The entertaining SHADOW: DEAD RIOT is prefaced with trailers for the interesting COPKILLERS (“They want to tell you something and it’s not Happy Birthday!” ???), HELL’S BLOODY DEVILS (dirty hippy sex and swastikas), FRANKENSTEIN’S BLOODY TERROR (which is about Wolfman, of course), and EMMANUELLE & THE LAST CANNIBALS (an awesome, but strange mix of hard gore and sleaze).

The unique features offered on this grindhouse double feature are intentionally grainy and scratched quality of films (you are not given the option of original) and an “grindhouse audience chatter” audio track. This additional track is pretty cool…for about 5 minutes when it became too distracting. I was about to start screaming at the invisible people to shut the hell up! And they referred to Tony Todd as Bob Marley when he clearly looked more like Whoopi Goldberg….

FLESH FOR THE BEAST follows later on after the preview for SHADOW: DEAD RIOT (which I just got done watching!), the eye popping (pun intended) ZOMBI 2, the overrated BEYOND THE DARKNESS, and LAST CANNIBAL WORLD, which I know nothing about.

SHADOW: DEAD RIOT 2005 (NR) – Directed by Derek Wan

Solitaire is a Black martial arts ass-kicking chick that just checked into an all women’s prison for being a bad ass. Turns out this prison was previously closed because a male inmate named Shadow (Tony Todd) was to be executed for rape and murder, but spoiled the plans by fucking exploding everywhere! This caused the inmates to go crazy and the guards had to murder all of them and bury their corpses in the ground, naturally. So now some hot chickie blood is spilt on their burial grounds and zombies come back to bite nipples and suck blood. Sounds like a Women in Prison exploitation flick? Well, that’s because it is, Hooray!

Things are even weirder than described above when you factor in that Fangoria’s managing editor Michael Gingold wrote the screenplay and the cast seems to consist of a bunch of Suicide Girls (chicks with tattoos that get naked).

Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundae) pops in for a bit of fun as a bitch to this giant lady convict named Mondo that I confused for a man in a bad wig. After checking the credits, I confirmed that Mondo was indeed a woman and not Tony Lister from the pothead “Friday” slacker comedies.

I knew this movie would be pretty much what I anticipated when there was a really long shower scene kindly introducing me to the ladies one by one and finishing with Solitaire knocking over two naked girls with a locker room bench to the head.

There is a ton of nudity, martial arts, flying bodies, a flashlight through the head, doors busted open with karate kicks, a bloody baby birth, chicks kicked in the crotch, a killer zombie baby, a nipple bite, and Tony Todd’s beer gut.

It was really entertaining to have the sound cut out here and there (sometimes during the important parts, but who watches this for the plot anyway?) and to have scratches across the film as a part of the grindhouse feature. But one point that pissed me off was during the lesbian shower scene. That entire scene was removed (as a joke?) and not even offered as an Extra for people interested in seeing it.

Also, some of the plot (especially involving the zombies rising from spilt blood sometimes and then not rising from spilt blood other times) didn’t make any sense. But then again, you don’t exactly pay attention to plot in a film like this. Karate kicking Bionic girl can destroy steel doors, but cannot escape prison? Okay. Aroma-Therapeutic hypersensitive psychotherapist warden doesn’t notice that the male doctor gives away entire bottles of drugs for sex sessions in unhidden areas? Whatever. There are some naked people and lots of zombies and even more dead bodies. That is all you need to know.

DVD Extras: None! (Except the aforementioned grindhouse audio track feature).

Weird Fact: Tony Todd thinks he is a serious actor.

Favorite Quote: Explaining to a Black man why she calls herself Solitaire, “Because I love the sight of Red on Black.” Her middle name doesn’t happen to be “Noos…” Nevermind.

Bottom Line: For fans of martial arts and WIP flicks. A combination of RICKY-O and ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST, but with Black people and naked lesbians. Grab a six-pack and relax.

Rating: 8/10

FLESH FOR THE BEAST 2003 (NR) – Directed by Terry West

FLESH has a relatively simple premise. Ghost hunters are hired to enter the Fischer haunted house and report any paranormal activity. The house was once owned by a prick that whored out women, so of course the angry specters seduce the men and murder them one by one.

The film is not too shabby considering the terrible things I have read about it online. It was mercilessly torn apart by reviewers, but I found it entertaining. The scares start rather early on with the opening scene being the group first entering the house, so you bypass long introductions to the characters. Actually, you learn more about the characters personalities watching how they are tricked by the ghosts (who they think are real people or crazies escaped from the local loony bin) and how they interact with the ghosts. One man knows he is encountering a spirit and fucks her with abandon anyway despite knowing what the consequence will be. Another poor schmuck is so mousy that he tries to will away the ghosts with his mind.

There were a couple confusing things about the plot if you care enough to notice. Like whoever said that ghost hunting only occurs in the dark? The investigators think it is a good idea to do their hunting at night… in total darkness… all alone… in separate areas on the house. Why? They are supposed to videotape the ghosts. Wouldn’t it make more sense to fix the cameras in certain rooms that have had reported paranormal activity before and turn the lights on so they can see the ghosts instead of using shitty infrared? And there is a psychic chick that gets visions, so why is she sent away from the rest of the group?

The title “Flesh for the beast” seems to reference two things. The past history of the whorehouse indicates the women’s flesh being fed to the men’s beast, while in the present the succubae literally feed on the flesh of the perverted horny men. I liked this concept even though it wasn’t fully explored. There is a sequel being made now that will hopefully go into this a little more. The biggest hint we are given as to the meaning was a previous whore ghost that is raped/ has sex with a man, eats him, then says “How does it feel now to be the weak one? The victim? Flesh for the beast? You’ve had a taste. And now, I want a taste!” She has a sexy body by the way…

Speaking of which, there is tons of flesh on display here including extended scenes of full frontal. There is even one scene that doesn’t make sense and I don’t understand why it is in the film at all, that involves three naked chicks covered in blood crawling around on the floor for 5 minutes. If you prefer more subdued ghost films, do not watch this. Watch something along the lines of SESSION 9 instead which is similar, but minus serious gore and any sexuality.

There is a nifty kinda of twist ending that you can see coming a little bit ahead. It wasn’t executed perfectly, but I liked it nonetheless especially when the succubae come to scare the psychic girl alone in the hallway.

DVD Extras: None and no grindhouse audio track.

Weird Fact: Stupid IMDB users rated this a 2.9/10, but I actually liked it. Some called it porn, which confused me…until I looked at director Terry West’s credits (THE SEXY SIXTH SENSE, LORD OF THE G-STRING, and PLAY-MATE OF THE APES). Meh.

Bottom Line: Some atmospheric creepy parts similar to SESSION 9, but filled to the gill later on with naked flesh. Cool twist ending despite some dubious acting talent.

Rating: 6/10

Overall DVD Extras: None, except one audio track, the features (DEAD RIOT at 95mins and FLESH at 89mins), and trailers described above.

Overall DVD Bottom Line: The double feature will run you about $17.99, which is not bad for two pretty good movies together. But I am still annoyed about the lack of extras and that damn missing lesbian scene….

I would recommend buying this version over the $26.99 Collector’s Edition of SHADOW: DEAD RIOT, which is priced too high for only having a few extras like Behind the scenes, interviews, and a trailer.

However, if you are a diehard FLESH FOR THE BEAST fan, you might want to bypass this double feature and the $17.99 single DVD version, and instead get the $26.99 Unrated FLESH copy with DVD Extras (Behind the Scenes, couple interviews), a t-shirt, and the novel is was based on.

Overall DVD Rating: 7/10

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