This is one of many “grindhouse” features being released to DVD in response to the (un)success of the Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez film.
This particular grindhouse experience starts with the sleazy DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE with some obscure trailers for druggie apesploitation HORROR HIGH and the ridiculous looking WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN. During Intermission, we are treated to the pretty neat BLOOD MANIA and the atmospheric, yet goofy NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF trailers followed by the boring PRIME EVIL feature all played back to back for a few hours of enjoyment. All of this is prefaced with a nonsensical clip of adorable kittens playing together signifying the material is “18 and over,” which doesn’t make sense unless they are referring to puss.
DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE 1980 (NR) – Directed by Robert Hammer
A fashion photographer/ rapist with Vietnam murder tactics preys on women while calling into a female therapist’s radio show to play games with her. The therapist falls in love with the detective on the case and the two try to solve the crimes before the murderer pounces on her.
I will cut to the chase and clue you in on the sex and murder because I am sure that is what people want to hear. There are numerous nude ladies for those interested. And although there are rapes happening in the story, none of this is shown. The murder scenes are particularly hard to watch, but more for the scenarios presented than the actions that occur. For example, one woman the perp targets is a former child molestation victim. She almost gives into the rapist, crying like a child, and calling him “daddy” while she clutches her teddy bear. He calls her “baby” and fondly touches her hair while trying to soothe her as though she were really a child. This is highly disturbing.
One goofy aspect of the film is the poor treatment of women that is so absurd it becomes almost unintentionally funny. A therapist asks the previously mentioned child molestation victim during counseling, “Did you always let your father have his way with you even though you knew it was wrong?” That question is wrong on so many levels. Not only is the therapist insinuating that a child allows herself be abused, but that she should have known better and is therefore a bad person for not stopping her father.
It is pretty hard to ignore the fact that the film is misogynistic especially with its contempt for other minorities. The Blacks do not fare well either. There could be defensive arguments as to why the only Black characters were drug dealers, prostitutes, and pimps, but I cannot imagine the argument for why they are called “niggers.” Actually, the offensive part to the name-calling is that the Black characters seemed “okay” with being called niggers. One choice moment was when a White man says, “Hey you dumb nigger!” and the Black man replies, “Who are you calling dumb?”
The main reason why the film doesn’t completely work is that it tries, and fails, to mix tense sadistic scenes with lighthearted comedic moments. Nicholas Worth was fantastic as the brutal rapist, but his intense scenes were overshadowed by investigation sequences involving nimrod detectives that waste time fighting with each other and making fun of the deceased, which further degraded the women. One forensics analyst makes inappropriate comments about a woman that was tortured for several hours, had her breast bitten, and was “violated in every orifice.” Again, none of this extreme violence is depicted, but the cold mockery made at a victim’s expense while hovering over her dead body was chilling.
Most of this seriousness (and ridiculousness) could have worked if it added up to something or at least had a strong third act to tie it all together. But the weakest part was the unbelievable relationship between the radio personality therapist and the jerk off cocky detective that develops at the speed of light later in the film. The initial scenes with these characters show contempt for one another, so sudden attraction seems strange and forced.
Weird Fact: The Rapist is played by Nicholas Worth who has one of the coolest list of funny acting credits ever including: SCREAM BLACULA SCREAM, Pam Anderson’s BARB WIRE, the Jon Lovitz comedy HIGH SCHOOL HIGH, Sam Raimi’s DARKMAN, HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN with Roddy Piper, Wes Craven’s SWAMP THING, and an episode of “Mama’s Family.”
Favorite Quote: First Cop says, “Now we know he used a stocking from the previous victim.” Second Cop says, “Hey, that’s great. Now we can get him for petty theft AND murder!”
Bottom Line: Light on well-structured plot, but a definite must see for sleazeballs.
Rating: 7/10
PRIME EVIL 1988 (R) – Directed by Roberta Findley
This was a pretty boring film with a simple storyline. A cult leader us trying to recruit more people and an old man is trying to sacrifice his granddaughter to live longer and that is it. Nothing more interesting or any subplots. Just extremely long scenes of this one pretty chick talking about being a virgin and pretending to be interested in the creepy old man. I fast-forwarded through half of the film.
Now before I hear the cries of foul due to the fast forwarding, I will put it this way- Yeah, I am kinda bored with the “sacrificial virgin” plots and technically could tolerate sitting through it anyway. But I do not need to hear 10 conversations about said virgin being virginal. There is a conversation that she is a virgin, then a convo about why she is a virgin, then her boyfriend has a convo about why he doesn’t like virginity, then there is a priest talking about why virginity is good, then a prostitute eavesdrop on a convo about the virginity, and so on. See how it got old real fast? Bad showmanship as a critic, but I couldn’t take much more.
Also, the religious aspect doesn’t interest me and Satanists are not scary. Maybe if this was made back in the 70s it would have come off as topical, but not when the movie was heading into the 90s. This played like a made-for-TV movie with the exception of a few goofy violent moments and a few pairs on boobs briefly seen, but none of that could save the film. For one great example of suckage, refer to the Favorite Quote below, which actually makes the film sound better than it is.
Oh and there was a nun that poses as a Satanist to join and save the world (I think) and I believe she stabs a Jesus Christ statue in the crotch (or that could have actually been the Devil) at the end and all the Satanists are having sex and catch on fire and die.
Weird Fact: You may remember director Roberta Findley and husband Michael. Roberta is well known for hardcore porn films and making the so-bad-its-good classic SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED. She also directed SNUFF (1976), which is famous for having been marketed as real snuff including paid fake protestors. Judging by this background info, you would think a little more creativity would have been put into PRIME EVIL.
Favorite Quote: (During the big dramatic showdown at the end where everyone dies) Police officer, “Cut the crap fart breath. You must be Thomas C.” Satanist, “Indubitably.”
Bottom Line: Only for diehard fans of Robert Findley’s work or people into cults.
Rating: 3/10
Overall DVD Extras: None! Just the features (DON’T ANSWER at 94mins and PRIME EVIL at 86mins) and trailers described above.
Overall DVD Bottom Line: You can easily find this DVD for $10 or less now, so if you want a decent night of sleaze it seems worth it. Although, you might be better off just picking up DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE all by its lonesome to get cool extras like interviews.
Overall Rating: 5.5/10
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