Once or twice a year some of the biggest names in horror get together for a dinner party. Among the many regular guests are “Halloween” creator John Carpenter, “Hellraiser’s” Clive Barker, “Texas Chainsaw’s” Tobe Hooper, and Mick Garris. While Garris did a lot of behind-the-scenes work in the horror genre, with his best know works being “Psycho IV” and “Critters 2: The Main Course,” he barely deserved to be bussing the table for these masters, let alone sit at it. In the end it was for the best because Garris spearheaded an anthology show idea as a direct-to-DVD series that was eventually picked up for cable by Showtime, featuring his dinning compatriots.
“Masters of Horror” entered its second season last October, following up an extremely uneven premiere year. Of the original thirteen “Masters” episodes, only two of them were remarkable while the rest were either forgettable or downright awful. Overcoming critical panning and lackluster fan interest, “MOH” returned for a second uneven season, and as with the first, Anchor Bay is distributing the episodes, one at time, out of episodic order with unnecessary extra footage.
“Suspiria” creator and all-around horror genius Dario Argento returned to the second season in an attempt to make up for his first disastrous entry, “Jennifer”; easily the worst episode of the premiere season Argento tried to cover up “Jennifer’s” lack of story or characterization with over-the-top fucking and failed miserably. To put it into perspective, this episode was worse than Tobe “I made a good movie over thirty years ago and have been riding its coattails ever since” Hooper’s entry, and that’s inexcusable for Argento, the man who gave us “Inferno.” Thankfully, Argento’s second entry is leaps and bounds above last year’s. Sure, it’s got all the sex and hot luscious tits one would expect out of either an Argento piece or a pay cable television series, but this time he brought along a story and some of the grizzliest gore effects I’ve seen in a while. How often to you get to see somebody drop themselves face first into a bear trap with no cutaway? Yeah, it’s that kind of grizzly.
Adapted from an F. Paul Wilson short story, “Pelts” tells the tale of Jake Feldman (Meatloaf), a struggling furrier with a chip on his shoulder, who is obsessed with two things: ditching the “small-time” for the “big-time” and getting lesbian stripper Shana (Ellen Ewusie) to change teams for him. While in the midst of admiring his fascination dropping her top on stage in a room full of men, Jake is contacted by hillbilly trapper Jeb Jameson (John Saxon), drunk and a bit surly. Jeb tells Jake that he’s got some of the finest coon skins ever seen hanging in his shed. Jake, uninterested and unimpressed, shines him on as he ogles his fascination; then Jeb tells him that these pelts are so beautiful they could give a man his wildest dreams. Before hanging up, Jake agrees to come out and take a look the following morning. But what Jeb didn’t mention to Jake was about the unusual, mystical forest where he and his son trapped these amazing raccoons; and Jeb never will, for both he and his son will be dead before sunrise. As will all others that handle these accursed pelts, and their gore-filled deaths will be by their own hands, controlled by a power not their own.
As with most of the “Masters of Horror” series, the acting and storytelling in “Pelts” takes a minor backseat to the nudity and gore. Which sometimes can be a great thing, but only when the overpowering visuals work in tandem with the thin plot, and thankfully in this entry they do. It also doesn’t hurt that the stunning Ellen Ewusie spends almost the entirety of her time on screen topless, and is even so kind as to spend a lengthy time running through a warehouse while doing so. While most of the “Masters” entries have been unashamedly made for the one-handed viewers (this was originally aired on Showtime, after all), what sets “Pelts” apart from other nipple-filled episodes is the surprisingly engaging acting demonstrated by Meatloaf. Mr. Aday has come a long way from his feature film debut in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and he’s since replaced those mutton chops with some acting chops. Without a doubt the true shining star of “Pelts” is the eternally captivating character actor extraordinaire, John Saxon, a genre favorite since his star turn as Nancy’s dad in “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” Saxon takes over every scene he’s in, and although his character meets an incredibly grisly demise early on, he’s one of the most memorable parts of the episode, of the parts that don’t have exposed areola, anyway.
With most of the “Masters of Horror” DVDs, Anchor Bay doesn’t skim on the extras, but as much as I love the commentaries and featurettes, if it meant getting the entire season in one set, I’d gladly give up half the bonus features on this disc. It’s just a sad fact that several hapless suckers like me are going to buy this a second time once Anchor Bay releases the inevitable season-length collections with added bonus features. Don’t believe me? Check how many times they’ve re-released “Dawn of the Dead,” and like a schmuck I’ve picked up every single one
Both the thirteen-minute long “Fleshing Out: The Making of Pelts” and its eight-minute counterpart, “All Sewn Up: Mastering the Effects Sequence” are enjoyable looks at the making of “Pelts.” While both are undeniably short, they give a surprisingly in-depth look at the production of this episode, even providing a moment with Argento where he dispels the thought of this being an anti-fur piece, although it’s hard to believe it once you’ve viewed the episode. The most enjoyable bonus feature included on this disc is the fun, lighthearted commentary provided by script writer Matt Vennne. Obviously a fan of the genre and Argento himself, it’s refreshing to hear a fan who has broken into the big time and is willing to expose the years it took to get there. After hearing commentary after commentary provided by filmmakers completely disconnected with their product or their fans, Venne’s chipper insights are both unique and endearing. Also included are storyboard, stills, an Argento bio, and a copy of the screenplay, but all of this fluff is just there to distract you from the lack of a season-length set.
As corny as killer coon pelts sound, the story actually works and with the copious amounts of gore Argento drips over this anti-fur parable, it’s hard not to squirm in your seat. Even I almost had to raise a hand to block the screen, once Jake started to create “the ultimate leather vest” for his love Shana. Full of sex, blood and guts, “Pelts” is a great way to start off the DVD release of the “Masters of Horror’s” second season; I just wish I could pick up the entire year at once, but I guess I’ll just have to be patient like the asshole that I am.
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