The most underrated “Friday The 13th” sequel has to be “Part V: A New Beginning.” Everybody talks shit about the “fake Jason” movie and some even dismiss it as the worst of the series. (obviously they never saw Jason X) I consider “A New Beginning” to be the last truly great entry in the franchise, and the last to capture a superior slasher atmosphere.
Here are just ten of the highlights:
- “Demon” (aka Juwanna Man!) serenading his girlfriend with “ooooh baby, hey baby” shortly before threatening her life, all the while sitting on the outhouse toilet (”this shitbox’s GROSS!”), right before getting impaled!
- Psycho “Vic” chopping up “Joey” the retard with an axe! Psycho Vic deserved his own movie, or at LEAST should have fought the “Jason” in this movie! The actor who played Vic, Mark Venturini (RIP) also appeared as “Suicide” in “Return Of The Living Dead.” What do you think this is, a fuckin’ costume? That guy ruled!
- “Billy” the cokehead paramedic (and self proclaimed “pride of the Unger Institute of Mental Health”) who informs us he has just dumped his last bedpan and would like very much to party, requests an order of “Lana with nothing on her to go”, AND gives us the forecast of: “Cloudy in the mountains, sunny in the valleys, and snow flurries up your nose!”
- “Lana” the hot blooded cokewhore waitress that gamely shows us her tits before getting axed!
- That chick with the HUGE breasts getting her eyes gouged out with pruning shears! I have to mention that in my opinion the actress who played “Tina,” Debi Sue Vorhees, has the best breasts of any chick in the Friday The 13th series! Big, natural, and beautiful.
- “Violet” the “punk” chick doing her funky robot dance that makes me happy in the pants!
- The screaming mongoloid on a motorcycle depcapitation!
- The odd, inexplicable appearance of two profane 1950’s styled greasers, Vinny & Pete, whose car breaks down in the woods leaving Pete to complain about how “those cunts won’t wait all night” before getting his throat slit and Vinny gets a road flare in the mouth! More slasher films should feature profane 1950’s styled greasers.
- “Reggie the reckless” screaming like a menstruating woman whenever he sees Jason and then owning ass on a bulldozer! (remember when that same kid got molested while playing “jungle man” in the shower on an episode of “Diff’rent Strokes”?!?)
- “Ethel” saying the immortal words “You big dildo. Eat your fucking slop! Ain’t I make the best goddamned stew in the whole wide world?”
I think I’ve proved my point! Enjoy the theatrical trailer!
HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!
