I judge every movie only on its merit and whether or not it’s good. I don’t have guns blazing for the big budget stuff, nor do I put on a Santa hat and have mercy on the little ones. If it’s good, you’ll hear it from me. If it’s bad, you’ll hear it louder. One size fits all and one standard for everything.
Note that just a couple of days ago, I destroyed a FRIDAY THE 13TH (Read Review Here) fan film that looks like it cost couch-cushion change.
Mercy is for the weak.
Take this into account when I tell you the story of me and BIT PARTS. It’s showing at SiliCon, so my editor WIL Keiper wants me to give it a good review. Molly Celaschi, who handles the screeners, sent me a note with the BIT PARTS DVD encouraging me to “lean towards the positive.”
[Editor's Note: WAIT! I never put a note in one of Royce's reviews before, BUT SHE DID NOT SEND YOU A NOT SAYING THAT! The best part is you pointed it out. Also HOW DARE YOU say I ever suggested you give anything a good review for a personal gain! It has never happened.]
Also, she sent me a note from producer/director/co-star Dave Reda, saying “This is not my CITIZEN KANE, but I think it’s still a pretty cool little horror movie for being shot on Super 16mm and coming in under 30k in budget.” In addition, included on the DVD is an interview with Reda and executive producer Karl W. Schweitzer on their local NBC affiliate in San Jose, eyes all aglow from being on TV for the very first time. It really is the most adorable-est thing you ever saw.
Now, with all that weighing over anyone else, they might want to give the film more than an even break. With all that weighing over ME? I load the shotgun. All this yappin’ and good cheer, the movie better back it up. So I bared my teeth, ready to kill as I popped BIT PARTS into my DVD player and lo and behold…
It’s actually good.
No, seriously. Developed characters. Well shot. Competently acted. Propulsive narrative. GOOD.
Oh, God-DAMMIT!
Anyway, disgraced plastic surgeon Dr. Cranston (Christopher Page) gets into a car accident that disfigures his daughter Maggie (Michelle Angel). So he goes all nutty-nuts and starts holding auditions for actresses in LA, abducting the ones with the right nose/lips/boobs/what-have-you and does a little creative surgery on them to get his daughter back to her former glory.
Melissa (Molly Fix) has nice lips and comes to Los Angeles to make her way as an actress. Guess what happens to HER..?
Melissa’s sister Brenda (Sarah Gordon) comes to LA to look for her, and with the help of the cabbie that picked her up from the airport, (Reda) they do that whole race against time thing.
If nothing else, BIT PARTS is efficiently paced and never boring. Reda and his editor Michael Escobido know better than to overstay their welcome and keep things brisk and the film comes in at seventy-eight minutes with nary an ounce of fat. The short running time actually works here, as opposed to something like a movie based on an SNL skit that bloats five minutes to ninety because of a poverty of ideas.
Reda’s visual techniques are pretty Goddamn nifty for a horror cheapie. The Cranstons live in a house with the windows boarded up and sunlight filtering through the cracks, providing creepy yet plausible atmosphere, making it scary because the low budget makes it all the more real. And the flashy editing techniques echo ULLI LOMMEL’S THE BLACK DAHLIA, but in a good way. Sort of like a side-by-side comparison of what to do and what NOT to do. BIT PARTS uses immediate black and white flashbacks of what just happened to underline the insanity of Dr. Cranston, as opposed to ULBD, which did it for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!
But it all falls to the page and I’m relieved to report that Jon Rosenberg’s script to BIT PARTS is good and for the last act, I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I like the fact that not only does Dr. Cranston start killing people because he is crazy, but because he is trying to do his daughter a solid and believes he is right. I also like how the family disposes of the bodies. I couldn’t tell you how many times I was thinking during CAPTIVITY: “What, does THE CORPSE FAIRY come and MIRACLE these dead bodies away?”
Just one thing, though. Debra and the cabbie go to see a private detective to help them. His last name..? GIALLO!
This is cutesy… Please stop.
But BIT PARTS is far from flawless, and most of that has to do with the acting. Now are they bad? No. But they are poorly managed. Case and point, Page and Angel as the Cranstons. They had me and then they engage in overacting so heightened it could blister paint. It’s not really fair to rag on them because during their quiet moments they are quite good. I get the feeling that, with director Reda being an actor first and foremost, he couldn’t resist the urge to let his actors play around to their heart’s content. It’s a rookie mistake. A firm hand goes a long way.
I was… whelmed by BIT PARTS. Neither underwhelmed, nor overwhelmed. Just whelmed. But it’s a good start for those involved, and stretches its thirty K a long way. But promise only gets folks so far. They’re going to have to deliver on it sooner or later The question on my mind is…
Will Reda get better the next time out?
3 out of 4
Read all of Dr. Royce Clemens reviews in his Archives
