If you’re like me (and I know both the people who look at this site are) you think even the best slasher flick could be even better if only it had some hard-core sex. Unfortunately, the horror-porn genre is a terribly small one and most the shit is just a crappy novelty at best.

With a name like Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre though, i couldn’t resist giving it a shot and I’m glad I didn’t. While it’s clearly a parody, if for some commie reason you took out all the hardcore sex, this is sadly better than a lot of the shit passing for silly horror today. Although the fact I’m reviewing this should cue you in on my standards for horror films.

It’s about these “kids” who accidentally run over some guy (three times) on a road trip to a concert. To make things worse their van breaks down near an old abandoned Camp that used to employ a serial killer and is also on an ancient Indian burial ground.. and, well.. do the math.

Though there’s much more sex than gore, that just makes it funnier. I can even forgive them, I suppose, for not having any “real” anal sex or fire-crotch bitches. The true draw back to this film, is that they use condoms which is just icky and makes me assume they must all have AIDs and.. well shit, that’s not even a good reason to stoop to using them. Anyway tho, yea.. other than the condoms and lack of good butt sex this is a top notch flick and if trendy horror sluts are your bread and butter than this is an excellent date-flick.