I know it’s not the popular opinion. I know I will be crucified by the horror elite for saying this, but fast zombies kick slow zombies’ asses. They are far more frightening than the old school walkers. I refuse to base my opinion on the fact that slow zombies came first, or the bullshit explanation that they are more scientifically possible. Get real. Zombies AREN’T scientifically possible. If you find that statement hard to believe then I have something to tell you about Santa Claus too. In fact, neither are vampires, or slashers that come back from the dead time and time again. If you try to present me with scientific evidence about zombies, then I want to see your neurological studies on why Freddy Krueger can kill you in your dreams.

Let’s face it, have you ever woken up in the middle of the night screaming and sweating because you were being slowly pursued by an attacker with a limp?
If you are one of those people who insists on turning the walking dead into a “social commentary,” then doesn’t it make more sense for the zombie of the new millenium to run rather than walk? In a world where everything needs to be “now, now, now,” instant gratification, double espresso mochachino with extra sugar, shouldn’t the undead be hyper-active too? Most of us reboot our damn computers if a website takes more than 5 seconds to load.

It’s not that I dislike slow zombies. I love them. I just love the fast ones more. I like the original “Dawn of the Dead,” but I like the remake better, and I’m not afraid to say it. There’s room for both, but at the end of the day, I would rather go up against the walkers then the runners and that’s exactly why I think they’re scarier.

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