipolar shifts that a lesser director would have fell prey to. In fact, that this film is so elusive and hard to pin down may be what’s so fascinating about it. - Dr. Royce Clemens (Royce now writes for Fatally-yours.com & Geeksofdoom.com)
#6. Bug As a more unconventional horror movie, this seems much more like a drama on the surface. For most of the film it follows the pattern of one. Agnes (Judd) and Peter (Shannon) are shown simply talking, mostly about Agnes and her situation in life losing her son 10 years ago and fearing her abusive husband fresh out of jail. The more time they spend together the more the horror sets in. Whether this was intentional or not Peter is the one spreading this and infecting Agnes. Peter was basically a lab rat to the government when he was serving time and went AWOL. You want to believe him, but it is clear that he has a poisonous mind that is tainting Agnes vision. As time goes on they become more and more paranoid leading to serious circumstances that put them in massive danger. While the most obvious terror is Peter and his paranoia, a more direct one is the government. Peter’s condition and what he is capable is only the way it is because of the tests that they did. What makes this so scary is that this type of a thing could really be happening today. There is a war going on right now, certainly questionably unmoral activities could be occurring to Americans who put their lives on the line for their country. Peter and Agnes are incredibly likeable though. You know not to trust them, but you are almost tempted too; making you question everything that you see. That was the point too, to question everything rather it’s the people you trust or what is going on behind closed doors. – Kelsey Zukowski
#7. The Host Bong Joon-ho made The Host for me. He might have thought he was making it for himself, but let us be very clear he made the finest monster film in quite some time. Not since the original Gojira and other early Toho Kaiju films has there been such a reason to celebrate. The Host deserves to be one of the top ten films of the years simply because it transcends the genre. It is plethora of genres. The Host is a monster movie and a political satire filled with sheer lunacy and the ultimate in dysfunctional family dynamics. Think Little Miss Sunshine, Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster, Jaws, Alien, Pan’s Labyrinth and either version of The Blob all mixed together. It pushes the boundaries to a point where you know that you are witnessing the creation of something new and wonderful. Hyun-seo (Ko A-sung) is one of the bravest movie heroines. She is captured by the hideous, mutated tadpole living in Seoul’s Han River. Only Ivana Baquero’s Ofelia in Pan’s Labyrinth comes close to her heroism. It is up to the Park family to put aside past differences to find and rescue Hyun-seo because they will not get any help from the government, the military or the police. The Park’s family descent into hell and madness will stay with you for many years to come. You will come for the monster movie aspect, but you will take away a wonderful tale about family coming together for the common good and the environmental dangers facing our planet. The Host is as good as they come. Please, no American remakes of this film. – Jerry Dennis
#8. 30 Days of Night 2007 was the year of the comic book movie with 300, Ghost Rider, and Fantastic Four, so it’s no surprise that Hollywood would take on popular horror comic writer, Steve Niles, and his baby, 30 Days of Night. Director David Slade, hot off his very little but very memorable indy film, Hard Candy, doesn’t go balls out like most directors granted with a larger budget, and keeps it focused and in tune for the most part with Niles graphic novel. I dug the fresh, original nature of the vampires, acting more like rabid animals rather than metrosexual douchebags, and the film captures a cold environment that is all but hopeless when the lights go out. It’s a great vampire flick and the gory moments alone (cool beheadings) make it worthy to be in the Top 10 horror flicks of 2007. – Mike Fish
#9. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie VernonThis is definitely notable to horror fans. Leslie Vernon (Baesel) is possibly the biggest horror fan of all. He takes admiration of some of the biggest icons like Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorheez, and Michael Myers, and learns how to be a real life killer himself. It pays homage to these characters and the movies that they brought us. Being a mockumentary, it pokes fun at all of the clichés you have seen in countless films in the past. It is something so well known to Leslie that him and his friend know a separate terminology for every person, situation, and action involved. The fact that this whole thing is being reported to a news anchor over a long period of time questions the media’s role in violence. How far is too far to go for a story? Leslie Vernon gives all the horrifying information you could think of. Yet nothing is done to stop him. We have seen many movie killers in numerous situations over many years. We are able to see even more of Leslie though. He takes us through the whole process of killing. His way of thinking and reactions are very comical. Leslie gets stoked when planning a murder, yet in a chipper sort of way that you wouldn’t associate with a serial killer. In a twisted sense this puts him on the same level as us. We can relate to him on his love for the horror genre. The way he talks about it is in a completely normal tone. He seems like an every day guy who happens to have a passion for murder. – Kelsey Zukowski
#10. The Girl Next Door I suppose the Girl Next Door made the Top Ten list for a number of reasons. The most obvious being that the film is based on a novel by one of the greatest true crime/ horror writers today- Jack Ketchum. Even horror great Stephen King called it “the first authentically shocking American film I’ve seen since Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.” Sure, the film doesn’t count as horror per se (although the interesting marketing tactics of Starz Home Ent. would say otherwise), but this is by far one of the most horrific films made this year. It is loosely related to the true crime story of a girl that was tortured…by other children…that were supposed to be her neighborhood friends…while being supervised by a cruel adult. This film makes you realize that the boogeyman lives right next door and apparently comes in the form of innocent children. It teaches you that no human can be trusted. The next time you see children playing tag in a yard, you may question who is really “it”. Yeah, zombies are scary, but they are not real. Okay, Michael Myers returning for the umpteenth time gets your man panties in a bunch, but we’ve seen it all before. Then there are the vampires, mists, cannibals, serial killers, etc. that made the list. But Girl is the one that will actually get under your skin. This is the film that has made grown men cry. Now THAT is reason enough for it to make any “Best of” 2007 list. – Molly Celaschi
Tell us if our list sucks or not here.
Best DVD Release: The Burning
This was a dvd release that hardcore horror fans had been anticipating for years. It’s well known that The Burning is one of the all time great slasher flicks. Sadly, for far too long a decent looking, uncut print of The Burning was something of a “holy grail” for slasher completists. The original “R” rated vhs releases, and most of the region 2 dvd releases were all heavily edited and therefore worthless. Several years ago I paid $25 for a murky looking bootleg vhs copy of the uncut Japanese print – and thought it was quite a bargain. Looking back I could kick myself for such a foolish purchase, especially when I watch the beautiful looking remastered dvd print of The Burning that MGM officially released in September of 2007.
After several years of having this one tucked up their ass, MGM went the extra mile with this dvd release. First of all, they were wise enough to present the UNCUT version of The Burning with all of the juicy splatter intact. The dvd features beautiful picture quality and is much clearer looking than any previous release. Best of all, we get several brand new bonus features – including a 17 minute Tom Savini special effects featurette entitled Blood N’ Fire, a commentary track with director Tony Maylam, a photo gallery, and the theatrical trailer.
After years of anticipation, this dvd release wound up being well worth the wait. No respectable horror collection is complete without this. - Brain Hammer
Best Horror Project – Johnny Gruesome (Read Review)
Best Not Quite a Horror Movie but Close Enough: Hot Fuzz
Biggest Dick of 2007: Matthew Pletcher from Death Walks the Streets
Best Comic Books - Single Issue by Mike Fish
1. Terror INC. #1
2. Se7en: Lust #4
3. Hack/Slash #2
4. Beneath the Valley of the Rage #2
5. Bad Planet #3
6. Terror INC. #2
7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #7
8. Hack/Slash #1
9. Bump #1
10. Alien Pig Farm 3000 #2
Best Comic Book Series
1. Terror INC. - Marvel
2. Hack/Slash - Devil’s Due
3. Beneath the Valley of the Rage - Fangoria Comics
4. Bad Planet - Raw Entertainment
5. Marvel Zombies vs Army of Darkness - Dynamite/ Marvel
6. Alien Pig Farm 3000 - Raw Entertainment
7. Buffy Season 8 - Dark Horse
8. Bump - Fangoria Comics
9. The Great and Secret Show- IDW Publishing
10. Se7en - Zenscope Entertainment SE7EN –
On the Lookout for 2008
1. Simon Dark - DC Comics
2. The Darkness - Top Cow
3. Angel - IDW
4. Foolkiller - Marvel Comics
5. Snaked - IDW
Top Ten Best Video Games - by Molly Celaschi
(For people that want to shoot, fight, and blow shit up)
1. Gears of War (360)
2. The Orange Box – Half-Life 2 (PC)
3. Halo 3 (360)
4. BioShock (Xbox 360)
5. Mass Effect (360)
6. Assassin’s Creed (PS3 and 360)
7. God of War 2 (PS2)
8. Rainbow Six Las Vegas (PS3)
9. Call of Duty 4 (PS3 or 360)
10. Resident Evil 4 (Wii)
Honorable mentions: The Darkness, Clive Barker’s Jericho, and Manhunt 2. Rock Band and Guitar Hero III rocked well enough, but sadly, are not violent.
Best Online Game: Halo 3
HYB Highlights:
Tyler Makes National Print Ads For Hostel 2
Matthew Pletcher Threatens to Sue Us
Tim Sullivan Calls Us Homophobic
After Dark Calls us lamest Horror Website on the Internet
Patrick Green Says Enough With “Torture Porn”
Chris Supposedly Calls “Actress” From Black Devil Doll a Drag Queen at Silicon
Molly Gets Quoted in NY Post
WIL and Chris Crash Fearzone.com’s Todd Farmer Interview
Random Quotes: About and from us!
“This blog-like horror site is like Fangoria on crack!”
- From our write-up on the website RetroSlashers.net.
“Perhaps you can understand, my friend, how the foul smell of homophobia might appear to fill the air to one, such as myself, sensitive to such nasty aromas.”
- Director Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs) claiming Molly and WIL are homophobic.
“I hate when Mom and Dad fight!”
- Director Greg Lamberson (Slime City) on Horror Yearbook getting involved with the Horror Drunx/Rue Morgue fight.
“To Rue Morgue, You dug your own grave…now it’s time for me to piss in it!”
- Mortimor A. London - Leader of the Horror Drunx
“It was like a cross between Jon Stewart of ‘The Daily Show’ & Howard Stern.”
- Matthew Warner (Author Eyes Everywhere) on his interview with HorrorYearbook.com
“It’s like someone let a bunch of drunk retards out of an insane asylum.”
- Chad about our Message Board.
“No, and I’m rather insulted that you brought this up in my interview.”
- Jim Wynorski, when asked by WIL if he tried to get Heather Locklear naked in “Return of Swamp Thing”
“F this sssssssssssssssssssssssssite!”
- Brad Mitska, Editor of Bloody Disgusting
“Oops I just realized Royce is a woman, sorry about that. Please thank HER.”
– Bit Parts director Dave Reda confusing male writer Dr. Royce Clemens for being a lady
“She looks like a 14 year old boy.. with tits.. and a uni-brow.. fuck! she started talking! i’m gonna vomit!”
- Chris while watching the Melinda Kruger Show
“I would have noticed it earlier but iIgot drunk last night and have a bad hangover. I’m tired of getting drunk, its boring and its too much trouble the next day.”
- Chad - Our Owner - when asked why the server was down since 1 am
“Don’t write checks your wheelchair can’t cash.”
– Black Devil Doll Producer Shawn Smith to writer Chris Cooper
“WI1,
0NY WARNING
CEASE AND DESIST”
- Actual E-mail from Matthew Pletcher after we published several articles asking if he is really the fraud so many people claim he is.
HorrorYearbook.com’s Staff:
I Would like to thank all my staff for all their hard work, all of our friends, and readers who have stuck with us this past year. Especially Molly Celaschi who I wouldn’t be here without…and no we are not having sex.
Owner: Chad Shmukler
Head Idiot: WIL Keiper
Ass. Editor: Molly Celaschi
Official Scumbag: Chris Cooper
Writers: (in no particular order)
Andrew Walsh - Ass. Editor 2Snaps.tv
Brain Hammer – Brain Hammer’s Picks From the Crypt
Mike Fish - Comics
Gary Gaymon – Articles
Patrick Green – Articles
Shane – Music
Tyler Shainline – Reviews
Jerry Dennis – Reviews
Kelsey Zukowski - Reviews
The rest of Tyler’s “Grindhouse” write-up because he couldn’t contain himself to write a paragraph like the rest of the staff:
Anybody reading this is well aware of what Grindhouse was, two films; Planet Terror and Death Proof kicked off by a “fake” trailer for Machete with three more “fake” trailers sandwiched between. One hundred and ninety one minutes of genre brilliance shared by five of the most hyped directors working in the industry today.
The first and arguably better film of the two films; Planet Terror is one of the greatest and most refreshing “zombie” films to splatter across screens in a long time. The basic plotline of Planet Terror is the long overused “a group of rag tag survivors of a bio-weapon outbreak band together to fight an endless horde of zombies.” Thankfully it’s not the plot that makes Terror one of the most enjoyable films of 2007; it’s the absolute love and respect for the genre that writer/director Robert Rodriguez pours into every scene. From the fake film grain, to the killer soundtrack almost every instance is a calculated homage to Italian directors like Lucio Fulici and Umberto Leni.
While the majority of the media attention given to Planet Terror was devoted to Rose McGowan’s Cherry Darling and her unique appendage, she was just one of the many high points of the film. The inclusion of Bruce Willis as the main bad guy was a stroke of genius and getting the opportunity to watch Quentin Tarantino’s balls turn to a puddle of goo was nothing short of brilliant. While it would have been easy for Rodriguez to rely on the impressive effects that appear throughout the film, one of the best moves he made was to assemble an impressive cast. Both Jeff Fahey and Josh Brolin give the best performances of their lives while genre icons Tom Savini and Michael Biehn remind us all why they hold a special place in our hearts. Hell, even that skank Fergi from the Black Eyed Peas does a decent job. Sure, all she had to do was show her cleavage and die, but unlike most film cameos (Rob Zombie I’m looking at you) it didn’t detract from the move at all.
Death Proof on the other had doesn’t have the same non-stop feel or devotion to the genre as Rodriguez’s flick does but Tarantino’s no slouch either. While it may not be on par with his prior films, it’s still the best killer on the road film since Duel. A major audience complaint about Death Proof is the lack of action and abundance of girls talking non-stop about bullshit. This is not a debatable fact, since barely twenty minutes of the film is spent on the road. But the rapid pace and genuine delivery of Tarantino’s script makes up for the lack of explosions and gore. And when the blood finally does fly it’s a masterpiece of destruction. After all, how often do you get to see a beautiful woman’s face destroyed up close by the rear wheel of a Chevy Nova while the face’s owner is seated in the backseat of a car?
Kurt Russell gives his best performance since he stopped working with John Carpenter (and no I’m not counting Escape from LA) as Stuntman Mike. Mike’s a killer in the same vein as Jason or Michael Myers, except this stalking killer oozes charm instead of puss and uses his skull adorned car to kill women instead of a butcher knife. For those in the audience that can’t handle the non-stop gibber jabber between the handful of gorgeous women that pack this film, it’s worth the wait for one of the best car chases put to film since Steve McQueen sped through San Francisco almost thirty years ago in “Bullitt.”
As great as both “Planet Terror and Death Proof are, my favorite parts of Grindhouse occurred during the moments surrounding the films. The fake trailers directed by Rob Zombie, Eli Roth and the somewhat out of place Edgar Wright were nothing short of brilliant. With Rodriguez’s fake trailer for Machete becoming a reality and Rob Zombie pondering the possibility of a Werewolf Women of the S.S. feature hopefully both Roth and Wright will follow suit. I know the horror community at large has nothing but hate for Eli Roth, but who wouldn’t want to see a full length version of Thanksgiving?
As great as they were the trailers weren’t my favorite part of the film, the thing that made my jaw drop to the floor were the fake ads and promos that were stuck into the beginnings and ends of the films. I didn’t waste my time or money on the rip-off DVDs the Weinstein Company released that split the films up, so I’m not sure if home viewers got to see some of these great moments and I don’t care. That’s what you get for staying home and watching them on your TV you cocksuckers.
Simply put, seeing Grindhouse in the theater was the most fun I’ve had all year with my pants on. Even though it wasn’t in the cinemas for very long, I managed to see it six times in five different theaters in five different cites and I took at least one different person with me each time. With the exception of my friend’s wife that fell asleep during Death Proof every person I went with had a blast. In the Bay Area we’re lucky enough to have a few theaters that serve alcohol and both times I saw Grindhouse at one of these theaters it played to a packed house. Maybe that was what was missing from its initial theatrical run, an adult atmosphere for this gleefully adult film.
Read Brain Hammer’s TOP TEN LIST HERE!
