Are your ears still ringing from last week’s column? If so, the sheer VOLUME of this week’s PICKS FROM THE CRYPT will make your brain explode and your ears cry for mercy! Less talk, more rock. Let the heavy metal memories continue!
“Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III” (1990)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099994/
THE SAW IS FAMILY!!! Leatherface returns unscathed from both chainsaw disembowelment and a grenade explosion with a brand new family of psychos in this 1990 flick that seems to ignore the existence of the first two “Chainsaw” flicks. What you get this time is a yet another tale of a traveling young couple who fall into the clutches of Bubba and his kinfolk. Bill Butler dies quickly (as he always does, but that’s subject matter for another day!) and it’s up to Ken Foree to save the day with his trusty machine gun!
This flick starts with a SPLAT (the first thing we see is a chick getting the business end of a sledge) and keeps up the action and intensity right up until the end. A lot of fans (sadly including Joe Bob Briggs) think this flick is garbage and the worst of the series, but I have to disagree. That honor obviously goes to Ken Henkel’s pathetic “Next Generation.” “Leatherface” on the other hand is a full-on hardcore horror flick, that when seen in its uncut form is easily the most violent and action packed entry in the franchise.
Keep in mind this flick was butchered to get an “R” rating. The MPAA gave this flick an “X” rating seventeen times before it was finally neutered to suit their standards. When it was finally released in 1990 the horror fans of the world collectively took a dump on it, and rightfully so. The “R” rated version was so hacked to pieces it barely made sense in some scenes. Even the director Jeff Burr wanted nothing to do with it. The film has now been restored and is available on dvd with the gore and continuity intact. I think this flick is highly underrated and deserves a second chance with fans.
There are some really great performances from Ken Foree as our hero, Viggo “Lord Of The Rings” Mortensen as the sexually ambiguous hitchhiker “Tex,” and the always underused Joe Unger as the brains of the family “Tink.” I also love Tom Everett’s performance as the creepy gas station attendant “Alfredo” who throws hacked limbs and severed heads into a swamp and asks the immortal question “Is it soup yet?”
Then of course there’s the soundtrack, the reason this flick belongs in this column. Any TCM flick where Leatherface takes the time to crank up a little Death Angel before mowing someone over in his truck clearly has its heart in the right place! New Line wisely decided that this flick needed to be marketed to the heavy metal loving horror fans of the world and put together a kick ass soundtrack which was released by Medusa Records in 1989. (thanks to the battles with the MPAA the soundtrack came out before the movie!)
Check out the killer lineup:
Laaz Rockit - Leatherface
Death Angel - Bored
Wrath - When Worlds Collide
Hurricane - Spark In My Heart
SGM - Power
Sacred Reich - One Nation
Utter Lunacy - Monster Mash
Wasted Youth - The Gift Of Death
Obsession - Methods Of Madness
MX Machine - Psychotic Killing Machine
I still cherish my well worn soundtrack cassette! The inside of the cover features some nice publicity shots for the flick that I’ve still never seen anywhere else. Trust me when I say that the title track is some fucking tremendous thrash!
“Here’s your invitation to come join Leatherface
It’s his addiction to keep you face to face!”
Check out the Laaz Rockit video for “Leatherface”, taken from an old episode of “Headbanger’s Ball”:
Pretty much the greatest video of all time I’d say!
“Pledge Night” (1988)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0095878/
A 1988 horror flick notable to metalheads for featuring Joey Belladonna from Anthrax in a small yet pivotal role as “Sid,” a young hippy dude who is brutally disfigured in an acid bath during a pledge night hazing prank. Years later his nasty looking corpse (not played by Joey) shows up to wreak some Freddy Kruger styled havoc on a new group of dimwitted frat boys and their idiot pledges.
This fun flick, which was produced by genre legends Shapiro/Glickenhaus, could be described as a cheeseball combination of “Animal House” and “A Nightmare On Elm Street.” The character of “Acid Sid” is a rather lame attempt at a Freddy Kruger ripoff. He spouts hippy one liners like “Where’s the protest?” and “This one’s for Spiro Agnew!” while he stalks his victims. There is more than a little splatter for gorehounds to enjoy, but the main focus here is ass-related hilarity. If you dig that sort of thing this is your movie!
This movie has a fixation on male asses that is really quite disturbing. There’s lots of nauseating homoerotic frat boy hijinx along the way including cherries up the ass, cherry bombs up the ass, and even turd biting! There is some really funny dialogue too, including a hilarious scene where a pledge doesn’t want to drink an initiation epicac and helpfully suggests to his friends: “We could stick it up our asses, or rub it on our hair and bodies!”
Anthrax was heavily featured on the soundtrack, and since it was 1988 the songs all rule! Their cover of Black Sabbath’s “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” is used amongst other classic tracks. Having Joey briefly appear in this movie and using Anthrax for the soundtrack assured it would appeal to at least a few metalheads when it made its debut on home video.
I remember renting this one back in the day and thinking it sucked. Looking back, it probably still does but I’d kill for a special edition dvd release. It’s funny how that works.
“Maximum Overdrive” (1986)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0091499/
For three days in 1986 the Earth passes through the tail of a mysterious comet. During those three days machines on earth come to life and terrorize their human creators. A small group of survivors led by Emilio Estevez hide out inside a greasy truck stop diner while a large group of homicidal tractor trailer trucks surround them. Think “Night Of The Living Dead” with big rigs instead of zombies. Emilio finds the conveniently located stash of machine guns and rocket launchers underneath the truck stop (wtf?) and tries to blow as much stuff up as HUMANLY possible. Humanly, get it? I’m being clever.
Best selling horror author Stephen King made his directorial debut with this hard rockin’, fast paced, and ultra violent tale of Earth being overrun by killer machines. King adapted the screenplay from his original short story “Trucks.” To Steve’s credit he stuffed this flick with scene after scene of splashy violence. Little league players are squashed by steamrollers, watermelons crush peoples’ heads thanks to malfunctioning drawbridges, and lethal vending machines destroy genitals and electrocute people!
Stephen King is also a well known metalhead. The man ran his own radio station in Maine for years and frequently played the likes of Black Sabbath and Anthrax. For “Maximum Overdrive” he turned to one of his favorite bands: AC/DC, and the Aussies provided an incredible selection of music. They wrote three new songs exclusively for the movie: “Chase The Ace,” “D.T.,” and the theme song for the movie - “Who Made Who.” They also provided several pieces of untitled incidental music that was used throughout the movie.
The soundtrack album was released by AC/DC under the title “Who Made Who” and instantly became a big hit. (a much bigger hit than the movie actually) Check out the awesome track list:
Who Made Who
D.T.
Chase The Ace
Hells Bells
For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)
You Shook Me All Night Long
Ride On
Shake Your Foundations
Sink The Pink
This flick bombed when it came out back in the day and was savaged by bad reviews from critics and fans alike. It went on to become a staple of cable television, airing almost daily for what seemed like years. Over the years this flick has become a fan favorite and something of a cult classic. I’m not a huge fan myself, but it’s hard to deny a flick with so much action. It certainly isn’t boring!
Check out this cool “Maximum Overdrive Version” of the AC/DC classic “Who Made Who”:
“River’s Edge” (1986)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091860/
Not a horror movie, but the soundtrack is primarily SLAYER, and this flick is a must see anyway!
Samson ‘John’ Tollet is a big gumpy teen (played to chilling perfection by Daniel Roebuck) who one day chokes his girlfriend to death because “she was talking shit.” He leaves her naked corpse in plain sight in a semi-secluded spot where the local kids gather to get wasted.
John tells his incredibly annoying speedfreak “friend” Layne (Cripsin Glover!) about it and soon enough a bunch of kids (including Keanu Reeves!) are going to the river’s edge to get a first-hand look at death. What’s strange is that no one seems to be really concerned or effected by any of this, including the girl’s friends and her killer. After her body is finally discovered by police, Layne decides to stash John away at the house of their crazy pot dealer Feck (Dennis Hopper!) and tries to raise money so John can leave town. The next morning there is another dead body at the river’s edge.
That’s the express version of the story, but there’s a lot more going on. Kids are falling in love (sort of), brothers are torn apart and brought back together, lots and lots of drama. What’s amazing is how profoundly moving and disturbing this low budget film manages to be. There’s a lot of scenes worth mentioning, but my favorite is the epic conversation between Daniel Roebuck & Dennis Hopper where they discuss what it’s like to kill and why they did it. Even with those tremendous performances on hand Crispin Glover still manages to pretty much steal the whole fucking movie. (as usual!) His performance here is so over the top and on EDGE that you have to wonder how much of it is acting.
Then of course, there’s the soundtrack. Pure SPEED METAL with the likes of:
“Kyrie Eleison” - Fates Warning
“Captor of Sin” - Slayer
“Tormentor”- Slayer
“Evil Has No boundaries” - Slayer
“Die By The Sword” - Slayer
“Lethal Tendencies” - Hallow’s Eve
There’s also some nice punk rock from Agent Orange & The Wipers. It’s a great soundtrack that perfectly captures the grimy speeded out intensity of fast living, misspent youth. Call this the “Suburbia” of heavy metal. It’s a superior drama with the type of greasy long haired degenerate youth you could only find in 1986.
Enjoy some memorable quotes!!!
Layne: Why did you kill her?
Samson: She was talking shit.
Layne: This is like some fuckin’ movie. Friends since second grade, fuckin’ like THIS [crosses fingers] and then one of us gets himself in potentially BIG trouble, and now we’ve gotta deal with it; we’ve got to test our loyalty against ALL odds. It’s kind of…exciting. I feel like…Chuck Norris, y’know?
Fek: I killed a girl, it was no accident. Put a gun to the back of her head and blew her brains right out the front. I was in love.
Samson: I strangled mine.
Fek: Did you love her?
Samson: She was okay.
Kevin: [to teacher] Don’t you think violence is wrong?
Tom: Aw, fuck off, Kevin. Wasting pigs is radical, man!
Matt: [to his mother's boyfriend] You’re only here so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. MOTHER FUCKER!!! FOOD EATER!!!
Check out the trailer:
That’s all for now! As always, KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!
Read All of “Brain Hammer’s Picks From the Crypt!”
