Gory greetings horror fans and headbangers alike! This week’s column is dedicated to those two great tastes that go great together: Horror Movies & Heavy Metal! I’m proud to present you gorehounds and rivetheads my thoughts on four superior flicks from the golden era of horror/metal hybrids. These flicks all feature long haired degenerate metalheads in staring roles and original soundtracks exploding with heavy metal thunder! Get ready to share in some priceless heavy metal memories. You just might bang your head till you bleed!
“Trick Or Treat” (1986)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0092112/
Marc Price, well known to 80’s tv lovers as the wacky next door neighbor (Skippy” from “Family Ties”) stars here as “Ragman”, a loser teenage metalhead who is tormented by bullies in school and spends his free time writing fan letters to his favorite rocker – the controversial and flamboyant Sammi Curr. Ragman idolizes Sammi Curr because Sammi went to the same shitty small town high school as a teen. When Sammi suddenly dies in a mysterious hotel room fire Ragman is devastated. He even rips down every heavy metal poster in his room! (lots of great posters get trashed, sad scene really)
But the shit really hits the fan when Ragman is given a rare first pressing of the unreleased brand new Sammi Curr record by his radio dj pal “Nuke”. (played by that scumbag Gene Simmons from Ki$$) Ragman plays the record backwards and the vengeful spirit of Sammi Curr is unleashed! Sammi’s voice and and the supernatural power of his spirit help Ragman finally get revenge against all of the jocks and preps that have been pushing him around.
At first Ragman (I never get tired of typing that name!) loves getting the upper hand. But Sammi soon goes too far, and after his demonic spirit melts a girl’s ears Ragman realizes that he’s really just a pawn in Sammi Curr’s deadly game. Ragman then has to race against time to try to destroy the record containing Sammi’s spirit before Sammi can resurrect himself in the flesh at the big Lakeridge High Halloween dance and make the entire school suffer.
This flick is the definition of a “heavy metal horror flick”. It was clearly manufactured and marketed to appeal to the rabid legions of 80’s metalheads. Marc Price is a bit of a miscast as a metalhead, because he’s just too damn geeky. He looks more like a “D&D” player. This flick is also pretty soft in the horror department. No blood, just lots of wacky demon hijinks including the aforementioned melting ears and the awesome sight of Sammi Curr reaching into a tv set and pulling out an obnoxious anti-rock & roll crusader played by Ozzy Osbourne. (the two biggest selling points of this flick were the brief cameo appearances of Ozzy & Gene)
High School angst is another big star here. There is some nice drama along the way as Ragman is stripped and humiliated in gym class, and later shoved into a swimming pool with a backpack full of weights. You really do have to feel for the kid as he is continually humiliated throughout the beginning of the film. There’s also a slew of very memorable lines in this baby, especially in the opening scene where we hear a beautiful letter that Ragman is composing for Sammi. “You did it man. You beat this fucking school…it’s like you say: Rock’s chosen warriors will rule the apocalypse”. FUCK YEAH!!!
The heavy metal soundtrack is performed exclusively by Fastway, a band I had never really been too familiar with other than their ripping song “All Fired Up”, and the fact that “Fast” Eddie Clarke from Motorhead was the guitar player. Fastway provides some really good tracks here, including the title track, “Tear Down The Walls”, and “Get Tough”. The music compliments the movie nicely. Metalheads will also love Ragman’s bedroom in the movie, as it is full of classic metal posters and records.
Remember those?
I’ve been a fan of this one ever since I bought a used vhs copy of it around 1990 or so. It’s now available on a cheap-o bare bones dvd from Platinum Entertainment. You can also find it in an amazing Platinum Entertainment double feature dvd set along with the Charlie Sheen/Clint Howard classic “The Wraith”!
Enjoy the classic Fastway video for the song “Trick Or Treat”!
“Zombie Nightmare” (1986)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0092297/
A big beefy softball player is the victim of a fatal hit and run. His grieving and dimwitted mother logically turns to the local voodoo priestess. Soon enough sonny boy is turned into a big beefy bloodthirsty zombie hellbent on catching up to the frosted hair sporting punks who left him dead. A junior police officer (and I mean JUNIOR – the guy looks about 20 years old tops!) attempts to investigate as dead bodies start turning up all over town, even at the “Twist & Creme”! The drunken and incoherent police chief only seems to want to cover the whole thing up, and he may have his own deadly motives for doing so.
Any flick that has its opening titles set to the shredding sounds of Motorhead’s “Ace Of Spades” certainly deserves a mention when discussing heavy metal horror flicks! This 1986 Canadian epic by director Jack Bravman stars the rock warrior himself – Jon Mikl Thor as the lead zombie! It also features a poofy haired spaghetti throwing lead villain who looks like he could easily fill in as the bass player of Whitesnake. This flick is also notable for a brief, probably intoxicated appearance from that nutjob Adam West, and for marking the screen debut of a fresh faced Tia Carrare, who later went on to star in “Wayne’s World” and several of my wet dreams.
This rather putrid zombie flick is probably best known for being featured in a classic episode of “Mystery Science Theater 3000″. Even without the brilliant wisecracks of Mike Nelson & his robot pals this flick still manages to be unintentionally hilarious. The acting across the board is just horrible. Adam West turns in a performance so bad that even HE should be ashamed of it. The direction is so slow and uninspired it sometimes feels like the director fell asleep while he was filming. There’s not a likable character in the bunch, but at least they all die. Being a softball enthusiast, the zombie prefers to bash brains in with his trusty bat instead of eating them. This has a lot less carnage then one might expect from a flick titled “Zombie Nightmare”. This pretty much fails as a horror flick, but works as both a comedy and a period piece. This flick is truly a shrine to all things with big hair and small brains.
The best part of the movie is easily the AMAZING soundtrack which includes “Ace Of Spades”, “Danger Zone” by Fist, “We Rule The Night” by Virgin Steel, “Rebirth” by Thor, “C’mon Let’s Go” by Girlschool, and best of all: “Midnite Man” by a very young and very glammed out Pantera! Rockin’ stuff! Sadly, no official dvd or soundtrack release, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. I cherish my dvd+r copy of this cheesy classic!
Enjoy ten minutes of hilarity from the MST3K version of “Zombie Nightmare”!
“Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare” (1987)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0093873/
Road weary rockers The Tritonz take a much needed vacation at a secluded farm house/recording studio WAY outside of Toronto. Their big haired and bigger breasted leader Jon Triton (played by the rock ‘n’ roll LEGEND himself – Jon Mikl Thor!) sets the ambitious goals of getting some rest, scratching the seven year itch, and trying to come up with ten minutes of new material for the record company. Little does this promising young band know that they will soon break up, one by one, limb by limb!
This rock ‘n’ roll wet dream quickly becomes the rock ‘n’ roll nightmare the title promises. One by one the rather moronic band mates, their nerdy manager who sports a sweet “Archies Fan Club” jacket, and their various haggard looking wives and groupies are all possessed and/or killed by impish and deadly demonic forces that are running rampant throughout the evil house. Only Jon Triton is still left standing after a long day of making music and making sweet love in the shower. (You’ll want some bleach on hand to splash in your eyes when this scene comes on!) He must accept the challenge to overcome the evil ALONE.
I would be lying if I called “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare” anything but the greatest film of all time. It really is pretty much the best movie ever made. I can’t think of another movie that I’ve watched so many times and can still find it as entertaining and utterly hilarious as the first time I saw it. (except for Samurai Cop, but thats a topic for another day) This Canadian epic was written and produced by the multi-talented Thor, and was directed by John Fasano who also directed the classic “Black Roses”. It was made on a micro-budget, shot in a matter of days, and was actually one of the first movies to ever be completely edited digitally. For it’s time this was cutting edge stuff!
This flick could be described as a cracked out combination of “The Muppet Show”, “This Is Spinal Tap”, “Hercules Unchained”, “Clash Of The Titans”, and “The Evil Dead”. Only “Basket Case” has ever used clay to greater effect. The lovingly and crappily crafted little clay monsters in this flick look like refugees from a bad “Gumby” episode or something. Lots of great use of puppets as well. The sight of a muscular man clad in a silver jockstrap attempting to convincingly wrestle a giant Satan puppet in a carefully choreographed battle to the death is another one of those things that I think all people should see before they die.
I’ve described the nightmarish aspects of the film (although I mercifully avoided any discussion of the inept acting, ugliness of the actresses, or the sluggish pacing) so it’s time to talk about the rock ‘n’ roll! Jon Mikl Thor wrote the lions share of the music for the film and of two of his classic songs are featured music video style within the film – “We Live To Rock” and “Energy”. These mini-videos are the highlight of the film. The soundtrack also features metal anthems from Thor like “We Accept The Challenge” and “Heads Will Turn”. Thor really is a rock warrior! He tours and releases albums and films to this day. Check out his website: www.thorcentral.net, and his official myspace page where you can hear some of his great songs: http://www.myspace.com/thorrockwarrior.
This classic flick has finally got the beautiful special edition dvd treatment it so richly deserves thanks to the fine folks at Synapse. The dvd includes a hilarious commentary track with John Fasano and Jon Mikl Thor where they have a laugh watching the film together many years later, as well as a sweet mini biography piece on Thor. I consider this a must see flick and a must own dvd! ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!!!
Enjoy the sheer awesomeness that is “WE LIVE TO ROCK!”
“Black Roses” (1988)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0094752/
Another heavy metal themed horror epic from director John Fasano, who had become a household name for directing the classic “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare” a year earlier. This one is about a very popular and controversial metal band called Black Roses who out of the blue announce that they will be kicking off their world tour in a tiny little town in the middle of East Buttfuck, USA.
The concerned parents in Mill Basin are initially up in arms over having the hard living hard rockers in their small town but are eventually won over by the smooth talking Roses front man, Damian. The parents should have listened to their instincts as the Black Roses are actually DEMONS that merely pose as a rock band so they can possess stupid kids with their evil music. Once the evil has claimed their souls the kids turn into killers and rise up against their parents. Definitely a cautionary tale.
The plot is pure 80’s. Keep in mind this flick came out in 1988, which was right around the same time that the Ozzy Osbourne and Judas Priest suicide cases were making headlines. There was also a considerable backlash at that time against heavy metal for having an evil, corrupting influence on kids. This flick plays up those fears to ultimate comedic effect. There’s a great scene where an obnoxious father (some fat Italian dude from “The Sopranos” that I refuse to look up on imdb) gets sucked into his son’s speakers.
There’s also tons of big hair, leather outfits, and some nice gratuitous nudity. This one is just as hilarious as “Rock N’ Roll Nightmare”, but is slightly (very slightly!) better acted and has a touch higher production value. The effects are still bargain basement cheapness though! This flick was memorable for having a very beautiful vhs cover with 3D plastic artwork. This flashy cover made the flick stand out amongst the pack of other horror flicks in video stores and helped this flick become a bit of a success.
As you might expect from its inclusion in a “heavy metal memories” discussion, this flick has an excellent heavy metal soundtrack. It features gems like “Soldiers Of The Night” and “Rock Invasion” performed by Black Roses/Masi, “Me Against The World” by Lizzy Borden, and my personal favorite – “D.I.E.” by the criminally underrated thrashers Hallow’s Eve! Sadly, both the movie and the soundtrack are out of print, but numerous bootlegs are easily available via the internet. Like “Zombie Nightmare” I’d say a proper dvd release is only a matter of time. This is a cult classic for sure!
Check out this excellent Black Roses tribute page where you can hear some of the killer songs!
http://www.myspace.com/blackrosesthemovie
That’s it for this week. Next week I will share even more heavy metal memories. As always, KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!! (and listen to Megadeth!)
Read All of “Brain Hammer’s Picks From the Crypt!”
