Spring has sprung and I’m proud to offer the fresh faced horror fans of the world “a new beginning” via another terrible trio of horrendously overlooked horror flicks. This weeks selections are a pair of underrated 80’s slashers and one wacked out 70’s occult epic! LET THE BLOODSHED BEGIN!!!
“Happy Birthday To Me” (1981)
http://imdb.com/title/tt0082498/
Virgina is a promising student at an exclusive private school. She even belongs to an obnoxious clique of snobby kids that consider themselves to be the cream of the school’s crop. Shortly before her 18th birthday her friends start turning up dead. To make things more confusing (and trust me, things get very confusing!) Virgina still suffers from blackouts after a car accident she survived a year prior that took her mother’s life. The blackouts seem to coincide with the murders, and Virgina begins to fear that she might be the killer. Everything comes together at her birthday bash, which quickly becomes the bloodiest party of the year!
An exceptionally well done Canadian horror flick made by J. Lee Thompson and John Saxton right at the fevered peak of the slasher genre. This flick’s memorable ad campaign promised “six of the most of the most bizarre murders you will ever see” and unlike a lot of other exploitation flicks of the era, this one makes good on its promise. The death scenes are all very inventive (and brutal!) and tightly edited for maximum impact. The “shish kebab” and “motorcycle” death scenes are the stuff of legend for slasher enthusiasts. There are some DEADLY car stunts on display too. The sequences where the kids fuck around jumping their cars over a large opening bridge are really impressive.
This flick also delivers an above average amount of character development, as well as numerous plot twists that will keep you guessing throughout. “Happy Birthday To Me” is somewhat infamous amongst horror fans for it’s unpredictable twist ending, which comes almost entirely out of left field and makes little sense. It’s actually a triple twist, and say what you want about that being far fetched, it certainly is neither boring or predictable.
The Columbia dvd release of “Happy Birthday To Me” is good, but could have better. For one thing the original soundtrack was tampered with. Second, the new dvd artwork is horrendous. Why the powers that be at Columbia chose to replace the classic cover shot of the dude getting the business end of a shish kebab is beyond me. Sure, they included it as an insert, but that seems too little too late. The new cover with a stupid looking chick with green glowing eyes holding a birthday cake sucks. To make things worse, there are no bonus features. This is a bare bones release. Better than nothing I guess. The film looks great and is uncut, which is what I really care about.
Fans of the slasher genre should consider this flick mandatory viewing. I’ve seen more of these flicks than you could shake a stick at, and this one stands out as one of the best, made with a cast and crew with considerable talents. A bit overlong, and a bit confusing in places, but a very fun and original horror flick for sure.
“Hell High” (1989)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091192/
A sexually repressed biology teacher is haunted by the violent impalement of two greasy teens that she accidentally caused as a young Jon Benet lookalike. All grown up but emotionally disturbed, she starts to crack when four of her most annoying students start harassing her in class, and then follow her home one night to vandalize her house. She finally snaps and goes beserk after the kids break in to sexually assault her. Her demented night of vengeance is best summed up by the European title of the film - “Raging Fury”!
This is a personal favorite of mine, and truly one of of the last great 80’s slasher flicks. This flick is almost criminally ignored or underrated by horror fans. Perhaps the title is misleading, because this is not your typical, run of the mill high school slash ‘em up. This flick plays out more in the sleazy revenge-themed tradition of flicks like “I Spit On Your Grave”. There are a couple of very nice T&A shots along the way (fine use of stunt breasts here, the lead actress was pregnant at the time of shooting and had tiny tits anyways) and some nice gory moments.
Heads are bashed with rocks (very brutal!), pencils are shoved into temples, multiple bloody impalements, throat slashings, human disection experiments - this flick truly delivers the goods for slasher fans with a hunger for such things. It also features one of the best male screams in all of horror history and some hideously catchy original pop music. (The Johnny Vance theme song “I’ll Trust In You” will haunt your dreams!)
A very unique horror film from the dying days of the slasher craze. This fine flick is now available on dvd, featuring a hilarious commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs, director’s commentary, and a bunch of other sweet bonus features, thanks to the fine fiends at Shriek Show.
I wanted to post the trailer but couldn’t find it. So here’s an 8 minute video of “Hell High” highlights:
“Vengeance Of The Zombies” (1973)
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0069165/
Another masterpiece of over the top occult themed horror from the dreaded Spanish tag team of director Leon Klimovsky and actor/writer Jacinto Molina (aka Paul Nacshy)! I’ve been on a tear lately trying to collect as many of these films as I can. This is by far the most entertaining of the bunch I’ve seen.
Say what you want about all the unintentional humor, inappropriate lounge music used for score, or the sheer overwhelming cheesiness of these old school Spanish horror flicks. I personally think they have a creepy, authentic horror atmosphere that rivals most other far more polished horror films. Director Leon Klimovsky could always be counted on to deliver the goods. I’ve enjoyed every film of his that I’ve seen. They are always chock full of eerie cavernous castles, freshly unearthed rotting corpses, lots of gory effects and blood, and an abundance of really good looking women!
Jacinto Molina really is an ICON of horror. Sadly, he doesn’t get nearly enough recognition for the decades full of classic horror films that he’s written, directed, and starred in. This guy has really done it all. He’s played every memorable movie monster there is. His most famous reoccurring character was Waldemar Daninsky - the wolf man. He’s also appeared as the Devil, Dracula, a mummy, a hunchback, a grave robber, an evil knight, a mercenary, and an assassin!
A lot of his characters in these films are practitioners of the black arts. Over the years many of his films featured evil characters that boldly experiment with Satanism, Sorcery, Witchcraft, blood sacrifices, alchemy, immortality, and resurrection of the dead. Molina in real life studied black magic in order to make his films and characters more authentic. His storylines are always completely wild and over the top. “Vengeance Of The Zombies” is no exception. The tale of a family curse, a brother’s betrayal, and an army of murderous zombies is the stuff of pure fantasy.
No werewolves this time around. Instead we are treated to grave robbing, black masses, masked murder rampages, voodoo, ritual sacrifice, chicken decapitation, the walking dead, and the sight of Naschy as both an Indian Mystic named “Krishna” (of course!) and a horned Satan who drinks blood from a golden chalice!!! Lots of bloody mayhem in this one, and some nice nudity provided by some especially hot looking women. I can’t seem to correctly identify the name of the actress who plays the Indian chick who is Krishna’s sidekick, but I can tell you that she is one of the most unbelievably beautiful women I’ve ever seen!
This gem is now available on a beautifully remastered dvd thanks to the fine folks at Deimos/Brentwood. Also available on dvd from Deimos/Brentwood is Paul Naschy’s 1980 film “Night Of The Werewolf”, which is also excellent. Best of all, these flicks are cheap. I got both for only $20! Horror fans looking for something a little…different should give these a try.
Read All of “Brain Hammer’s Picks From the Crypt!”
